Why you look so sad? 123 as of rite now!
by crazy4ba2
Summary: Two young lovers forced to make adult decisions when they were too young, one with a termanial illness, the other forced to move away. Wrapped arounf a twisted prophecy will our family of champions come out on top? AR BA
1. Wednesday's suck

Why You Look So Sad?  
  
Rating: I am not too sure but to be on the safe side I'd say PG to PG-13  
  
Summary: Buffy's life seems relatively simple and humble until Angel O'Connor her best friend decides to move out of Sunnydale before anything has the chance to happen between both of them. Has Buffy lost her chance to make a move or will it all come rushing back when something tragic happens?  
  
Author's note: This is a work in progress I will give it to you in maybe chapters' ok that's bout it.  
  
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of these characters they all belong to Joss whedon and who ever else.!  
  
It was a Wednesday, I hate Wednesdays. I looked up at the swirling sky above our heads to realize that it wouldn't be too long until the rain began to drop all around us. Angel and I scrambled to collect the now wet playing cards on the open porch. I was fourteen that day, and Angel, my beloved best friend Angel was a mere sixteen-year-old. Listen to me, I chuckled, I still put Angel on a pedestal like I have done for all of my life. When we were children we were inseparable but now, it feels like we have been apart for ages. I looked back at angel with adoring eyes and he just looked away. That's when I knew something was wrong.  
  
Buffy summers looked around gathered the remaining cards and forced them into angel's hand!  
  
"Here!" She shouted, louder than she would have liked it to be. Angel just gazed at the floor picking at the raw wood beneath them.  
  
"So that's it you are just going to give me the cold shoulder?" Angel shrugged and she let out a long and frustrated sigh. " Fine have it your way, I'm going, and I don't think I will be back too soon not until you Angel, O'Connor tell me why you've been ignoring me lately. What have I done something to embarrass you in front of your freshmen friends, or is it just me all around huh what is it angel?" She realized she was ranting but between the weather and his attitude it didn't matter to her. Waiting for him to reply she crossed her arms and stood up as to signal she was ready to take a dash for it.  
  
"Buffy, please, could we just not." He said shaking his head, still not looking up.  
  
"God Angel!" her lip started to quiver, but she held it together she wasn't leaving without an answer.  
  
" Fine you really want to know what's been bothering me? Yes it's you. You always being around like its nothing. We've changed Buffy you are fourteen and I am two years your senior you are still in training bras" Buffy glanced down, no he did not just comment on her bust size she clenched her fists. Hey, she thought to herself, I wear real bras, sometimes. "No Buffy I mean it as a metaphor" He noticed her glancing at her chest. " a meta.what?" she stuttered. " See what I mean. We don't connect anymore, I'm dating getting new friends. And you are a really good friend and all but I just I think you should move on Buffy. This thing we do. you know dance around the subject of our obvious differences its tiring." Buffy's mouth dropped in disbelief.  
  
"It's never been a problem before. Something else is up I know it Angel. Remember I know everything about!" She was getting more and more worried by the second. This was ridiculous what did he have to hide from her?  
  
" There is nothing up Buffy" he voice was raising and he suddenly mumbled, " I think we should stop seeing each other." Finally he glanced up, his dark chocolate eyes, brimmed with a glare of water, and shock at himself of what he said to the one girl, he had been there for him every step of the way.  
  
" Fine if that's how you feel" Her voice was weak and cracky. She shook her head at him her tears spilling smearing with the rain. She started to run and then turned around half way down the driveway, " Goodbye angel." She shouted between sobs and ran next door into her house.  
  
As she got into her house before her mother could even say two words she darted up the stairs and in to her room slamming the door causing the pictures on the wall to shake. Angel could see her from his room but hide while watching her reaction in fear of her noticing him and shutting the blinds. She flopped down onto her bed and turned her head to the little pink nightstand next to her bed. There was a picture of a 6-year-old brown haired boy and a four year old blond curly haired girl walking along the shore of a beach posing in hug for a picture. Buffy's sobs got loud and heavier after seeing the picture. She got up and chucked the picture at the wall tearing down all others, old and new. Angel's eyes were empty and one single tear fell from his eyes.  
  
Finally Buffy tuckered herself out by her rampage and came to one final picture that was of her and him dancing at a school dance. Her heart felt a stab of pain. Not only had he pulled the plug on their friendship but of what might have been had thy stayed together. Buffy always felt something more than friendship, even though Angel raced through girlfriends, she always thought he just had to realize she was the girl of his dreams. Little did she know Angel felt the same thing. Angel flopped down on his bed and she did the same. Both of their lights clicked off and Buffy whispered to herself, I hate Wednesdays.  
  
Next chapter:  
  
Summary: Before Buffy gets the chance to go to bed Angel makes a surprise 12 o clock visit at the window, telling her the truth behind his sad eyes and then the two get a taste of what their relationship could have been. Freaturing a song! Ooo la la la 


	2. The Truth Behind your eyes and HeartBrea

Chapter 2- The truth behind those eyes  
  
Buffy's Twisted in her bed, as if her body had a fever and was trying to shake it off, but it was more like her trying to shake off the events earlier that day. She knew that in the morning it would be like any other day. Life would go on without him. Despite how much she wished it wouldn't. It would be hard she thought, passing his house each day, going to school with him. And she dreaded the long talk her and her mother would have about her little breakdown last night. Ugh could things be any worse' her thoughts flowed freely causing traffic for any sentiment of peace and calmness. And she'd have to watch him, suddenly she heard something in the trees. Startled she shot up in confusion. Well at least that cleared her mind of Angel. Opps.. See even my distractions make me think of him. She settled back down to only be woken up again but this time but the voice of a boy.  
  
" Buffy", he nudged her arm looking at her as though she was a very delicate creature. " Are you awake?"  
  
She sat upright and yawned a bit. " Well I am now" she pouted that once cute now sexy pout she had inherited from her mother. " What are you doing here? Have you come to hurt me even more or just to poke and laugh?" He loved how she put things and couldn't help but smirk. " Oh so you think this is funny do you. And who gave you the permission to sneak into my bedroom. For all you know I could sleep naked!" His eyes sorta bulged a little then he regained his senses.  
  
" Firstly I always use the window, Secondly I don't want to hurt you at all, Thirdly I know you sleep with big flannel pajamas and mr. Gourdo!"  
  
She seized Mr. Gourdo from the end of the bed and glared at him. " She we are too connected. So why are you here?" She looked away.  
  
"Because I saw you crying and hate it when you cry." He admitted, playing with the hem of his leather jacket.  
  
" Why would you care I am just a child not worthy of your attention" She stated knowing she struck a chord.  
  
" I do care Buffy I will always care and that's what go me upset."  
  
" What! I may be drawing a point blank here but you are being all sorts of cryptic and my 14 year old brain cant grasp what you are saying.  
  
" I was trying to drive you away. Buffy I wanted ou to hate me."  
  
" Well good job!" He looked at her worried and then she let out a small laugh.  
  
" I don't hate you I never can hate you Angel. Never." She suddenly stepped out of her bed, in a tank and boxer shorts, edging her way over to him. HE was sorta of backing up but came to a halt when she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed up bringing her face to his eye level. She kissed him delicately still not knowing if he would except it but all her doubts were swept away when he grabbed her forcefully and kissed her more passionately then she had started the smooching fest.  
  
She draped her arms around him and just stood their embracing Angel, taking in what had happened. He let her go and looked up at her. She blushed and turned her head.  
  
"See, I could never hate you." She grinned causing him to laugh a bit.  
  
" Buffy I."He started but released a feeling of complete satisfaction.  
  
" That was what I have been waiting forever since I hit 12." She daydreamed. After an awkward silence Angel sat on the edge of the bed and kissed her one last time.  
  
" Buffy I am moving to L.A." He didn't mean it to just come out but it had.  
  
Buffy looked at him in disbelief. He can't do this to her not now not when she was just getting what she wanted. She finally had the chance to be his and him to be hers and he was moving.  
  
" How could you let me kiss you, to only find out that you were moving away!" Her eyes began to fill with tears. Angel hugged her and he started to cry a bit as well.  
  
" I'm sorry, I am so sorry, I just thought if you hated me you wouldn't care and it wouldn't hurt to much." He looked away. She took his head and turned it to her.  
  
" Well congratulations except now, I don't hate you I love you!" She almost shouted this but reminded herself that her mother was in the next room. She walked away and paced back and forth.  
  
" Now what happens?" She asked, " You call me I call you, you get a new girlfriend while I dwell on you and you move on well I stay stuck in the mud?"  
  
"No it won't be like that. Please Buffy, I promise you if you wait for me. Bye your sixteenth birthday I will come back to you, as a man, Free to live where I want, and we will and can be together, forever Buffy Summers."  
  
" Angel I am fourteen I don't know who I want to live with forever and ever, I don't' know if I can even wait that long and never have a boyfriend, knowing that you might just find someone else." She didn't know how to react.  
  
" That's fine if you have moved on when I come back to you I will understand but no matter what I will return to you. I promise you, I love you as a best friend and as a girlfriend."  
  
" I love you too Angel. I always have." She stared and began to cry.  
  
" Don't be sad. Be happy that we will soon be together."  
  
Buffy walked over to him and kissed him soft on the lips before turining on the radio. The song that played made buffy and Angel feel the tragedey of their situation but made Buffy feel confident he'd stand by here.  
  
Oh, why you look so sad?  
  
Tears are in your eyes  
  
Come on and come to me now.  
  
Don't be ashamed to cry,  
  
let me see you through  
  
Cause I've seen the dark side too.  
  
When the night falls on you,  
  
you don't know what to do,  
  
Nothing you confess  
  
could make me love you less  
  
I'll stand by you,  
  
I'll stand by you,  
  
won't let nobody hurt you,  
  
I'll stand by you.  
  
So, if you're mad get mad,  
  
don't hold it all inside ,  
  
Come on and talk to me now.  
  
And hey, what you got to hide ?  
  
I get angry too  
  
But I'm alot like you.  
  
When you're standing at the crossroads ,  
  
don't know which path to choose ,  
  
Let me come along ,  
  
cause even if your wrong  
  
I'll stand by you,  
  
I'll stand by you,  
  
won't let nobody hurt you,  
  
I'll stand by you.  
  
Take me into your darkest hour ,  
  
and I'll never desert you.  
  
I'll stand by you.  
  
And when, when the night falls on you baby ,  
  
you're feeling all alone ,  
  
You won't be on your own,  
  
I'll stand by you.  
  
I'll stand by you  
  
I'll stand by you,  
  
won't let nobody hurt you.  
  
I'll stand by you  
  
Take me in into your darkest hour  
  
and I'll never desert you  
  
I'll stand by you.  
  
Buffy turned as Angel got off the bed and headed for the window.  
  
"I love you and I will wait for you Angel. Angel,." she paused.  
  
" Yes?" He smiled at her,  
  
"Goodbye" She said,  
  
" not goodbye Buffy, See you later," HE smiled and then he was gone leaving her in total shock of all that happened that Wednesday. She went to her bed and sighed,  
  
" Me and Wednesdays I tell you it's a love hate relationship" she smiled and climbed into bed.  
  
The day after- heartbreak  
  
Buffy woke with a start realizing that her alarm clock had been blearing out the most annoying song for at least 10 mins. She had thought that maybe it was all a dream and Angel was right next door waiting to take her to school. Wrong. The moving trucks had already pulled in as she glanced out her window and onto Angel's. She didn't mean to be looking but once again he hadn't shut his blinds and Buffy couldn't resist but slightly peer into them out of the corner of her eye. She didn't feel so guilty after seeing a shirtless Angel doing bench presses and light weights. His muscular torso doing that thing she oh so loved so much! Yummy' and that's mine' she thought. Then realized, "It's Thursday, I've got school" Racing through her house grabbing her sung jeans and a black halter and shoving a piece of burnt toast and she was out the door.  
  
Angel was there, waiting for her, Thursday afternoon he would be gone, and the so-called "love of her life" would take her heart with him. He walked over meeting her halfway and gave her that sideways smile she loved.  
  
"Hey there!" She said, trying not to end up in an awkward position.  
  
" So are we going as boyfriend and girlfriend today?" HE smirked and she smiled because he remembered it would only be for one day but he wanted.  
  
"OK hold up, I am fourteen and will be seen smooching the most popular jock in the school, somehow I think that will hurt my reputation I just don't now" She laughed and looked at Angel's puzzled face. " Duh, I would love to" Leaving across her on the sidewalk he kissed went to kiss her on the mouth but quickly changed to cheek as he saw that he had spectators watching him such as his mother, and siblings.  
  
"Oh crap! Angel we gotta go! We are really late and Snyder will have me good this time." She darted a bit and Angel started to keep up.  
  
As the two got to the school, the yard was empty and everyone were in their classes.  
  
"Oops I guess we lost track of time?" She said innocently.  
  
" I'll see you after first period," Kissing her once more. " And Buffy." waiting for her to turn around, "I love you."  
  
" I love you to. And this breaking up you make it really hard to do." Buffy headed inside with the feeling of completeness!" She raced through the halls and came to a halt at her first literature class, as this was her first week in highschool. As she opened the door the student looked up and her teacher began to lecture her,  
  
"Buffy Summers to what do we owe the pleasure?" Her teacher tutted and waited for a response.  
  
" I couldn't find the class." She said casually knowing that there was a huge LIT sign on the door.  
  
" Very well take a seat next to Willow and we can begin." She started up again, " Romeo and Juliet are star crossed lovers, and their love seems to never be able to work because of all these outside obstacles."  
  
" Tell me about it," She quickly realized she said that outside, when her teacher asked,  
  
" Buff do you have something to share with the call,"  
  
"Nope no sharing, Nothing here." She rolled her eyes a bit then straightened up this was going to be a long period and she already wasn't making friends.  
----After first period------------  
  
"Hi Buffy, I'm Willow, I was in your Lit class?"  
  
" Oh right hi, so you saw my little slip up?" She went a bit red.  
  
" Oh that's out buffster, do you mind if I call you buffster? A wide- eyed boy was no next to her.  
  
" Um no that's fine but who are you?" She asked feeling a bit "surrounded"  
  
" He's Xander my best friend, we saw you in class and were wondering if you wanted you know eat together?"  
  
" Well actual I can't cause I am meeting." She trailed off her sentence and glared at one guy in the cafeteria surrounded by girls hugging him farewell, and one, Cordelia sitting on his lap. Ugh, gag me why don't you. So when it all comes down to it, Angel's still Angel. "I love you' my ass. She looked extremely hurt but just turned back to Willow.  
  
" Do you know him?" Xander asked.  
  
"No, no I don't and that person I was meeting flaked so sure I would love to sit with you guys!"  
  
Their eyes sort of light up but Buffy didn't credit it to her appearance but to the sun glaring in their eyes. As she sat down all she could do was watch angel charming the girls and Cordelia all over him. As looked over here remembering our so-called "lunch-date" I fiercely looked away. He started to come over hear but was tied down when Cordelia stopped in front of him and actually kissed him. No She did not!' Buffy thought her face was getting red by the minute. Willow and Xander looked really confused.  
  
" Buffy are you alright?" Willow asked.  
  
" Fine just fine! Do you guys want to go to the bronze tonight? And Willow bring a date."  
  
" Yeah sure but who is your date?" Willow asked  
  
" Xander!" She smirked and smiled, Xander almost fell off his chair and began smiling!  
  
Willow and Buffy chuckled a bit at Xander's reaction and all agreed to meet at the bronze at 7:00, Buffy also knew that Angel's goodbye party was being held there which made her revenge oh too perfect!!  
  
Buffy strolled past angel trying to look she had never seen him, holding Xander's hand. Angel looked up, "She was pissed" he thought but she had a reason to be as he realized Cordelia smothering him. She didn't look back, but who was that Nancy boy's hand she was holding. IT was probably nothing he shrugged it off.  
  
After school Buffy went straight home and closed her blinds and unplugged her phone making it clear she didn't want any contact with him. When Angel walked into his room convinced that he could communicate with her through the windows he knew was in the dog house big time. He started to mutter to himself, " How could I have been so stupid and spent my day with those groupies, but I had to I want to go out with a bang for my reputation I know bad judgement ergg!" He realized that no girl had ever twisted him like she had.  
  
Buffy was in her room after her brief shower deciding what to wear. I had to be..Sexy but played down a but because she actually want to get out the front door. Due to her very small bust size she need something flattering and a padded bra. Er.ye that would to be okay. In the end she had chosen her parasouco tight dark denim jeans that highlighted all the right parts on her legs, and a red silky halter that ad three strings across her back, the rest of her back was bare. And then her normal black pumps, that so went with jeans. She felt like a Mary J. Blige with her heals and jeans. She smiled to her and walked out of the door, Angel however hadn't left yet so she walked over to Willow's house, to help her dress up. When she got their Willow was in a knitted sweater and straight cut jeans. Buffy shook her head and pulled her into the closet. In the end she dressed Willow in a quite black dress that wasn't to revealing because Willow was just that way. When the guys arrived, Oz and Xander, their mouths dropped.  
  
" Buffy you look." Xander stuttered.  
  
" Hot?" Buffy chuckled,  
  
" Uh yeah!" He just stared.  
  
" So are we going to have a staring contest or are we going to dance?" Buffy was always good with the quick come backs it amazed her friends.  
  
They all left for the Bronze and sat at a table. Buffy just gazed at the door to find Angel step in, in his blue jeans, and leather jacket. HE looked killer tonight.' She thought to herself. She turned away when she saw his entourage of popular girls' swarm around him. He spotted Buffy and just stopped, She was erm..Hott like super wanna gotta have, hott. He had never seen her like that she was just Buffy to him, but with her bar back showing it's delicate curves, he wanted to be the one next to her holding her. And those jeans, let's just say, they were really tight. Damn. He thought. He went to walk over to her but Harmony stood up and asked him to dance. Buffy saw this and dragged Xander onto the dance floor, It was a fast song so it wasn't very touchy but Harm was just circling Angel while Buffy Turned around and danced crazy! It was fun but not very impressive to make Angel jealous so she walked off, until a slow song would come on. Angel walked over when a slow song did play and began to ask her to dance but before he could Buffy asked Xander and the two led onto the dance floor.  
  
Buffy's hand's embraced Xander rubbing his back and he did the same running up and down her spine Angel cringed. IF he hurts her I will kill him! He thought as he and Harm danced. That was supposed to be him and her but because of his stupidity she was in the arms of another.man.no boy. After everybody started to go home Buffy stayed back as did Angel for one last song. Angel Turned to her and began to speak but Buffy stopped him.  
  
" I am sorry I danced with Xander like that, but it won't excuse for what you did to me. You stood me up and stayed with those groupies instead of me. It hurt." She looked down.  
  
" Oh god buffy I am so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking and then I saw you and I realized I was stupid."  
  
" That's great but a little late." She stated. Knowing she might be giving up to soon  
  
" I will still wait for you buffy and I will come back,"  
  
" Have fun in L.A. Angel." Buffy looked at him as a song came on,  
  
I quit- hepburn  
  
There was a time when I would Go walking backwards round the world if you said you're mine  
  
And I'd run blindfolded down the King's Road Monday morning  
  
If you just for once arrived on time  
  
But you turned into another liar  
  
And you came on like a new Messiah  
  
So before you say what you desire  
  
I'm telling you now  
  
Chorus :  
  
I quit, I quit  
  
'Cos loving you's a job I don't just need  
  
Ain't gonna go to work no more  
  
I quit, I quit  
  
The situations vacant for me  
  
Ain't gonna go to work no more  
  
Ain't gonna go to work no more, ain't gonna go to work  
  
I got my hands dirty while you rolled cigarettes  
  
With one eye on the time  
  
I tried my hardest  
  
I've been conscientious  
  
But I'm taking back that heart of mine  
  
You can't roll me round your tongue no more baby  
  
It's time to clear up your emotional debris  
  
And if I'm falling overboard, please don't save me  
  
'Cos I'm telling you now  
  
[Chorus]  
  
Na da dai dai dai da-dai, da da dai dai dai  
  
Baby, na da dai dai dai  
  
If you'd like to say you're sorry  
  
You're just like every other lover  
  
A shot rings out and you go running for cover  
  
And I'm sorry I can't be your mother  
  
And I'm telling you now  
  
[Chorus]  
  
I quit, I quit  
  
Na da dai dai dai  
  
I quit, I quit  
  
Na da dai dai dai  
  
I quit, I quit  
  
Na da dai dai dai  
  
Ain't gonna go to work no more  
  
Ain't gonna go to work no more  
  
Ain't gonna go to work  
  
Buffy turned and walked away throwing down the friendship ring angel gave her when they were kids. It was a mood ring and attached to a chain because it was too small for her fingers now. He went to pick it up and turned it over slightly. The ring was blue, According to all he had read, she was obviously, sad. Angel left the next morning taking the ring and her heart with him. He looked up at Buffy's house, Buffy staring out of the window crying, " I love you," he mouthed. " I love you too." He smiled and turned away but before he could she ran out of the house tears streaming down her face and jumped into Angel's arms. Giving him the hug of a lifetime. She whispered into his ear, " I'll never forget you love you Angel O'connor." She kissed her and draped his leather jacket over her shoulders. " Never" he said and turned into the car. The two soul mates being ripped apart by distance. "Never." She mumbled ad her mother came to collect her.  
  
That was the last time she saw Angel O'Connor. It was now a week until her sixteenth birthday and so much had changed. She was the popular cheerleader, with sidekick friends Xander and Willow, She had finally grown into a woman. Her hair was layered and her skin a but tanned, she was still as short as ever, but was knocked up a few scales on the bust scale. She was perfectly happy. She had even almost forgotten Angel's promise to return. She had a boyfriend, Riely and her mom gave birth to a little girl named Dawn. Little did she know that the return of Angel wouldn't be the only thing to rock her world. 


	3. Prezzies, Angel and condoms

Chapter 4- Prezzies, Angel and condoms  
  
Buffy raced through the halls, trying to catch up with Xander and Willow, lately she was a different girl. She was constantly happy, always focused and had the all- around perfect life to the juniors and seniors at the school. She stopped as she noticed that Willow was talking about a party. A small curve of a smile came across her lips. She backed away slightly as to warn them before she overheard any surprise plans.  
  
" So guys who's birthday were you talking about? Should I buy prezzies?" She looked innocent then couldn't resist but laugh.  
  
" Oh I dono it's nothing big," Xander shrugged.  
  
"I she isn't really worth it," commented Willow.  
  
Buffy gave them a sour look," You guys better be joking because I expect a killer party!" She joked when two warm hands came behind her back and embraced her. Awww.' she thought. It was Riley her new beau, he was a senior goody-goody but damn fine. She smiled at her prized trophy!  
  
" Hey Riley, and what do we owe the pleasure of your presence?" Buffy glanced at him scanning his broad shoulders and wide smile. He sure was eye candy but nothing compared to the trademark Angel left on this school. Even though he moved away people still carried out his memory. It was kinda sad kinda nice. Oh God, Angel. She got this brilliant smile and all of a sudden she was glowing.  
  
" Wow, I never knew you were so happy to see me!" Riley smiled. He would think that too. Buffy crossed her arms. He is slightly um..daft? Angel might have been cryptic and mysterious but he was deep and wow was he hott.. She awoke startled to see Xander's hand scanning her face.  
  
" Hello earth to Buffy?"Xander just seemed surprised that she spaced.  
  
" Oh sorry guys, Dawn's been keeping me up. She likes to sleep in my room and you know how that can be. Oh god I can't wait for my birthday." She just sighed and went into a dream state again.  
  
"What's up with her?" Xander looked slightly alarmed.  
  
" Oh maybe a certain someone is on her mind." Willow smiled devilishly.  
  
"Willow!" Buffy gave her those penetrating eyes indicating to shut her mouth. When Willow and her got really close back when she was 14 a couple months after Angel left she had to vent out her frustration to someone and trusted Willow with her secret love to this day. Willow just went all smiles and made sounds of understanding.  
  
After first period her and her friends reconvened for lunch in the Cafeteria. Riley came like he usually did and sat next to her. He put his huge oaf of an arm around her sorta weighing her down. Buffy sent signals to Willow of discomfort so Willow quickly piped up and stated, "So Riley can you erm help me uhh.. read this..yes that's it..i forgot my glasses." She smiled stupidly and Buffy mouthed a thank you as Riley moved to the other side of the table. Her and Riley didn't really "click" She was the "it" girl and he was, "Riley" all muscles no brains. She was deep and he was a flake. Hopefully when, or if Angel kept his promise she could ditch him, softly and join the arms of her true lover. Angel O'Connor. After Angel left that horrible Thursday, Buffy made book of them and the last page was called "future" with doodles of "Mrs. Buffy O'Connor" all over them, but what she didn't know was that maybe Angel had changed? Maybe he was..different. It had been two years.  
  
When Buffy got home she noticed her new neighbor of two weeks had already refurbished Angel's old house. It seemed colder, less of a family more of..well.a man. And that was who it was. His name was Rupert Giles, a British man who moved from England for his work in America. He is a Liberian. That's what baffled me, ok why would he have to move from England to America I doubt we have more libraries. Buffy sorta chuckled at the thought, of it when her mom came racing down the stairs.  
  
"Buffy! Buffy!" Her mom wailed from the top of the stairs.  
  
"Mom you don't have to yell I am right here!" Buffy put her hands on her hips.  
  
"Ok ok sweetie I was wondering if you could watch Dawn I have a date."  
  
"Ew." It escaped from her mouth she really hadn't wanted it to sound like that. Her dad split after Dawn's first birthday.  
  
" Oh come on, just because I am a mom doesn't mean my life is over Buffy!"  
  
"Sorry mom that came out wrong.Um yeah sure why not! But before you go don't forget to use condoms!" Buffy hollered. Her mother almost fell down the stairs. She loved teasing her.  
  
"Oh sweetie don't worry I already bought some they are in my purse!" Buffy's eyes bulged. Joyce laughed, "Ha see the old cat still has a few jokes in her to counter act yours!"  
  
"MOM DON'T DO THAT" Buffy shuddered a bit. Old people making out was not a healthy image for her. " Alrite where is Dawn, that little rugrat moves like crazy!"  
  
" The restaurant's number is on the fridge same with my cell and his pager so if you need to contact me do so!" Joyce was about to leave when Buffy stopped her.  
  
" Do you want a code word?" Buffy stated.  
  
"A code word? For what?" Joyce looked confused.  
  
"Don't play dumb with me mom you know what I mean. Incase it's really bad." Joyce burst out laughing. The things kid's come up with these days!  
  
"NO that's fine, now go find Dawn! Goodbye sweetie!" 


	4. You call yourself normal?

Chapter 5-You call yourself normal?  
  
Buffy trudged around the house only to find Dawn shoving her head in the washer. She sighed and laughed a bit. "Dawn, you silly goose, what are you doing?"  
  
She looked up with those bright green eyes and simply said, "Dawnie dirrrty, need washy!" She stamped her foot when Buffy scooped her now 2 yr. old sister. "Fine have it your way you can have a bath with bubbles and lamb chops and Mr.soap!" Her sister's eyes lit up. Buffy had to use those names to get her interested in having a bath otherwise she would kick and scream. Carrying Dawn up the stairs she stopped slightly looking over he shoulder to see that there was some one at the door. Buffy put Dawn down on the couch and walked to the door. She opened it and to her surprise it was her neighbour, Rupert.  
  
" Hello Buffy, I am Rupert Giles, but you can just call me Giles. I need to talk to you about some things." HE was nervous and stuttered a lot. Whenever he talked he looked down sometimes to fiddle with his glasses in hand.  
  
"Yes, certainly come on in!" Buffy didn't know if she should be letting a man into her house but it was just her neighbor so she ushered him in.  
  
" Don't worry Buffy I told your mother I would be checking up on you two to see how things are going." He said.  
  
" Well things are peachy over here! But if you would like to talk I think I should but Dawnie to bed." She looked down at a sleepy Dawn.  
  
"What about bathy?" Dawn was sleepy but wanted to play with mr.bubbles. " Maybe tomorrow Dawnie! I will be right back Mr.Giles." He nodded and she rushed up the stairs and into Dawns room tucking her and rushing downstairs once again.  
  
"Ok what did you want to talk about?" She really had no clue why he had stopped by except to check on her and Dawn.  
  
"Buffy I am hear to discuss your future." What was this guy talking about? Maybe he has been reading too much.  
  
" Um sorry but did I hear you right because I don't know what my mother has been telling you but I don't want to go in to Library stuff!"  
  
" Buffy I know this seems very confusing but you have to hear me out. I am not a librarian. "  
  
" Well then what the hell are you!" She was getting worried what he was there to hurt Dawn and her this wasn't good.  
  
"Buffy I am a watcher for the watcher's council, your watcher."  
  
"My what???" What the hell has this guy been smoking?  
  
"Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires... with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil and to right wrong. Buffy you are the slayer and I am here to guide you." He looked at her expecting her to believe him.  
  
"Ok are you sure you don't belong in a loonie bin?" Buffy was totally getting the wiggins,  
  
"This is serious young lady I know it's a lot to take in but you must. Have you notice any kinda super strength agility or martial arts skills?"  
  
"Well I am the best cheerleader, but I thought that it was just skill not a birth right? Wait did you say vampires?" Whoa this guy was totally off his rocker maybe she should call 9-1-1. After a long explanation Buffy understood her fate as a slayer. It was still totally absurd but it made sense. She felt and could realize that her life had just changed forever.  
  
"One week to my birthday and I am already a freak. It figures thought I always did have impeccable timing!" She rolled her eyes sarcastically. By Thursday she had already staked 22 vampires and was coping with the new information. It was sorta convenient that Giles lived next door incase of an emergency. Her mother was too busy to realize something was different about Buffy because she was busy birthday shopping and Buffy was busy trying to look her best for angel. Come Saturday, they would be reunited and she wanted to make a killer entrance.  
  
Buffy paced around in the graveyard applying a facemask while on the lookout for demons. Suddenly she passed by one of her fellow student's graves and to her dismay the vamp like figure appeared to be..no it couldn't be.I didn't love him but I cared for him.those bastards.Riley stepped out of his grave.She had been too busy to notice he was even gone. That's what slaying did to her it distracted her, she hadn't been to the bronze in ages.  
  
" Oh come on baby aren't we going to tango?" Buffy smiled that wide smile he did.  
  
" You aren't Riley you are just a monster." She got into a fighting stance.  
  
" I suppose you aren't dressing up for me so who have you been cheating on me with huh slut?" Buffy wiped away tears.  
  
" Never call me that again." She kicked the demon square in the jaw.  
  
"Slut" he whispered. She swung around and staked his chest. As it happened his face turned human and the human remains of Riley showed through. It shocked and disgusted her. She killed him and watched it. She ran to her room and locked herself in. It was the most devastating thing she had every laid eyes on. Her friends tried to ask her what was wrong besides the obvious human death of Riley and she shrugged saying that his death was a lot to take not conveying her slayer story because she had to carry this secret as some burden.  
  
Friday came and went. It rained, I slept, I ate, and Riley will never do those things again. She cried that night forgetting that the next morning would be her sixteenth birthday. When Angel would come she would have to tell him her secret, She had too he was her best friend and lover, and it was becoming to hard to just carry it on by herself. How would he react that his once normal girlfriend is a slayer. Maybe we could be normal like before. She went into a dream like state and heard the echoing words of angel's voice," You call yourself normal?" His words were harsh and mean tearing into her soul like a knife. What am I kidding, I'll never be the one thing I didn't want to be "just normal" 


	5. All's well that ends well!

Chapter 6- All is well that ends well  
  
Buffy was in the bathroom doing her regular "operation beautify Buffy" She washed her hair and was in the stages of drying and styling it to her current cut. She swept the eyeliner under her eye and looked in the mirror. The girl, woman, staring back at her was a stranger, she was cold and empty, tired and emotional, sweet and sexy, but most of all just different. Dawn crawled into the bathroom and Buffy managed to prop her up on the toilet seat. She grabbed hold of Buffy's lipstick and started to smear it on her face.  
  
"Dawnie pretty like Buffy." Dawn stretched her hand out giving Buffy back the now broken lipstick. Buffy laughed a bit then washed Dawn's face. At least with her slayer strength she could always protect her from the big nasties of the world. She changed into a cute sundress her mother bought her for her birthday. She picked up Dawn and headed downstairs.  
  
" Oh, Buffy sweetheart you look just darling in that dress. Here let me take a picture of you and Dawn together. Say cheese" Buffy smiled as Dawn wriggled on her belly.  
  
"Buffy I made you your favorite, Peanut butter, I cream and banana's for breakfast and but don't worry if we aren't doing much too night. I just hope you won't be disappointed." Mom really sucked at lying.  
  
"Right. Mom don't make a big fuss ok I am just sixteen nothing special" as she started to think, for a slayer it probably was special. She rolled her eyes and fiddled with the food on her plate. She hoped Giles wouldn't make her patrol that night. Grabbing her napsack she left for Giles's house. Every morning he drives her to school to discuss her slayer duties and to work at the highschool in the library.  
  
"So Buffy I thougt you could train after first period than go on patrol tonight." Buffy groaned a bit.  
"Giles, do I have to?" She asked.  
  
"What's so important about today?" HE looked somewhat puzzeled.  
  
" Hello Giles' it's my birthday, sweet sixteen ring a bell?" She was frustrated.  
  
"Oh yes yes right, o well Buffy duty calls."  
  
"But..ah..erg!!!!!!!!!!!" She got out of the car and slammed the door.  
  
"Hey buffster happy birthday!" Xander greeted her.  
  
"Thanks Xander I am glad someone noticed!" She gave him a half smile than walked on.  
  
After first period Buffy went to train with Giles. She was definitly in to shape. Suddenly unsuspected Xander and Willow walked in to catch Buffy hurdling at poor Giles.  
  
"Buffy stop what are you doing?" Will proclaimed looking really disturbed.  
  
Buffy stopped in mid air realizing what it most have looked like. "Um ..Giles and I were just.um he was teaching me martial arts." Buffy smoothed out her hair and looked at Giles for back-up. "Ah yes quite right I am a master of Martial arts and I help Buffy at lunch to do her work-outs." Xander and Willow didn't seem quit convinced but let it slide.  
  
" Alright well Buffy are you ready to come to lunch?" Willow asked kinda watching her as if Buffy would tell her what's really behind her eye catching moves.  
  
"Uh yeah right well later Giles!" Buffy grabbed her coat and ran off.  
  
"So You and Giles getting hot and sweaty who would have guessed?" Smirked Xander checking her out.  
  
"Ugh, gross, bad bad image. Xander that is so gross how can you think like that, it's like doing it with your dad!" Buffy sorta stuck out her tongue signaling puke. Xander shuddered, the picture of his dad naked was enough to make him sick.  
  
"Fair enough!"  
  
"I dono I think Giles is kinda sexy in a bookish sorta way" Both Buffy and Xander stared at Willow.  
  
"Only you would think that way Will." Xander looked away and Buffy rolled her eyes. She would have a discussion with Willow later about expressing her "intimate" thoughts.  
  
"So I'll see you at your house tonight Buffy?" Willow asked. She paused, Buffy didn't seem all there, lately she was absent, maybe it was family issues but something was up. "Wait Buffy can I talk to you?" She grabbed Buffy's arm before she could leave. "Yeah what's up?" Buffy asked casually. "That's what I wanted to ask you." Buffy sighed, "Nothing I am fine Will, I am 16 things are.great." Willow paused. "You don't sound very enthusiastic? Don't forget Angel's coming home tonight." Buffy smiled a bit. "You're right I have something to look foreword to!" "Like what, a smooching fest?" Buffy let a long laugh roll of her tongue, "Mais oui!" Willow groaned, "Right we have French!" The two girls left the cafeteria to finish the rest of the day.  
  
Buffy got home and to her dismay her mother was already decorating the living room for her party. She ran upstairs and started to fix her hair. If Angel was coming she wanted to look appropriate. She put a slinky cotton white dress from AE that her father had sent her. It was really cute and made her have an innocence to her. She applied little make-up and hopped down the stairs.  
  
"Buffy you look adorable," Buffy blushed a bit and thanked her mom. " You grow up so fast!"  
  
"Mom!! Stop!" Buffy was getting a bit annoyed with this big step to womanhood. I mean she was a woman when she was 13, that was something her and Angel couldn't share but she remembers him asking her about, as if he cared, I think he just wanted to get the scoop. Anyway, it wasn't minutes till Xander, Willow, Giles, and Dawnie burst in the room with their presents.  
  
Xander shouted from the bottom of the stairs, " The fun has arrived!"  
  
Buffy cracked into a smile, " yea yea Xander!"  
  
"Wow, Buffy you look great!" Xander smiled and looked up and down.  
  
"Xander a little less scanning and a little more walking! You are blocking the door." Buffy chuckled.  
  
"Right! Sorry bout that Will." Xander shifted, and they all sat down in Buffy's living room. They all sat down and Buffy grabbed Dawn by the waist and hoisted her up on her lap!  
  
"Prezzies!" Dawn clapped. Buffy took the package Willow held out to her.  
  
Buffy took it delicately and began to unwrap it. Inside there was a photo album of her Xander and Will, Throughout all the years with captions underneath as well. There was also a small silver bracelet that said, "Buffy, willow, Xander" and on the back it read, "The trio forever" Buffy had tears in her eyes. It was true that the three of them were extremely close neither could take the place of Angel but they were pretty damn close.  
  
Buffy got up and hugged Willow. "Thank you willow that was..beautiful."  
  
"Oh oh me next" Xander shoved a parcel into her hands.  
  
Again Buffy carefully unwrapped what seemed to be a nice new fitted leather jacket.  
  
" I saw you wearing that big one all the time, so I decided to buy you one that actually fit!" Xander looked for reassurance of her liking the gift.  
  
"Xander it's so cool! God thank you!" Buffy also hugged him. Next was Giles his was a day planner! I know what that's for, slayer meetings. I hugged him anyways. Then it was Mom's and Dawnie's. They both handed me a very small enveloppe.  
  
"For a wonderful big sister and a beautiful daughter and woman, we love you with all our hearts and we value your life as if it was our own have a wonderful birthday our darling Buffy. Mom and Dawn.  
  
That was enough to bring tears to Buffy's eyes. Inside was a quilt with the families' pictures on it and a check for 200$. Buffy's mouth dropped. She embraced the blanket and hugged them both.  
  
" Thank-you, Thank-you this was the best Birthday." She peered at the clock, it was 10; 00 and still no Angel!  
  
" Well I better wrap this up! Thank-you everyone, I love all of you!" Buffy left the room and headed upstairs. She had waited long enough for Angel and decided that he wasn't going to show, so she left to attend to her slaying duties.  
  
Things were really slow that night. Dusted a couple vamps but nothing interesting so she decided to pack it in. Ad dhe climbed the tree outside her window she heard noises from her room, with a stake at hand she approached the window to find a man in her bedroom, or maybe it was a vampire! Impossible she would have to invite them in! She walked up to his back and pressed the stake to the back of his neck.  
  
" Freeze bastard and tell me what the hell you are doing in my room?" As the man slowly turned around it took her a second to realize who it was. "Angel??" He was taller, much taller, he looked like a man.  
  
He stared at her, catching his breath, she was out of the big flannel pjs and into tight leather.yummy! She was definitly a woman now and he loved it.  
  
"And where have you been Missy you aren't the little girl I left here now are you? And using the window? I would think you'd use your own door unless you've gone to naughty from nice" He flicked his finger on her nose. He loved teasing her and making her squirm  
  
" Oh god angel!" He opened his arms up and she ran into them thery could wrap around her body fully now. She was so happy she started to cry.  
  
" I've missed you so much. You've missed so much." She went tighter to his chest.  
  
"I realised that." Picking upt he photo of baby Dawn. "Is she yours??"He looked insecure.  
  
"Oh yeah definitly" She smirked. His face dropped. " She is my sister Dawn. See how much you miss?" Angel laughed at himself.  
  
" Oh God Buffy you are.Beautiful!" He twirled her around!  
  
"Why thank you kindly sir. You aren't too bad yourself!" She came closer and closer to him.  
  
" You know you've gotten really sexy lately."  
  
"You have no idea." She came closer and kissed him on the mouth.  
  
" I am so happy to be back, but I I have no where to stay Buffy?" Angel looked downward.  
  
" I haven't changed that much I don't let boys go that far on the first date!" She laughed and realized he was embarrassed.  
  
" Angel don't worry how many sleepovers have had in a lifetime?"  
  
"Millions!" he replied  
  
"So I see no problem in you sharing my bed as long as you keep your paws off!" She smirked  
  
"It'll be hard but I can do that!" He climbed into the bed fully dressed while buff brushed her hair and changed in the bathroom. She then wriggled in, Angel pulled her into an embrace where they lied side by side.  
  
" Happy birthday Buffy Summers." He handed her a ring.  
  
" What's this?" She looked at the small golden band and the little white rock.  
  
" It's a promise ring!" he stated  
  
" And what's that for?" She smiled.  
  
"It's a commitment, that one day when you come of age I will ask you to be with me forever."  
  
"I like that idea. All is well that ends Well" She smiled and put her head down on her chest. Well at least till tomorrow! 


	6. When it all comes crashing down

Chapter 7-First date  
  
"Howdy there!" Buffy woke up with a start, rolling in a mass of covers.  
  
" How long have you been awake?" Buffy rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming.  
  
"Long enough to know you snore!" He chuckled and Buffy threw a pillow at him. "Joking, joking you are beautiful when you sleep!" he smiled brushing strands of hair from her face.  
  
"Thank-you! So, Angel what dark little secrets are you hiding from me. Anything I should know that happened in the two years we have been apart?" She rolled over to look at him.  
  
" No, not really, I did have on girlfriend but nothing serious, I'm sorry I didn't write but I couldn't it was.."  
  
"Hard? Yeah I know. Don't think I couldn't have called. I have a confession to make, I also had a boyfriend. His name was Riley and we were pretty tight." Sh elooked t him he looked fiery jealous.  
  
" Are you still with him?" He asked hastily.  
  
" No. He died." She said remembering the horrible night her stake plunged into his dead heart.  
  
"Oh my gosh I am so sorry Buffy" HE came over to comfort her.  
  
"It's alright I dealt. No we never really had an official first date have we?"  
  
"No we ere never any good at that," Angel laughed, their first date was ruined by his ego and Cordelia.  
  
"So are we bronzing tonight?" Buffy asked questioningly.  
  
"Yes that sounds good. In the mean time is there a place I could crash?" Angel looked around not expecting to stay in her bed once again.  
  
" Oh yeah in your house, my uncle Giles bought the house next door and wouldn't mind company so you could stay if you want to?" Giles wasn't her uncle but he would understand. He always did.  
  
"Great! Buffy I love you!" She smiled he headed for the window and stopped him.  
  
" You can use the door Angel"  
  
"Sorry bad habbit!" He shrugged and headed for the door!  
  
"Angel is that you, my you have changed!" Joyce was downstairs.  
  
Shit! Buffy thought!  
  
"Thank you Joyce it's nice to see you and Buffy again."  
  
" I am sure it is" She smiled at Buffy and Buffy blushed ushering Angel out the door.  
  
" I will see you later, Bye Angel, I love you!" She tugged his arm and kissed him on the mouth!  
  
" Goodbye darling!"  
  
After he left Buffy gave her mom a "don't start" kinda look and she headed up the stairs to phone Willow. Her and Willow were on the phone, which seemed to be hours. Talking about the way he looked, talked, slept like! IT was a definite girl chat.  
  
" He is so damn fine Willow I mean Yummy Scrumboes!"  
  
" And srummy yomboes?" Willow asked in excitement.  
  
" Oh yeah!" The two giggled until they were red in the face.  
  
" Oh I gotta go start prepping for the bronze tonight! Bye Will." She hung up the phone and paced around her room suddenly feeling queasy. She ran to the bathroom and vomited. Ugh gross. Oh no she couldn't be sick. She vowed that nothing would get in the way of her date with Angel so she freshened up and tried not to think about her stomach.  
  
She chose Her red leather pants and black halter and the jacket, bracelet and ring that she received for her birthday. Treasuring the ring with all she had. She swung by Giles' to pick up Angel. He was looking very very nice! Also in a leather duster. They walked arm in arm into the bronze. She felt like every girl envied her and vice versa!  
  
"Ooo, Buffy! Over here!" Willow waved. Buffy and angel followed.  
  
"Hey guys this is my bestfriend I mean boyfriend, (she smiled) Angel!"  
  
"Hey Angel I am Xander and this is Willow!"  
  
"Hey! So you are buffy's trio! Nice meeting you!"  
  
" ooh Angel good song you want to dance?"  
  
" With you! Forever!" She took him to the dance floor where she did a little sexy dance to the slow music around him.  
  
"Man that guy is lucky!" Xander stated.  
  
Watching Buffy and Angel was like being in a sappy romance film. As Angel and Buffy danced slowly Suddenly Buffy collapsed in his arms, hanging limply in his arms. At first Angel thought she was just doing a move but when she didn't wake up after several times of trying to resuscitate her he knew something was wrong. The Dance floor was cleared off so she had rooom to breathe. Angel came to Willow and Xander with her in his arms.  
  
" call an ambulance she isn't waking up" The look on Angel's face was more powerful than words. Something was terribly wrong. 


	7. In the bedroom

In the Bedroom  
  
The silence of the people surrounding Buffy was broken buy the high pitch yells of the ambulance sirens. Angel rushed out the door, Buffy still unconscious in his arms. His heart was beating a 1000 miles a minute, worried, confused, and shocked at what went down at the Bronze. Suddenly Angel's self examination was interrupted by two paramedics coming his way.  
  
"Sir, we need to get the girl to the hospital, can you please hand us the girl sir!" Angel was in a trance, not knowing if this was all just a cruel joke. Then Xander's hand clasped his shoulder.  
  
"C'mon man, you have to give them Buffy or she could die, please Angel let her go!" Xander didn't know how to approach the situation.  
  
"What if she wakes up and I am not there.. or worse what if she doesn't!" Angel quickly forced Buffy's petite body into their arms and hopped in the ambulance. Several hospital attendants were trying to get him out of the ambulance so that they would have room to work on her but Angel O'Connor didn't budge, he was abandoning his future wife.again.  
  
Willow gently rested her arm on the paramedic, " Please let him stay, that's Buffy's family, he is her best friend and boyfriend. Please just let him stay."  
  
"All right miss we will let him stay but you too have to ride in your own cars there is no more room in the ambulance!" Willow shook her head in compliance and grabbed Xander by the arm leading him to the car. The ride was quiet. Too quiet for Willow. She knew this wasn't something you put balloons up for and dance around but she had to lighten the mood somehow.  
  
"Buffy would freak if she had seen herself with no make-up on!" Willow chuckleed uneasily waiting for Xander to reply.  
  
"That wasn't funny Willow don't do that again please." Xander's face was straight and emotionless. I guess this hit the guys more than it hit here. She felt guilty for that.  
  
Willow started to whimper a bit, "Xander I am so sorry, I know it was stupid but I have never felt like this before, I feel nervous and shaky like everything is wrong and I can't fix it with my books! And Buffy was finally getting everything and she now this! I can't take this Xander, I am 16 I am not supposed to have to deal with death."  
  
"Willow oh God Willow I am sorry," He pulled her into an embrace as she pulled over onto a side road. "Will I know how you feel, it's tearing me up inside. But Buffy isn't dead, we don't know what is wrong with her but there is still hope right?" He needed assurance from the smartest girl at school to believe it.  
  
"Right." She straightened up and drew her pink fuzzy sleeve to wipe away the tears. "I guess we should be there for Buffy when she wakes up?"  
  
"Good idea!" Xander hugged Willow one last time and Willow pulled onto the road. Full speed ahead to Sunnydale hospital.  
  
When they got to the hospital Angel was in the waiting room, hugging Joyce in a tight firm hug and Dawnie was sitting on his lap looking at her mother cry a bit. Angel tried to be their rock but cracked and began to cry too. Willow rushed over thinking she could take over for Angel, letting Joyce cry on her shoulder. Xander scooped up Dawn, and looked at Angel for answers. But from his eyes, there were none. Suddenly the doctor stepped out of room 103 and headed in their direction. Angel was the first to reach him but not first to here the new.  
  
"Buffy is fine, she will have to stay here over night and the rest is up to you joyce. Right now she is resting and we are not permitting visitors until tomorrow so I suggest you all go home. Joyce I need a word with you. Alone." Joyce looked confused, Angel held her by the shoulder.  
  
"Mrs.Summers Dawn come to my house I will look after her with mr.Giles." He said understanding.  
  
"Thank-you Angel and if anything happens I will update you!" With the nod of his head, he picked up a sleeping Dawn and walked slowly out the exit door.  
  
"This way Mrs.Summers." The doctor led her into Buffy's room where Buffy started to wake up. Joyce Ran to her side stroking her hair and smiling that she was all right.  
  
"Mommy? Where am I? What happened? Where is Angel?" Buffy looked confused and tried to sit up but was too weak to do so, so she flopped back down with the help of her mother.  
  
"Buffy," The doctor sounded serious, " Do you remember anything that happened tonight and before you went out?"  
  
Buffy looked up and nodded, " Yes, I, I, remember I was getting ready for my date with Angel," Her mother smiled, "Yes mom, we are dating now!" Her mother grinned at her, she suspected as much. "Anyways, I remember I was feeling sick, I vomited before I left and felt a bit dizzy but was fine the whole night. Why? What's wrong with me?"  
  
The doctor looked regrettively in her young eyes, " Buffy I don't know how to tell you this.." But was suddenly interrupted by Joyce.  
  
"Buffy are you pregnant? Tell me the truth? Morning sickness vomiting! Buffy tell me right now!"  
  
"Mom I.." But the doctor once again interrupted her.  
  
"Mrs. Summers your daughter has terminal cancer, she has had for at least a week now and it's continuing to grow, its usually due to stress, and often hereditary there is not much of a chance that she will live, 3 months tops. I am sorry truly. I will leave you too alone." He blurted it all out and didn't look back Buffy always wondered how they could tell people they were dying with little to no emotions. And now she was one of them, the patients that got tossed aside that were too impossible. Things that only happened to other people and not me. Those are the lies I told myself.  
  
Joyce crumpled down on the floor, weeping, Buffy just stared at the wall concentrating on one tile afraid to breakdown if she thought about her life with her friends, family and Angel. It wasn't too long till she finally drifted to sleep and the next morning would discuss her very short future. Her mother was up watching her sleep. So when she woke up she was startled to see her mother peering over at her as if it was the last time she would ever see her.  
  
" Ak! Mom! What are you doing!" She clung the blanket more tightly to herself.  
  
"Sorry sweetheart, I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Her mother shrugged. She went over that Buffy should live her "remaining days like she always did. Carry on with her normal life. What her mom didn't know was that she wasn't exactly, "normal" Her mother convinced her to tell Willow and Xander but she couldn't convince her to tell Angel she said it would break his heart if she did tell him and it would just be too hard. She was secretly plotting to keep Angel away for his and her benefit. Joyce stepped out of the room and led Willow and Xander into her room keeping Angel Company. At first Angel was a bit hurt that she hadn't wanted to see him first but realized she could be saving the best for last. After Buffy told Will and Xand her news, the trio embraced and shared many tears. Buffy herself couldn't keep it together. Xander was angry and Willow was just shocked. Buffy warned them not to tell Angel despite their desire to convince her otherwise. Before they went out she made them wipe their tears so Angel wouldn't suspect anything.  
  
"Angel it's you turn," Angel smiled a bit and handed Dawn over to Joyce.  
  
"Hey there beautiful," Angel came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Buffy smiled weakly then laughed a bit.  
  
"Oh yeah I am sure seeing my hair all sweaty, and my skin pale without cosmetics is really beautiful, unless you are into that sorta thing," Buffy made a face and Angel laughed. It was still his Buffy in there.  
  
" We aren't much for first dates are we?" Angel asked.  
  
" I suppose we aren't" She smiled knowing she would have to end it soon.  
  
"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Angel was itching to know what was wrong with his beloved.  
  
"It's nothing really some sort of flu. I have been really weak lately."  
  
"Oh your, you know.." Angel just made gestures. He was refereing to the conversation they had when Buffy turned 13 and she got the painters in' code word for becoming a woman!  
  
"No! (she looked embarassed) Just physically tired. It's nothing to worry yourself about." She smiled weakly, oh yes it was. She was the slayer, invincible but in the end it will be the worst demon of all to kill her. Cancer. It wasn't fair that she finally got him and she woud be taken away! She started to cry without realizing it. Angel rushed to her side but she knew she would have to push him away.  
  
"I am fine Angel, something in my eye, you know how it is! I really think you should go to L.A I mean there isn't much here for you and you could do a lot better there" Angel looked at her aghast.  
  
" Where in the hell did that come from?" Buffy looked down. "Angel please I am really tired I need to rest."  
  
"Alrite but there is no way in hell I am leaving you when you feel so crummy." he left dropping a bouquet of white lillies. Her favorite. Buffy looked down at her ring that Angel gave her, she would never get wear the engagement one. She flicked off the lights as Dawn and her mom entered. Dawn crawled into bed with Buffy. That was enough to comfort her thought Buffy, but Angel's kisses would be better.  
  
After the first month Angel came by casually never expecting Buffy to get into their relationship right away. She was moved to her house and only her family and friends knew the truth about her weak state. Angel was always asking her how come she wasn;t better yet but she couldn't tell him it was to hard. That night Buffy sat in her room, it was the night she told Angel she didn't want to see him anymore. He took it roughly, he even smashed a vase and left but what hurt most was what he said. He told her that she had changed she wasn't who he wanted to love anymore and asked for the promise ring back. Buffy cried that night harder than she had every cried in all of her life. She turned on the radio to only make her feel worse when she listened to the lyrics of the song.  
  
Michelle Branch- are you happy now  
  
Now, don't just walk away  
  
Pretending everything's ok  
  
And you don't care about me  
  
And I know there's just no use  
  
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care... yeah, yeah, yeah  
  
Could you look me in the eye  
  
And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh  
  
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
You took all there was to take,  
  
And left me with an empty plate  
  
And you don't care about it, yeah.  
  
And I am givin' up this game  
  
I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care, yeah, yeah yeah,  
  
Could you look me in the eye?  
  
And tell me that you're happy now, oohh oohhh  
  
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,  
  
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah.  
  
Do you really have everything you want?  
  
You could never give somethin' you ain't got  
  
You can't run away from yourself  
  
Could you look me in the eye?  
  
and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah  
  
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,  
  
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh  
  
are you happy now?  
  
Would you look me in the eye?  
  
Could you look me in the eye?  
  
I've had that all I can take  
  
I'm not about to break  
  
Cause I'm happy now, ohhh, ohhh  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
And that's when it came to her. She wasn't happy now that she had pushed Angel away. She was worse. The hardest thing in her life will to leave Angel and she wanted him with her during her remaining days. She was up all night pitying her self ad made a vow that she wouldn't spend her days wallowing in her bedroom thinking about what she was going to miss because she missed enough in her bedroom. 


	8. Death becomes her

Telling Angel  
  
It was coming to be the time that Buffy Anne Summers would depart from the world she was born into only sixteen years ago. Mr.Giles had been at work searching for any kind of cure but Buffy had long gone let that hope fade away. He told her that this was unatural, that slayers aren't supposed to be affected by serious human illness. Yet Buffy just thought he was trying to comfort her. It was a week until her expected "deathdate" and everyone was on edge especially Joyce.  
  
"Sweetie please stop lifting those boxes, I want you to rest." Joyce grabbed her hand and led her to the couch. Things had become difficult. A once healthy raging teenager, her daughter, so full of light with her long blonde hair, tanned skin and thick curves was left to a ghost of the girl they knew. Her skin was white and loose, there were large purple circles under her eyes, her hair was limp and unconditioned and she wore loose sweatpants and a white tank. Buffy was disgusted by how she looked, and refused to look at herself in the mirror.  
  
"Mom I am fine, don't worry about me, Dawn needs changing I better go do it." Buffy started to get up but joyce put a firm hand on her lap.  
  
"I will do it!" Joyce got up.  
  
"Mom I know this is hard for you, but it's hard for me too! I mean geeze I am the one dying here! God mom I work so hard but there still is no cure, I won't get married, won't have children and worst of all I am scared, I am scared to death (laughed a bit) of going without you. But don't pull me down and let me fade away, let me do what I do best, let me live what time I have left." Buffy was crying for the first time after her diagnosis. She finally broke down infront of her mother and she still didn't care. Her mother was there everyday holding her head as she barfed up what she ate that morning afternoon and night. Her mother was there to wipe away the sweat on her forehead when she slept. But when she dies her mother won't be there and neither will Angel.  
  
Suddenly Buffy called out, "Angel." and trailed off.  
  
"Buffy this is it I can't take it any longer I am calling that boy to get his ass down here. He needs to know Buffy Summers." She was firm but suddenly the pressure and activity was too much for Buffy and once again she collapsed onto the floor this time going into a seizure.  
  
Xander was at his home with Willow the two were ready to do their rounds and visit Buffy.  
  
"Will, you got the cookies?"  
  
"Sure do, but who cares she just vomits them back up anyway."  
  
"But she loves cookies our Buffy loves cookies and that is normal to eat cookies so we are going to eat cookies." As he pulled into Buffy's driveway there was an ambulance and Buffy being sedated and hoisted onto a gurney.  
  
"Oh my god Buffy" Willow yelled  
  
"No its too soon this isn't how it's supposed to happen."  
  
Xander rushed out of the car, going to Joyce. "Mrs. Summers she's not she's not dead is she?"  
  
"No Xander, but she only has a week. I have to get to the hospital."  
  
"Let me drive you." He asked. "Thank you Xander."  
  
All three of them went speeding to the hospital in his little caravan. When they got there the doctors were ready to take Joyce into the room she was familiar with from 3 months earlier.  
  
"In Buffy's condition there is no saying when she might go, the cancer pressed on her brain causing her to have a seizure, I am sorry Joyce but she just might not make it through the week."  
  
Joyce's face color dropped. Her baby was lying on a bed about to die and the only man she ever loved wasn't near to her. She ran out of the hospital and rushed into the waiting room.  
  
"Xander get my keys you and willow are going to L.A to bring Angel back to her! Now!!" Joyce was testy and hadn't slept in days. If they didn't go she would kill someone. Xander jumped out of his seat pulling Willow with him. If she was going to make it before Buffy died she would have to go now.  
  
Joyce walked into Buffy's room clutching her hand and whispering softly, "Hold on baby girl your Knight is coming."  
  
-------------L.A 


	9. Telling Angel

Telling Angel  
  
"Oh God Xander, drive faster, you, you big turtle!" Willow stuttered, anxiously watching the road map in her shaking lap.  
  
"God job Will calling me a turtle will really enhance my confidence! Keep the bashes coming!" Xander rolled his eyes sarcastically. He had never driven out of Sunnydale and L.A was a bug city compared to Sunnydale. Before Angel had left he had given them the address of a hotel he was staying at just in case Buffy needed him or changed her mind. It wasn't really if she changed her mind because Angel was hurt and didn't know if he could take her back, but if anything serious ever happened to her he wanted to know.  
  
"So what's this place called the Hyperion?" Xander asked checking the streets.  
  
"Uh yeah, something like that, all I know is that if we don't get there soon Angel won't be able to say goodbye and neither will we." Willow had tears in her eyes, Buffy was the closet thing she had to a girlfriend, (i.e. best friend that's a girl lol) who would help her shop and rate boys with. Xander wasn't really good with nail polish either.  
  
"Well get there in time Will, Buffy is strong she will fight if not for us than for Angel." There was a silence than Xander twitched a bit, "Ah here it is! Let's go and stat!"  
  
"Wait Xander, before we go in, Buffy wants to tell him, she doesn't want him to know until she gets the chance to say it, resort to the "she's got cancer" as a last resort sorta thing. Ok?" Xander shrugged and walked inside thinking he would have to find his room number but when they stepped into the lobby Angel was at a desk doing paperwork.  
  
"Angel what are you doing, do you work here?" Willow asked, Angel suddenly caught her eye and looked somewhat confused, he got out from behind the desk and shook their hands.  
  
"No, actually my family owns this" Angel smiled.  
  
"Whoa! No wonder Buffy likes you!" Xander stared at Angel's riches.  
  
"Well not anymore.." he looked down, " So what brings you here.  
  
"A lot actually. We were just wondering if you might want to come back to Sunnydale, try and rekindle with Buffy, she really misses you."  
  
"I don't think so Will, I am not just going to forgive her for what she did. She just can't say, "Oh well I think I like you now so you can come back. Why would she miss me I mean she was the one that called it off. She ruined what she had and because of what because of nothing. No I won't go back with you. IF she really misses me have her come here." Angel crossed his arms hoping he would look more firm on this because hopefully his physical appearance made up for what he was truly feeling.  
  
" She can't not now, you have to come and quick." Will stated.  
  
"And I thought I was cryptic. Why would she want me there anyways?" Angel looked at Xander.  
  
"Because, Because Angel, she has..." Xander paused but Willow realized it was the only way Angel would come back.  
  
"Because Angel she has cancer and she might not make it through the night." Willow blurted it out not stopping to look at Angel's now stricken face. "She pushed you away so you didn't see her dying she could only think it would hurt you to see her how she is now."  
  
"Oh God, you are lying you are lying to me I know you are. Is this some sick plan Buffy told you to tell me so that I would be rushing back to her?" Angel was definitly in.  
  
"Denial, one of the many stages of death Buffy has already been through that one, right now she is at accepting it the last stage, her last week here on earth. Please Angel there is no time to waste." Angel's face was olive, he started to cry, Xander had never seen him cry before, it wigged him out.  
  
"Let me get my coat, I am driving." Angel rushed towards the cabinet pulling out a leather duster hopping in the front seat of Xander little toyota. Putting the pedal to the metal, litteraly!  
  
"See Xander you have to learn how to drive like him!"  
  
"What 40 over the speed limit!" Xander mocked.  
  
"My best friend is about to die you are lucky I ain't pushing 60 over!" Angel's face looked determined, they hoped so was Buffy's.  
  
Sunnydale-----  
  
"Joyce her condition is weakening, we have her stable for now but there is no telling how long she will stay that way, I am truly sorry. Would you like us to call a priest."  
  
" No that's okay she isn't baptised" Joyce replied her eyes were puffy and red, if this didn't kill her she didn't know what would.  
  
"There is a first for everything." The doctor looked up.  
  
"I'll think about it" Joyce smiled a half smile and looked back at Buffy as she began to stir.  
  
"Mommy? Is it time?" Buffy asked.  
  
"For what dear?"  
  
"To go to the zoo, daddy said if I was real good he would take me to see the elephants and buy me cotton candy." Buffy looked up. "Hey mom, what's the what, me and calli are going to the mall today to buy these stellar shoes!" Angain slipping into conciousness, " The chosen one what are you talking about and did you say vampires. Talk about whacko!" "Mom what's happening? Whats wrong with me. The voices get them out of my head.  
  
Joyce looked terrified. "Doctor what is wrong with her."  
  
"She is having flashbacks from the past, it happens a lot when cancer surrounds the brain. Just try to keep her calm or play along with what she says."  
  
"I..I can do that." Joyce looked at the clock. Where in the hell were they?  
  
Suddenly xander came dashing down the hall with Willow, but where was Angel. Oh there he was behind Xander, he is pretty good looking thought Joyce.  
  
"Buffy Summers room 103?" Xander stated  
  
"Down the hall to your left!" Xander made a symbol of thanks and Angel was off. Xander and Willow were smart to stay behind to give them some time.  
  
"Angel thank god you're here, she doesn't have much time, I am so sorry sweety she really does love you." Joyce said from the doorway.  
  
"Thank-you." And with that Joyce left the room and Angel was able to seee Buffy, it wasn't her or at least it didn't look like her. Her skin was that of a ghost, pasty and loose, her hair was limp and he lips pale. He rushed over to her side stroking her hand to wake up.  
  
She had a breathing mask on and it was hard to talk. (gulp of air= . 4 effect lol) ".Angel.What.are.you doing.here?"  
  
"I came as soon as I heard, I can't say I am not mad at you for not telling me!"  
  
"Hey.now we are.even." She laughed a weak laugh recalling the time Angel pushed her away.  
  
"Buffy I know you are too young but I can't wait and neither can you. Buffy you are my everything. When I see the sun I see your face, When I smell the air I smel your perfum, when I feel the wind, I hear your voice. You are around me constantly and I just can't get enough of you. You were there when I fell of the jungle gym and broke my arm and fractured a rib and you tied my arm between two sticks so it would stay straight for the trip back home. You were there when I bought my first leather jacket" She laughed, he always wears leather since then. "Buffy I guess what I am getting at is, you are my everything. Elizabeth Anne Summers, Buffy my dear, will you do me the honour of marrying me."  
  
One single tear slid down her face, she was the happiest she had ever been and the saddest. He asked her in the most touching way, and she always was waiting for the day hee would propose but she couldn't except if she wasn't going to make it to her wedding day.  
  
"not.unless.you.want.to.marry.a dead.girl" She smile faintly so he knew she was joking.  
  
"Buffy don't speak like that you are going to get through this all you have to do is." Buffy interrupted.  
  
"Be Jesus? What, honestly..what.do you think..I can.do?" Buffy was mad at everyone trying to give her hope it was easier when she didn't have tog et her hopes up.  
  
"God you could show a little hope, maybe not just for you but for all of those wo love you like your mom. Buffy you have to hang in there because we are going to have six kids and get married in a white chapel and get a do named Bailey and.."  
  
"Six kids, whoa sounds like we have been busy!" She laughed, it was the first realy laugh he heard from her.  
  
"Giles, will and Xander are doing recon to see if there is anything that may cure you! It may be a slim chance but Giles firmly believes there is something out there."  
  
"When did you get so mature?" She smiled at him and motioned him to lay on the bed with her. He was slightly on and slightly off, holding her and stroking her hair. " I lve you so much Angel I try not to but I can't stop and when I do I don't feel like living."  
  
"I know how you mean, Buffy I have never loved you more."  
  
"Angel if you really truly love me take me out of here please, I don't want to spend my remaining days staring at four gray walls, take me to our "special place" the one where you rescued me." She smiled, there was an old mansion up on the hill by the cemetery where they used to play tag, one time there was a loose floorboard and Buffy fell through it. Angel was so worried but bravely saved her. It had been "their" place ever since.  
  
"Buffy I don't know if I can do that?"  
  
"Angel, please, I only have a week let me spend it with you." Angel scooped her moist body from sweat into his strong arms being careful of her head. "How do you feel about the window?"  
  
"I like, very romantic" She smiled she felt faint she needed to rest.  
  
Angel Carefuly hopped out the window thanking God that she was on the first floor whena nurse came calling after him.  
  
"Sir sir you can't do that she isn't to leave the premises! Sir come back here." The nurse shouted. Angel and Buffy tossed back their heads and howled, they felt rebellious it was like the old times except they now had the licensee to kiss.  
  
"Yes" Buffy whispered,  
  
"Yes what?" Angel asked concerned.  
  
"Yes if I live I will marry you Angel despite our age, I know we have always been married, but f I don't make it I want you to know that my answer is yes." She smiled and he gave her a gentle kiss.  
  
As Angel carried her to his car he laid her down in the back using his jacket to support her head. "Don't you worry Buffy we will be there in a sec!"  
  
"Angel if I barf in your car will you totally hate me, wait no time for that..too late..er sorry I vomit everyday that's why I am so skinny lately, really sorry."  
  
"I can get a new car, I can't get another you. Buffy did you really have to vomit everyday?" Angel looked horrified.  
  
"Yeah, and I got major headaches but I got used to it." Buffy was trying to make him feel better.  
  
"We are here!" Angel lifted her out of the back seat and placed her on the bed. " I can't believe those people left their furniture here. It's really ironic."  
  
"Yeah, Angel I know this is rude, but I need a little less talky and a lil more sleeping.I have cancer, it's different now."  
  
"Oh yeah of course, sorry. Buffy can can I sleep in the bed with you there is only one bed, but if you don't want to..":  
  
"I would really like that." Angel snuggled against her closely. Buffy felt as if she was "normal" in the arms of her boyfriend then she had to remember she was the slayer with cancer hunted by demons. Right normal.  
  
Suddenly Angel's cell phone rung, Buffy was already sound asleep so he slid out from under her and raced for his jacket.  
  
"Hello? Giles?" Angel asked. It was Giles alright, and he had news, there was this thing a demon I think he called it. Well I knew a bit about these things because living in L.A it was hard to miss but I didn't realize others knew about them too. He said that there was a mohra demon that's blood was a healing elixir. He told Giles that they had to find it, that he would stop at nothing to find it but Giles had warned him to stay with Buffy to make sure she was all right. Xander, Willow and Giles were going out to hunt it and bring it back but would it be in time? 


	10. A race against time

A Race against Time  
  
"Xander, check the books and make sure the exact spot that Mohra demons usually hide out in Sunnydale, if there are none in this town, I doubt that, but if there isn't we are going to have to fly to Arizona. There is a cavern where many of them hide to stay hidden from the daylight. It will take longer but it's the only option we have. As of now it's a race against time." Giles swept up his jacket and briefcase and headed for the door.  
  
"Giles, where are you going?" Willow looked up from the computer printing out maps of the Sunnydale sewage systems.  
  
"To get weapons and lot's of them." Giles rushed out the door.  
  
"Did he say weapons, we really need the back story here." Xander shook his head confused.  
  
"It's not every day your libraian turns out to be interessted in demons and your best friend is a slayer, weapons are the most normal part of this scenerio." Willow went onver to Xander to see what he was looking at. "Xander! That's it. You are genious!" She kissed him on the cheek, Xander still very much confused. "We are going to get that demon by tomorrow, the page you are on, it's witchcraft I always wanted to try witchcraft, but then I'd be called freaky and my status isn't exactly made for that."  
  
"Hello? Reality check for Willow Rosenbuarg, Witchcraft, it's a sham, you have never down anything like it before, and well what do you plan on doing?"  
  
Willow's eyes lit up as she pulled out a map and a crystal from Giles' desk.  
  
"I was snooping around cause Buffy spends a lot of time with him and I found this necklace, but I am pretty sure this isn't a necklace anymore!" Willow grinned again.  
  
"Okay I may be slow, actually I know I am slow, but you never said what spell you are doing?"  
  
"A locater spell!" She chanted a few words and held the crystal over the map..nothing happened. She tried it again.nothing happened. "Oh fooie! Why isn't it working."  
  
"Maybe because the words arent ENGILSH!" Xander didn't mean to yell but it was quite obvious.  
  
"I know my pronunciation is off, but this should work."  
  
"One more time. For Buffy" Xander stated trying to give her the confidence she needed.  
  
"One more time for Buffy!" Will started up again this time the crystal started to shake a bit. It mvoed to one end of the map to the next and the next until it stopped smack-dab, in the center.  
  
"The school! The school?" Willow stated what it was then questioned it.  
  
"That would mean that there are a bunch hairy demon underneath us?" Xander looked shocked praying it went wrong. Suddenly the earth trembled a bit, and they heard growls of hunger. Willow shot a stare at Xander.  
  
"Hey it wasn't me?" Pointing to his belly.  
  
"We have to get Giles, NOW" They ran out of there so quickly they forgot to take the flask to put the demon's blood in.  
  
-----the mansion----  
  
"Angel?" Buffy said weerily, it was 7;00pm and she began to stir.  
  
"Yeah," They were curled up on their side, Buffy fitting nicely inside the shape of his curled body, his arms around, he wanted her to feel safe.  
  
" Do you ever think about the day we met?" Buffy said recalling the best thing that ever happened to her.  
  
"Sometimes," he smiled, " What wouldi have done without you Summers?" Angel smiled.  
  
"Not much!" Buffy replied. Buffy was four years old and had just moved in to the house next door with her mother and father. She arrived in a white garden dress and her air neatly in pigtails with malibu barbie in one hand, and Ken in the other. Angel however was 6, the cool kid on his porch with his friends staring at the family. He didn't know it then but he would be in love with that girl. Buffy had skipped over to Angels and greeted him with a smile, "Whatjadoin?" She asked politely. "Sitting." Buffy looked down, "Oh. I am Buffy!" Angel breathed out a puff of air, "I am Angel, don't you have to some barbies to play with?" all of his friends snickered. "Nope! I thought I could play with you!" Angel looked down, " Why don't you get hair ribbons or something, leave me and my friends alone." Buffy looked down, "oh, ok." She left his house except this time without a skip. Angel's brother, William, who was Buffy's age hopped outside, "That was real mean Angel," and he rushed over to take Buffy's hand. Angel ran over, "Will, that's my friend you can't hold her hand." And he grabbed Buffy's hand, "Come on Buffy lets go play in the mud." And Buffy's eyes lit up "Cool!" Ever since then angel had been holding her hand.  
  
"You were a little brat trying to get me away and stealing me from Will. Come to think of it we were the same age and he was nice to me from the start. Maybe I am with the wrong man?" She laughed and Angel couldn't help but feel jealous.  
  
"William did have it bad for you, when you came over to swim he gawked at you all the time especially when you were fourteen and you wore that bikini, William had a field day."  
  
"Ew, he looked at me, sorta disturbing. But you never did, at least Will thought I was something to look at." Buffy chuckled.  
  
"I hadn't thought about you that way. It's just how it was, you know? But I was jealous when William spent time with you. I knew I was older than you, but you were my friend. Not his. Just like you are my girlfriend and I have my arms around you!"  
  
"Getting a bit possessive!" She laughed. Angel and William were never close because of her. She loved Angel but Angel didn't love her at the time but Will did and he was mad that Angel always stole me away.  
  
"Angel do you ever think about, what we will never get to do with each other, if if I don't make it. Let's face the facts it's slim to none so lets not beat around the bush."  
  
"Yes, I do sometimes, but I can't do anything about it."  
  
"Angel" suddenly angel noticed that she was a bit flushed and womewhat blushing, " I want you to make me a promise."  
  
"And what's that"  
  
"I am going to die not experiencing many things, and there is one thing I don't want to die not doing. I love you Angel, I love you so much and I always, pictured, my fist my first time with you. I'll never get to experience that. Angel was taken back what she had just told him about was a very big step and Buffy was the only one he wanted to take it with. He wasn't a virgin anymore but he knew she was, he was flattered that she wanted to but she was weak and sick maybe she wasn't thinking right.  
  
"Buffy i."  
  
"I am dying Angel, for once I just need to cry for me." She turned around and started to cry Angel comforting her.  
  
------------the school--------  
  
"I wonder what they are doing?" Xander asked.  
  
"Just resting probably!" Willow answered.  
  
"Oh so that's what they call it now a days!" Xander chuckled and Willow hit him with her purse.  
  
"We have to find Giles we could be in serious trouble!" Xander and Willow headed out the door.  
  
"Giles? Are you there?" Bcking up slightly Willow bumped into a tall figure, "Ahhh!!!!!!!!!Oh Giles it's just you! Thank god we know where the Mohra demons are." Giles rudely interrupeted her.  
  
"In the basement." Giles had a large axe in his hand and a jam jar.  
  
"Hey that was my line!" Willow pouted.  
  
"We have to get in there, it's her only chance." Giles was frantic.  
  
"Wait Giles!" Xander called from the library. "I think I have found something, something that will explain it all."  
  
Giles rushed into the library temporarily forgetting the raging Mohra demons below their feet. Biles' eyes widened, "A prophecy." 


	11. Prophecies Never Lie

The Prophecy  
  
"Okay I may not be blond but come again? A prophecy?" Xander's jaw dropped at least three inches making him look like a daft puppy dog drooling in his sleep. Giles gave him a somewhat pissed off look and shoved the book right under his nose to find a beautiful sketch of Buffy and Angel intertwined together.  
  
"Oh, right that it explains it, another, Buffy and Angel crisis hogging all the prophecies!" Xander said sarcastically.  
  
"Xander!" Simultaneously Giles and Willow shouted out their frustration!  
  
"The prophecy usually surrounds Buffy and those who surround her. This one may be the answer to why the slayer was plagued with cancer, Sickness are very uncommon amongst Slayers due to the powers that be that need them to stick around to save our asses!" Giles pounded his fist firmly on a near by table.  
  
" The powers that be, slayer, prophecy? Giles please tell me you've been mixing medications!" Xander still was staring at him in disbelief.  
  
"Willow can you take this to the computer and have it translated by the time I get back?" Waiting for a reply from Willow, she snapped out of daydreaming and gave him a reassuring nod of the head. "Good, I am going to check out the morha lair in the basement, see if we can handle it alone, Willow, I am counting on you!" Giles left Willow and Xander staring at the swinging door of the library.  
  
"Eep!" Was the only sound that escaped Willows mouth well a shocked Xander dropped the book in his hands.  
  
Meanwhile Giles, shaking rapidly partly out of fear and out of anger for the plague that was cursed upon his daughter-like slayer. Punching through the sharp glass of a case that held a burning red axe, Giles's hand wrapped around the shaft of the instrument and pulled it out holding it up to the boiler room door. In fear of making too much noise Giles lowered the axe and chose to take a "surprise attack" instead of him barging in on them and getting himself killed/ Yet it still wasn't enough he needed, he needed..  
  
Suddenly a young woman came hurtling through the window of the high school, her hands wrapped around her head to protect her from unwanted scars. Giles was taken aback when the girl lifted her head and started to show great agility. The brunette rushed over to Giles grabbing the axe from his hands and straightening his glasses.  
  
"Hey G-man! The names Faith, and I am your new slayer!"  
  
In the library Willow and Xander were clueless as to what was happening. The Gaelic in which the prophecy was written in was taking a very long time to translate and if she had been more experienced it would have taken less time however she didn't know much about the language this being her first time translating anything more than French.  
  
"Will?" Xander looked desperately into his best friend's eyes.  
  
"Yeah?" Willow didn't quite understand Xander's sudden seriousness, because he was never that serious.  
  
"What if we aren't in time? We will loose Buffy and the world will loose their protector!" Xander was starting to accept the truth behind Buffy's excuses to miss class ectra.  
  
"Our first priority is our best friend, the slayer comes second. Buffy finally needs the world instead of it needing her, and it's time to pay her back for her sacrifices." Willow said this with such confidence that it inspired Xander beyond belief. He had never seen her so strong headed. It was turining him on. Wait bad Xander, not the time for that.  
  
"Ooh!! Xander get over her! It's down the prophecy it's translated!" Willow's eyes lit up wildly.  
  
Giles was still confused as to who was this young lady who claimed she was the slayer.  
  
"You..you can't be the slayer into every generation there is born one slayer. There are no records of two?" Everything that he had learnt from the handbook wasn't adding up.  
  
"Well I am the replacement for the other slayer, you know G-man I think we will get along quite well!" Faith smiled seductively.  
  
"NO, it c an't possibly be, that would mean that Buffy, she has to die?" Was she dead already? Had he failed her?  
  
"Stop with the questions G-man, I am not going to let my sister slayer die on us, that's why I am here I am going to help you get those big nasties juices so she can heal and fulfill her "destiny"." Faith's grammar was quite appling to Giles but she was his only shot.  
  
" So you know about the prophecy?" He asked.  
  
" I know about it but I don't know what's its about! Hey G-man let's go before they get hungry!" Faith kicked down the door and led him to the boiler room. She was a good leader but not quite like Buffy, Faith was more about the kill, Buffy strategized, Buffy was Buffy, loved by all. Faith was a good slayer but she wasn't a Buffy. As soon as Giles opened the door, he saw at least 3 Morhas and a pit of dead bodies.  
  
"Well I solved the crime of the disappearing students!" He said in disgust tot he smell of death and blood. "Take a quiet approach Faith they are very strong demons."  
  
"Right!" Faith headed through the vent on the ceiling leaving Giles to advise her. Trhe vents were small and trapping causing Faith the cough slightly. The demons heads lifted at the sound and Giles's heart stopped for at least 3 seconds. However she hadn't been caught. A wave of relief went over both of them. Faith caught sight of a small hole in the vent and pocked out her the arrow from her crossbow. Giles' did the same with his. The trick was that Giles and her would have to shoot at the same time in order to not alarm the others. Faith would have to quickly shoot the third demon so he wasn't alarmed.  
  
"1,2,3" Giles whispered and the arrows shot out of the ends of their crossbows. All three went down in a swift action but Faith knew they wouldn't be down for long so she shot another five arrows into each of them. All that could be heard were groans of pain from the demons and slight disgust from Giles. Faith whipped out her knife and slashed the neck of one of the demons and poured it into a little scientific vial. (test tube) Giles looked at her with admiration but was interrupted when one of the demons started to stand up. Faith and Giles took a dash for it, running for the door.  
  
"What are we going to do? If they stay alive they will continue to eat the students."  
  
"No prob. G-man, its all covered!" She chucked a grenade from her pocket down the stairs. "Never mess with a boot camp girl!" She looked at the explosion with satisfaction. Giles was still bewildered as of what had just taken place.  
  
"Thabk-you iss Faith, your service was very helpful" he curtly bowed his head and walked towards the library.  
  
"Hey G-man! I am still a slayer and you're my watcher, let me tag on please?" Faith was a bit desperate to have a place to belong.  
  
"Ah sure why not, Buffy needs all the strength she can get!" Faith handed him the vial containing the blood. As they entered the library, Xander and Willow were in the corner of the rooms with their heads down. It looked like they had been crying a bit. Some out of happiness the rest out of despair. Giles looked over at them shocked and confused. Willow raised her tear stricken face and gestured towards the computer.  
  
Giles looked at it and saw that the prophecy was complete. HE turned towards Willow and she nodded for him to continue. He read it out loud;  
  
Before the one is called her Angel will leave her only  
  
to return on her sixteenth birthday where the one and  
  
the angel will be reunited to only be ripped apart again  
  
by a strong and powerful demon.  
  
The one will be cursed with this demon but will hide it  
  
from the Angel. The one will slip in and out of middle  
  
earth and heaven. The ones friends will call the Angel  
  
and the Angel will be at her side once again. The ones  
  
guardian will try and find a healing elixir of blood and  
  
will find it with the help of the Second. The second was  
  
only meant to exist for the purpose of the one.  
  
Before the elixir is brought to the one, her Angel will  
  
have made love to her as her dying wish. After she is  
  
healed she will give birth to a powerful child. The  
  
angel and the one will be wed at the tender age of 18  
  
and twenty. Even though the one's life is spared she  
  
will be taken away from the world before the child  
  
reaches the age of four on the fifth day of the fifth  
  
month.  
  
The Angel will be devastated and will be forced to care  
  
for the child. The child will be forced to offer herself  
  
to the world on the night of her sixteenth birthday. We  
  
will all be spared but the child will not be. Th one and  
  
the child will be reunited leaving the Angel alone.  
  
The Angel will soon join them in paradise where the  
  
three souls will be together forever but her presence  
  
will be missed by everyone damaging the lives of the  
  
guardian and mother. The second will become the one and  
  
the world will once again be at peace. If the cycle is  
  
disrupted the earth will crumble to pieces.  
  
Giles looked up from the computer. His eyes were wet from tears and confusion. The story he had read was similar to what had happened to Buffy and what was to come of her. She would heal, to only die again, but it couldn't be possible that she would bare a child, her and angel would never do anything as foolish has that before she were to die. It wasn't possible something must have gone wrong in the translating. Or could it have all been true?  
  
"Is this true G-man?" Faith looked up at him knowing she was the second and would become the one in the near future.  
  
"The prophecies never lie." Giles said this flatly staring into the back ink of the computer, " Prophecies never lie." 


	12. Her Dying Wish

Her Dying Wish  
  
"You can't tell me you believe all that? It's like pulling it from a fortune cookie!" Giles looked at Xander with a stern look, " Yeah, yeah I know the prophecies "never" lie! Whatever, all I am saying is I don't think any of that will happen!" Xander folded his arms as if to show that his opinion concluded the argument.  
  
Giles suddenly looked up, " They mustn't be told, either of them! If they know they could disrupt what is to become of them. Leaving the earth in shackles."  
  
"So your saying that if we tell Angel and Buffy, they probably won't get jiggy with it causing us to loose our savior child? Since when was the world so messed up? What happened to the simple days?"  
  
Xander was so confused and Willow just sat in the corner listening. He wanted to comfort her but needed answers.  
  
"Exactly, that child could very well save us all without it we could die." Suddenly Willow stood up from where she was sitting.  
  
"Giles you talk as though Buffy and Angel's child is an object. It's a living being, their living being, their love and joy, and it's going to e taken from them and an innocent life will be taken for us. Why do we deserve her assistance. What have we ever done to save ourselves. Forget the world, Buffy won't let her child die."  
  
"And that is why we won't tell them about the prophecy." Giles was agitated.  
  
"Okay hold up, we still have a dying B, here and a blood to cure, I saw we find them A.S.A.P. and deliver before it's too late." They all nodded in understanding until a gang of vampires bursted through the windows of the library.  
  
"Thanks for the enlightenment with the prophecy Geeves! It was very helpful! By the way the name is Spike, and I would love to see the earth fall to shackles! Thanks!"  
  
"Oh great!" at this point Giles was getting very annoyed with people trying to block them from getting to Buffy!  
  
----------the mansion--------  
  
Buffy's breathing was heavy as she slept curled up in Angel's arms. HE was still awake treasuring all the time he had with her. IN his heart of hearts he believed that there was no cure, as much as he would have liked to think there was hope he knew there wasn't. HE loved her so much and kicked himself for not realizing it when he was younger. She was the image of purity, the real jackpot. He was surprised other guys hadn't seen it either. Suddenly Buffy started going into spasms, her body shaking and her head moving up and down. She was coughing hysterically, he went to cover her mouth when his hand was stained with blood. She was coughing up her blood.  
  
"Angel.." She could barely speak between hard gasps for air, " Am.I.dying?"  
  
Angel's eyes were filled with tears, she was going to die soon he just knew it. " Shh shh, of course not baby, not as long as I am with you. We are going to get through this and have little babies that have your blond honey hair and my brown eyes, WE will have a little girl that reminds us of you, she'll be sweet and I will pound every guy that ever hurts her. And I will do that fatherly inspection."  
  
Buffy smiled a bit and began to speak, " Not every guy, she needs to have some heartbreaks!" HE stroked her hair. She started to cry silently. He didn't know what to do but hold her.  
  
" Angel it's not enough time they aren't going to make it. I am going to die, I am sixteen I don't want to die." Angel started to cry as well. " I love you Angel, remember me forever and always please." Angel couldn't believe she was saying goodbye.  
  
" You can't die on me Buffy, I won't let you!" Angel shook her a bit but gently  
  
" Don't forget me Angel please never forget!" Angel looked in her eyes and saw something he had never seen before, Fear.  
  
"How could forget, the poerson I love, want to marry, you'll always be with me." Angel kissed her tenderly on the mouth, Yet Buffy pulled him into a more passionate one. They continued to kiss until Buffy breaked for air.  
  
"Buffy we can't, your weak." Angel started but Buffy put her finger to his mouth.  
  
" I can handle it cowboy!" She smirked an almost healthy smirk and lifted his shirt off.  
  
"Let it be my dying wish." A tear ran down her cheek and she and Angel slid under the covers. Little did they know that it was all a part of their destiny.  
  
-------------The library-----  
  
"With the slayer out of the picture, I find it really easy to finally beat you scoobies to a pulp," Spike looked way too happy. Finally Faith came hurling out of the shadows, kicking him in the back of the head.  
  
"Guess whose back in the picture!" Faith looked down at a very unconcious Spike.  
  
" Slayer" the rest of the vampires growled and came towards Faith.  
  
"G-man find Xander and Willow a safe place I can handle them!"  
  
"Right-o!" Giles was proud of his new slayer's course of action and grabbed a very disturbed Xander and Willow into his office. He looked the doors and watched as Faith continued to stake the vampires. After all the vamps were "dusted" she went to leave but from Giles' view he could see a very pissed Spike rise from behind her.  
  
"Faith behind you!" Giles yelled through the glass.  
  
"One step ahead of you!" Faith flung her left arm up into a backward punch. Spike went crashing to the floor in shame.  
  
" Good heaven's Faith you were amazing!" Giles was very impressed with Faith's skills, she didn't have a watcher but her fighting skills were very advanced.  
  
"What can I say I learn from the best!" Faith smiled, "So what next?"  
  
" We can't see Buffy like this, we know too much, if we go knowing the prophecy one of us might let it slip, disturbing the course of things." Xander's eyes dropped just another obstacle standing in Buffy's way.  
  
"Well what it's not like we can turn back time, we aren't magic!" Willow sprang ou of the corner she had retreated to. She was feeling helpless and confused but finally something that made sense presented itself to her.  
  
"A spell!" Giles looked at her like she was brilliant, it made Xander jealous. That's my look to give her' he thought kinda pouting.  
  
"It's genious, a memory spell!" Giles scrambled around and got some things he explained that he would be the only one to know what the prophecy said in case of an emergency. After chanting a few words a yellow light filled them and they were restored.  
  
"What just happened," Willow asked skeptically.  
  
"I don't know but let's get our Scooby asses down to the mansion, Buffy's life depends on it." Faith was even surprised at herself. She was never the take charge kinda girl, more a kick ass think later girl. She was even impressed. Did this Buffy girl have that effect on everyone else?  
  
"Okay Giles where's your getup?" Faith was panting a bit, that workout had been a little much and she was craving a very very large burger.  
  
" My Get-up? My word what are you trying to say?" Giles was very confused, he knew Buffy would have replied with a, "Duh Giles" he missed that about her.  
  
"Your car Giles, where is your car?" Xander could have turned that into something funny or sarcastic but decided it wasn't the time for that Buffy could already be dead for all they knew.  
  
"Oh right, it's over there," Giles pointed to a red jeep parked in a staff lot. They ran towards hoping that their worst fears hadn't happened.  
  
-----------The mansion------  
  
Buffy rolled over onto Angel's warm chest. She smiled like she had never smiled before. All i had ever wanted was that night. i loved how he was constantly making sure i was okay or comfortable, how he stroked my hair when i was asleep and how he smelt of cologne. But i loved the tattoo on his back more than anything. i hadn't seen it before, but it was powerful, and well let's just really really cool! She giggled to herself and went back into a somewhat dream like state.  
  
I lie awake listening to our two hearts beating together and for a second I forget that she is dying, I forget that we will never get married and that she will never reach seventeen. All I can think about is how innocent she is, how pure she tastes, how wide-eyed and curious she is. Her flesh is so silky even though it is pale and not her usual bronzed colour. I love how she nibbles my ear lobe and giggles. I love who she turns red when I tell her how beautiful she is and how wonderful she is. Yet most of all I love that when she is around my nostrils are filled with that sweet aroma of vanilla. That smell will haunt me forever.  
  
I am tired and weak. I can feel myself slipping from this world, and I think I am ready. I am not ready to leave him, to leave my mom, my friends and this world, but I am ready to accept my fate. My heart begins to slow down. My breathing gets heavier and harder to take in. I get cold, so cold, I begin to shiver and my legs are quivering beneath the blankets, beads of sweat are on my head, and I can't keep my eyes open. I start to cough again, blood spurting everywhere. I think he is waking up, I don't want him to see me like this but I can't move. I whisper, "thank-you for the best night of my life," I smile, and my eyes roll back and it's dark, I think he is crying, but I can't speak I am too weak too tired.  
  
I woke up, her body was shaking against mine like a frightened horse. She is freezing like ice so cold to touch, I gather her up in my arms and she whispers to me. I cry and know I have to let her go but I don't want to. Suddenly she stops breathing. I grab my shirt and wrap it around her. I shake her rapidly but she won't breath, I am frightened, I don't know what to do. God help me, if she goes I don't know what I'll do.  
  
Suddenly the door is kicked down and Giles enters the mansion with three others.  
  
"Giles, you made it!" Angel's eyes glistened with hope. " She isn't breathing Giles, quickly we need to help her!" Angel carried her over to the middle of the room where Giles was already setting up some of his stuff.  
  
" Okay Angel this might look weird but it's going to help Buffy, I can take over from here!" He takes Buffy's lifeless body and rings it to the couch.  
  
" What he means to say is get some pants on!" Xander looked Angel up and down and shivered in disgust, "I don't even want to know what happened or why!" Forgetting that it was written that Buffy and angel would have sex, he was very surprised.  
  
Angel ran into the back hall and came out fully dressed minus the shirt Buffy was wearing. He had been careful to dress her incase, he needed to get her to the hospital or Giles came.  
  
"Giles just tell me what to do!" Angel was frantic.  
  
" I can't hear her heart beating we are going to have to act fast." Giles took out a knife and was about to slit her wrist.  
  
"What are you doing!" Angel ran in front of Buffy, seeing Buffy's friend attempt to bleed her to death.  
  
"Angel I have to there is no time for explanations, just hold her down for me!" Angel did as he was told, it was this or nothing. As he did this Giles cut one of her wrist and began to pour a red blood into the open wound. The cut magically healed right before their eyes. All of a sudden they could see a blue substance running up her veins to her face, her skin became more vital, being bronzed and healthy her hair became bouncy and bright blond again, her cheeks were rosy and her lips pink. Her heart started to beat and she began to stir in Angel's arms, her eyes began to open.  
  
"Hey there Angel, did I fall asleep during the song?"  
  
Angel was crying happy tears and wiped them away, she looked beautiful, she looked like Buffy. "What are you talking about love?"  
  
"You know silly at the bronze, I must have been really tired that night because I remember sorta falling down and now I am awake, in a mansion with my friends surrounding me..Ok what happened??"Angel and the others started to laugh a bit.  
  
"She doesn't remember?" Faith asked.  
  
"No I don't think she does, that's a good thing though" Giles smiled they all had tears in their eyes.  
  
"Okay I remember all of you but who is she?" Buffy sat up and pointed toward Faith.  
  
"Hey B nice to see your alive and kickin'! I am Faith, vampire slayer extrodinaire! I think you and me are going to get along just great."  
  
"How is that possible I am the slayer? If there are two that means?"  
  
"It means that all the badies in Sunnyhell here are going to have a real rough ride," Faith said smirking.  
  
"I like the sound of that!" Buffy smiled and got up everyone trying to help her.  
  
"Whoa guys last time I remember I could stand!" She got up as if it was nothing, when she was sick she could barely sit up!  
  
"and what is with the tears, I was just sleeping! How much did I miss? Is mom okay?? Angel?" Buffy was a little worried.  
  
" There's a lot to fill you in on and I would be glad to tell you!" Angel said kissing her on the forehead.  
  
"Don't worry you should remember in an hour what happened, just get plenty of rest and food!" Giles gave her a hug and suddenly every one joined in except for Faith she didn't really feel she belonged until Buffy grabbed her by the arm with her slayer reflexes and dragged her into the circle.  
  
Buffy eventually remembered all that had happened and remembered her and Angel's first time together. She was glad she didn't forget that. She moved back in to her house and Giles let Angel stay with him as long as he liked. Everything was back to normal, but how long could things stay normal in Sunnydale. Buffy was about to find-out 2 months later. 


	13. The aftermath

The Aftermath  
  
"Buffy, sweetie wake-up you've got school in fifteen minutes, don't forget Xander's driving you today!" Joyce hurried down the stairs to start and make the pancakes.  
  
"Ugh!! I get four months of cancer and I don't get one month off of school!" Buffy raised her hand sleepily and hit the snooze button on her alarm. "It's going to be a lot of work to make Buffy pretty this morning!" Getting up Buffy dragged her feet to her closet. She wanted to look really nice just in case Angel would catch a glimpse of her. Her and Angel hadn't been seeing each other because they both felt that they needed some time to deal with her magic recovery. Buffy new about demons, but Angel had been taking it a little harder than she thought. He loved having her back or so he said when they would talk once a week on the phone, but it was a tragic ordeal and they needed to get over it. She just missed him so much! Missed having him to hold her, kiss her, not to mention, again turning pink Buffy stopped right there and drew her attention to the open closet.  
  
Grabbing a red tank and a short skirt Buffy dashed into the bathroom to volumize her hair and put on her make-up. Suddenly Dawnie wobbled in and Buffy placed her on the counter.  
  
"Buffy be pretty?" Dawnie looked up at her with those big brown eyes.  
  
"Buffy tries to be pretty!" Buffy smiled and took the blush brush and brushed it along her cheekbone.  
  
"Dawnie want to be pretty too! Make dawnie pretty!" Dawn slammed her fist on the bathroom counter a bit.  
  
"I don't know dawnie mommy doesn't want little girls to wear make- up!" Dawn looked up at her with a little pout and her bottom lip quivering.  
  
"Okay, okay but just a little I have to go!" Dawn smiled and Buffy told her to be very still. She brushed on some blush and gave her a bit of light pink lipstick than covered it with a gloss! A slayer and a beautician too! Man I got skills! Buffy smiled and powdered dawn's nose.  
  
"Okay, 1, 2, 3!" Buffy picked Dawn up and swirled her to the mirror! Dawn smiled and scampered off downstairs. Buffy combed her hair twice through and glanced at her watch! Eep! She had 5 minutes until Xander would be there.  
  
"Buffy what did you do to Dawn!" Joyce was at the bottom of the stairs staring at Buffy holding up a very make-uped little girl.  
  
"Well she pouted! You know that pout!" Buffy whined desperately trying to get out of it.  
  
"Come on Dawn wants to say goodbye to you outside."  
  
Buffy dashed down the stairs shoved a toast in her mouth and took Dawn by the hand. As she walked outside she stood on the driveway with Dawn in hand waiting for Xander to pull up. Angel was on his porch reading the paper no doubt. Oop if I could only see his face. Just ignore him, just ignore him, breath one two...Dawn? She realized that the little girl had jutted towards Angel while she had been thinking she ran after dawn but it was too late.  
  
"Angel, Angel" Dawn shouted as she wrapped her arms around his leg. He dropped the newspaper and let out a big smile looking down at Dawn.  
  
"Hey squirt! Where's your mommy you shouldn't be out her alone??" That's when Angel saw Buffy running towards them and scooping up Dawn in her arms. She was gorgeous a spitting image of health. "Dawnie you know better than to run down the street without me! Uh sorry about that Angel we will just be going now" Buffy shot daggers at Dawn. Could this be anymore awkward.  
  
"Oh yeah right! Um you like nice today." Angel tried to make with the small talk.  
  
Buffy blushed a bit and replied, "Yeah you too."  
  
"Buffy and Angel sitting in a tree k-I-s-s-I-n-g first comes.." Buffy put her hand firmly across Dawns mouth and carried her down the porch leaving Angel laughing wildly.  
  
"Bye bye Angy, I love you!" She waved letting her head drop onto Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"Bye squirt I love you too." He looked into Buffy's eyes for the first time in two months. She had changed. She was older, tiered, could he say, hotter??  
  
"Uh thanks for um, you know looking after Dawn and all" Buffy smiled and turned a bit.  
  
"No problem, if she needs to be babysat tell your mom Dawns welcome over anytime!" Angel smiled. Oh crap she probably thinks that I will have that summer over just not her. Oh well she probably doesn't/  
  
"Uh yeah sure, well Xander's here to pick me up we best be off!" Buffy smiled one last time as if to flash what he was missing and jumped into Xander's car leaving Dawn with Joyce. It almost pained him to see Buffy with nother man. He knew that Xander and Buffy were striclty friends but he couldn't help but wonder that they were.more. That day when she glided up to him in her little mini-skirt and boiuncy blond hair he wanted to call the "break" thing quits. But he knew he wasn't ready not just yet.  
  
------school-----  
  
Buffy's day had been going quite smoothly, she had gotten back and everyone was really happy to see her. Apparently when she was sick a lot of kids visited her and made a little memorial at the school for her. She was a popular cheerleader, but she had never spoken to any of them. However they all secretly knew that she had saved their lives more than once.  
  
"So what's the what is good old Sunnydale?" Buffy ran up behind Willow and tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
"Nothing much, just um well, a certain male caucasian has taken a certain interest in a certain, moi!" Willow beamed at Buffy. Her cheeks were turning pink and so were the tips of her ears.  
  
"Mais qui? Ooo Willow someone's got the hots for you!" Buffy shouted out not too loudly, but ewhat she couldn't understand was why Willow was shooting daggers at her.  
  
"Who's got the hots for Willow?" Xander asked in desperation.  
  
"Uh know one Xand, you know I was trying to make her blush!" Buffy finally catching on that Willow's mystery guy happened to be the one and only Xander Harris. She winked at Willow and gave her a "Oh yeah!" kinda smirk. They continued to walk don the hall to the cafeteria when suddenly Buffy became rather dizzy, almost nausious. She finally lost her balance and fell to the floor.  
  
" So I wonder what's for lunch buffy! Buffy?" Xander turned around to find Buffy had collapsed on the ground. "Oh God Buffy are you okay?" Ever since the cancer everyone had been on edge with her.  
  
"I..i am fine I guess? I was just so dizzy. I think I am going to be sick!" With her hand covereing her mouth she ran to the bathroom with Willow following after. In the bathroom Buffy was vomiting her head off. It was like it never stopped, but finally she was able to regain her composure and walk out of the stall.  
  
"Oh god Buffy what's wrong she should call the hospital." Willow suddenly felt as though the cancer went into remission.  
  
"Uh Will it's probably just a virus you know those things!" Buffy smiled, trying to hide her worried face.  
  
"Um yeah okay well let's get some lunch." Willow shook her head and went to the cafetieria. Xander was already there to make that sure things were ok. Willow nodded her head as if to say she was fine and Buffy came with her lunch tray.  
  
"Ugh green jello and tuna surprise yummy!" Xander joked sarcastically then his face dropped as he saw Buffy down the tuna surprise. "Uh Buffy you hate tuna??"  
  
With her mouth half full she began to speak, " I dono it's weird guys but I have this sudden craving for tuna and chocolate! Anyone have any chocolate?" Xander took his hand and raised it to Buffy's forehead. "She seems alright?" They both shrugged and made silent expressions of concern.  
  
Angel was still on his porch when Buffy got home but he hadn't waited there all day he just came outside hoping to catch Buffy as she went home. And there she was. He saw her dashing down the sidewalk and he yelled out, "Hello there," with a grin she smiled a bit then took her hand to her mouth and ran to right inside her house up the stairs and in the bathroom where she proceeded to vomit.  
  
Angel was in complete bewilderment. Maybe she was over him? Meanwhile Joyce walked in on Buffy in the bathroom to find her vomiting up tuna surprise or what was left of it.  
  
"Oh God Buffy, the cancer, I knew it was too true to be good when you miraculously snapped out of it. It's in remission, oh dear." She started to cry and rushed Buffy to the car. "We are going to the Doctor's office right now." Angel's ears perked up at this. Was Buffy ok?  
  
---------Doctor's office-------  
  
"And how is our little mircle girl doing?" The doctor beamed at what had been declared a miracle healing.  
  
" You tell us, I think she is in remission." The doctor's face dropped and rushed Buffy into the nearest room. After twenty minutes the doctor called for Joyce to come in the room.  
  
"Mrs. Summers we have some news. We did find something. But it's a different kind of miracle. Joyce congratulations, Buffy's pregnant!" The doctor beamed and Jocye fainted. See there is never a "normal" day in good old Sunnydale. 


	14. Baby Boom

Dates mates and baby news?  
  
Joyce awoke to Buffy standing over her slightly tapping her shoulder, "Mommy?" Joyce smiled and sat up, "I had the weirdest dream that you were pregnant!" Joyce smiled and shook her head. Buffy just laughed nervously before admitting the truth, "It wasn't a dream!" Joyce's eyes dropped, "I knew that was too good to be true!" Buffy helped her mother up and Buffy sat back down on the bed.  
  
"I am assuming this came to you as a shock?" The doctor stood there with his mouth open with a dumb expression Buffy felt like giving him the evil eye but focused her attention in her mother.  
  
"Well duh she is only sixteen!" Buffy laughed at her mother's use of the word duh but got daggers from her mother for laughing and immediately shut up.  
  
"So who's the father Buffy, God do you even know who the father is!" Joyce's shock turned into anger.  
  
"Of course I do, I don't sleep around if that's what you mean! Mom I don't think this is the place.." But Buffy was interrupted by Joyce's shaking hand pointing at her furiously, " It's Angel isn't, I knew he'd take advantage of you!" She was really mad and Buffy knew she was so grounded.  
  
"Well if it helps he proposed!" Buffy had forgotten that for a long time, that would have made their seperation after the cancer harder considering she had said yes.Then a big "oops" face came over Buffy.  
  
"Was that before or after you two slept together, does he even know?" Joyce was having a major freak-out in Buffy's perspective. Suddenly Joyce bolted at Buffy. Buffy moved back expecting a slap of some sort, instead came a warm embrace followed with tears.  
  
"Oh my baby is having a baby!" Joyce wailed for a bit leaving Buffy in complete and total shock! Okay who are you and what have you done with my mother.  
  
"Not that I am happy you aren't mad right now but what's wrong with you?" Buffy backed up a bit giving Joyce to space to explain.  
  
"You don't have cancer, Buffy you aren't in remission!" She smiled and went in for another hug and Buffy welcomed it with open arms. "A child, it was something I never thought you would have and now you get that chance, I shouldn't be mad, I should rejoice in our good fortune!"  
  
"Okay mom are you on any medications?" Buffy still freaking out.  
  
" I am not letting you off the hook completely though! You did get pregnant at sixteen but that's over and done with now we have to help you get through this. A child is a lot of work I hope you understand that. Maybe it would be wise to give it up for adoption?" Joyce looked as Buffy's face dropped completely draining all the colour from her face, "zHow could you even think that, its your own grandchild for heaven's sake!" Buffy couldn't believe what her mother had suggested.  
  
"You two obviously have a lot to talk about so I will leave you to it, Buffy would like to see you monthly to see how things are. Well bye," Shaking his head he left the room. Man does that family have issues, he thought to himself.  
  
Glaring at her feet Buffy mumbled a "let's just go" and the two strided out of the office. Buffy glanced around the room and saw all the shocked faces. She didn't know they had had an audience, she would have worn make-up she thought sarcastically, shooting icy glares at the nosy people.  
  
The car ride was pretty much, silent. No words were spoken. It was pretty obvious that Joyce wanted bUffy to give up her baby. In a way Buffy understood where her mother was coming from. A baby is a big responsibility not to mention expensive and tiring and it would have an effect on her mother and her kid sister who would be an aunt at the mere age of five. And there would be no more late clubbing nights at the Bronze and carefree responsibilities.  
  
Then again the baby was hers, her flesh and blood and that of which she loved so dear, Angel. He had a right to his child and he was legally eighteen. Whatever was now growing in her flat abdomen she already was falling in love with it. Though it felt like it was barely there she could feel it, her maternal instincts were kicking in and she would do anything to keep this baby safe. First thing tomorrow she would break the news to her friends and tell Giles that she would temporarily be leaving the slaying field for a new chapter in her life, motherhood. It came all too soon but not that she had it, she wouldn't give it up for the world, literally. That's what scared her the most, what ever was inside her, she was willing to risk the world for it.  
  
The car stopped in the driveway and the crickets were all that could be heard. Her mother was furiously rubbing her temples, unable to think. Buffy squirmed in her seat not sure if she should leave or stay.  
  
"Buffy, I am sorry." Joyce still hadn't looked Buffy in the eye.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"How could I even think about you giving up your baby, I am awful, an awful mother and grandmother. Oh Buffy, I don't want my grand baby being raised by strangers, I just want you to have a normal life." Joyce played with the hem of her jacket crying out of guilt and shame.  
  
"So do I mom, but obstacles come and I have to deal, this baby maybe unexpected but it's here now and I am going to do what I do best, I am going to deal." Buffy looked into her mothers eyes and smiled. Unexpectedly her mother smiled.  
  
"I think we have a lot of baby shopping tomorrow so why don't we go inside and you get some rest so you and my grandchild are okay to shop till we drop!"  
  
"Oh mom!" Buffy took her mother into a warm embrace, her mom knew just what to do to make things better!  
  
Buffy scampered up to her room saying goodnight to Dawnie by kissing her on the head and tucking her in. Dawn would be her training in motherhood. As she got back into her room she flicked on the lights and slid into her silk pajama's her mother had bought her from LaSenza. Across the way Angel lay on his bed watching her through the corner of his eye out the window. She was the essence of sexy. Her bronzed curves, the late night messy hair, and her chiseled abs. He felt himself chuckle at the idea of him almost being a pedophile prying on a minor. His daydreams were suddenly interrupted when she ran to the bathroom yet again throwing up.  
  
Angel stroked the picture of him and Buffy on a pier in Los Angeles before she had cancer. Those were to days. Buffy came back into the room and closed the lights retreating to her bed. Had she been crying? More than anything he wanted to comfort her. But how?  
  
Tossing and turning in her dreams she screamed, "Angel, oh God Angel!" Unexpectedly she felt herself being grasped by two firm hands.  
  
"Shh, shh, I'm here, I was dumb enough to stay away, but now I am here." Angel looked down at her, the beads of sweat rolling down her face.  
  
"You're just a dream" Buffy rolled away from Angel.  
  
"I am as real as you, and very mush enjoying the sight of you in silk!" He had a cocky grin grow across his broad face.  
  
"Oh God Angel, it's you isnt it?" Buffy smiled.  
  
"See, one cocky remark and you know it's me! Should I think about that or just kiss you!" Angel leaned in towards her.  
  
"Make with the smoochies, buster!" She leaned in tilting her head towards his wanting him more than ever. At first it was a small closed mouth kiss until Angel's tounge pryed open her mouth making it more passionate.  
  
"We have to stop I feel too weird!" She smiled and let out a giggle just earning a confused look from Angel.  
  
"Number one of the continual wierdness, Mom in the room next door, Number two; not in front of the kids!" She smiled hoping he would catch on.  
  
"Buffy Dawn is in your mother's room and is barely old enough to understand what make-out sessions are, besides I can kiss my fiancée any way I want to!" He traced the line of her jaw allowing a couple strands of her hair to fall onto them.  
  
"I wasn't speaking about Dawnie. Angel, I have known you all of my life and it wasn't recently until we hooked up er physically, but I love you with all of my heart, as a best friend, as my protector and as my lover. I don't know how to say this, before I tell you, tell me you love me and you won't leave me."  
  
"Never, I will never leave you and you know I love you. Buffy, what's wrong? What happened did the doctor say something?" Buffy suddenly stood up Angel following after her.  
  
"Give me your hand." Buffy took his outstretched hand and placed it on her flat abdomen. "Say hello to your baby Angel." She smiled waiting for a reaction. He just stood there with rubbing his hand up and down her stomach. A tear fell from his eyes.  
  
"Please don't say you are sad Angel, I don't think I could take it."  
  
"I have never been more happy in my entire life Buffy!" He swooped her up in his large arms like a prince carrying his princess. Laying her down on the bed he smothered her in kisses then placed his head gently on her stomach. "I am not hurting you or the baby am I?" he looked up desperately.  
  
"Of course not." She smiled. She was so happy he was there to protect her.  
  
"I am going to be here every step of the way Buffy! I promise."  
  
"So being the sixteen year old I am, what do you want a boy or a girl?"  
  
"You know iw ould fall in love with it either way! But I secretly want a little girl? Why?" Angel looked puzzled as her lips curled into a smile.  
  
"Cause I know it's a baby girl, call it woman's intuition."  
  
"I can't believe you are a woman already, you used to be that girl and ow you are my woman having my child. Anything else in that bag of tricks to keep me falling for you?"  
  
"You will just have to stick around to find out!" Angel lifted his head and the make-out session began! Buffy moaning with pleasure as Angel lavished her with kisses.  
  
"Buffy Anne Summers what in the devil is going on?" Her very angered mother was standing in the doorway. Angel slid off of her sixteen-year-old daughter and turned red out of embarrassment.  
  
"Mommy?" Buffy arched an eyebrow trying to cover herself up.  
  
"So you know I assume?"  
  
"Yes I do and I am thrilled. Joyce I now Hank isn't here so I want your permission to marry Buffy when she comes of age."  
  
" Angel dear I have known you forever and I know you are a great guy but this is big a baby is big are you ready for that. No more dates, or partying.  
  
"Who needs partying when you have the woman you love and your child asleep in your arms?" Joyce sighed he was a charmer.  
  
"It's going to be really hard trying not to like you!" Jocye smiled at Buffy then at him, "If you are going to help and support her and the baby, and if Buffy wants to you may marry my daughter. You always were family!" She looked at Angel's eager expressioin.  
"Thank-you, thank-you Mrs. Summers!" HE ran and gave her a hug.  
  
"That's mom to you, but don't expect that grandchild of mine to call me grandma i am way too young for that."  
  
"Goodnight you two, Angel could you please take the floor I'd be more comfortable!"  
  
"Right! Gotcha!" Angel smiled taking a pillow.  
  
"My mom is so cool!" Buffy announced and smiled, the next nine months were sure to be a thrill. 


	15. I can only imagine

I Can Only Imagine  
  
Buffy rolled on her side, Angel's hand firmly around her stomach, her now, puffy abdomen bulging from her Pj's. Today was the day, one hundred and eighty days since she had first been pregnant, and boy had it been a trip. Buffy closed her eyes and could only imagine what it could have been like for Angel.  
  
The day after the news.  
  
"You're beautiful you know!" Angel's big brown orbs staring into her own.  
  
"Hey where did that come from Angel, my stomach is swelled, my complexion is pale.."  
  
"Yet you've never been more beautiful. You have a certain glow"  
  
"I think it's because everything that was never supposed to happen to me, is turning out the way ti should be." Buffy let out a small giggle and was pulled into Angel's strong arms.  
  
"Where would I be without you?" Angel asked not noticing Buffy's look of surprise on her face as her mother stood in the doorway.  
  
"On the floor." Joyce said blankly staring at Angel, "Come on you two breakfast is ready and Buffy is eating for two now." Joyce left leaving Buffy in a fit of giggles from Angel's red tinge.  
  
"You really are something Angel!"  
  
"Yes I am and now I am your something." Angel took her hands and led her to the breakfast table.  
  
Month one  
  
"Oh God I am going to hurl!" Buffy jolted to the bathroom.  
  
"I thought it was morning sickness not all day sickness.!"  
  
"Hey you're not the one vomiting."  
  
"I know but."  
  
"Don't you but me!"  
  
"Buffy I wasn't.."  
  
" No I can't take it anymore who do you think you are harassing me like that?"  
  
"I wasn't, I was only trying to.."  
  
"Angel out get out! I have had enough of you"  
  
"But what did I."  
  
"Oh Angel I am so sorry it's these hormones they are driving me insane, oh take me back please." She was now in tears clinging to his jacket  
  
"Ok as long as you.."  
  
"Oh no you don't making me have to give you something so you'll stay."  
  
".finish a sentence.." Angel sighed and took Buffy into his arms and put his hand on her stomach, it was still little no bigger then the palm of his hand was her stomach extended.  
  
"Buffy Summers you make me so crazy, one could say I was whipped!" Buffy smirked and using her slayer powered strength, threw him on the bed and proceeded to lavish him in kisses.  
  
"We'll just see how whipped I can get you!"  
  
Month 3  
  
"Angela?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Brittney?"  
  
"Definitely not"  
  
"Roxy?"  
  
"Um..to fluffly"  
  
" Hey! I am just going to think that, that comment of yours had nothing in relation to my name?"  
  
"You know I love you're name Buffy it's just."  
  
"Never mind..Jenny?"  
  
"No way!"  
  
"Randy, Roshni, Rachel, riley?"  
  
"Wait, go back!"  
  
"Roshni? Angel I don't think.."  
  
"No not that one the other one."  
  
"Rachel?"  
  
"Yeah.Rachel.I like it, it's solid yet sweet.  
  
"Besides there are many nickname possibilities!"  
  
"But of course."  
  
"The only thing we have to do now is ask her."  
  
"Buffy we don't even know if it's going to be a her!"  
  
"Yes I do. Now ask."  
  
"Um okay," He placed his ear to her revaled stomach, "Baby how about we call you Rachel?" Suddenly her stomach moved a bit causing Buffy to laugh.  
  
"I think she likes it!"  
  
"I think she does."  
  
"So what are they doing about school?"  
  
Angel looked at her intent on finding out, "They've kicked me out. Apparently a pregnant girl doesn't make a good role model." She looked sad, almost heartbroken.  
  
"You'e saved all of their lives god damnit and this is how they reppay you.  
  
"It's the cross I bear."  
  
Month 4  
  
Buffy sat in a pile of shopping bags spread out on her bed. She was flipping trough magazines like nobody's business, circling cutsie little jumpers etc. Her baby shower was tomorrow and she had to tell her friends what she wanted.  
  
"Okay Will, this is about all I need."  
  
"Oh my god Buffy that's like 5 pages of stuff, I mean do you really need it all?" Willow ran her finger back and forth to the prices her eyes buldeing more and more.  
  
"Will? Please.for Rachel, your godchild?" Willow suddenly raised her eyes.  
  
"Oh Buffy, could I really be, I know I am jewish but I will teach her ewverything," Willow was hugging Buffy but making sure not to hurt her stomach.  
  
"I would be honored Willow, truly!"  
  
"And the Godfather?"  
  
"Xander but of course, you two are the best team!" Willow beamed, her and Xander were quite good together.  
  
"I say it's time to get ready!" Willow smiled. "The party's at eight, don't be late!"  
  
Willow tranced out the doors, while Angel entered.  
  
"She sure looks happy!"  
  
"I told her she could be the godparent along with Xander. Is that alright?"  
  
"More than alright they are perfect." Angel smiled.  
  
"Oh Angel I don't think anything could go wrong tonight. Now help zip be up, and be a doll and put my shoes on, I can't see my feet." Buffy stood up in her little black maternity dress and stood by Angel. His fingers caressed the bronzed skin of her back, still so silky smooth. He zipped it up and helped her with the shoes.  
  
"We should get going they are almost ready." Angel took her hand and led her to the car.  
  
When they got to the Bronze, which they had rented for the night, presents were everywhere. Buffy's eyes lit up.  
  
"Guys! You shouldn't have!" She gleamed from cheek to cheek until she glanced at the corner of the room. There stodd a very tall brunette in the corner.  
  
"Who is there?" Buffy looked worried and guarded her stomach with her hands. Angel came up from behind her and held her tight. Stepping out of the shadows came someone Buffy knew all too well. Angel's Ex..Cordelia.  
  
"What are you doing her!" Buffy almost screamed.  
  
"My my have you gotten fat, geeze Buffy what happened cheerleaders kicked you off the team, because you're pregnant. You are just a child you know.. Playing with a man. A man who never really loved you but felt obligated, to you and that thing." She gestured to her stomach, causing buffy to give her an icy glare. "Silly little girl, Angel and I we had the best sex he'll ever had. We had it over and over and over again all while you were dying with cancer. I blew his mind. Buffy I don't like when you play with my toys. But yours is coming, that child of yours, will be the downfall of us all but I won't let that happen you see. I'll kill it before it even has a chance to breath." Suddenly Cordelia's face turned into that of a vampre darting at Buffy. Angel tried to help her but he was just too weak. Cordelia put a gash to Buffy's head but not before Xander put a steak through her heart.  
  
"What was that all about?" Xander looked around confused that Cordelia was a vamp and Buffy's child would be the downfall of demons.  
  
"Oh god Buffy," Angel went to her side but she had already gotten up.  
  
"I don't know but I am sure as hell going to find out. I am fine really. Let's sweep up those ashes and through them out." Willow tossed her a broom and she began to sweep while the rest gave the two some space.  
  
"So it's true you were with Cordelia when we broke up."  
  
"Yes it is, but Buffy I didn't know you had cancer, I didn't know anything."  
  
"It's fine, It's in the past really. Let's just celebrate, I am sick of vampires ruining my parade!"  
  
Month 5  
  
"Buffy I have to tell you something." Joyce looked nervously at her daughter.  
  
"What mom?"  
  
"Dawn and i.we, we are moving, to L.A it's much safer down there and I can't expose Danw to you and Angel constantly going at it. If you two are going to be responsible adults and have a family you need to have a house of your own."  
  
"I can't afford to live her mom, not with the baby coming."  
  
"You won't have to. Giles is moving to England, and is giving you two his house and he is paying for the house until Angel gets a steady job."  
  
"So that's it. You are leaving me?"  
  
"I'll always be with you. You know that Buffy but right now it's too hard for me and your sister."  
  
"And it's not hard for me, being sixteen and pregnant?"  
  
"That was your decision. I want you both out of the house by tomorrow."  
  
"Goodbye mom."  
  
"I love you." But Buffy just kept walking.  
  
Present  
  
What an adventure it had been. From the mood swings to the Erie visit of a vamped Cordelia, prophesizing her unborn child a savior. She can only imagine. Suddenly Angel stirred beside her.  
  
"I love waking up to that face of yours!"  
  
"Thanks, I can only guess that I am all oily."  
  
"You are beautiful."  
  
"And you are sweet now shut up and get me out of this bed." Buffy outstretched her arms and Angel grabbed her off the bed. Her stomach was very large but not quite developed at the right stage.  
  
"Angel." Buffy stated wearily clinging to his arm, "I feel dizzy." Suddenly Buffy collapsed on the floor Angel quickly grabing her so she didn't hurt herself or the baby.  
  
"Buffy, Buffy? Oh god!" He rushed her body to the car. The doctor's said her pregnancy wasn't going to be easy but he never said she might not make it through.  
  
AN: Hi guys omg I have left this soooo long but I finally have inspiration.. DO NOT worry it is a happy ending so don't b mad for all the angst or w/e cuz it will have a happy ending with BA!!!!!!!!!!! 


	16. Waiting

Waiting  
  
"I need a doctor! Somebody please, she needs help." He frantically ran through the corridors of the hospital, shouting at the nurses and other paramedics. Her head flopping up and down against his chest. Her exposed stomach made Angel's heart sting even more. Not only was Buffy's life on the line but his firstborn child's, Rachel.  
  
"Sir you need to calm down. Now what is wrong with her, and who is she?" A nurse finally stopped him.  
  
"She's six months along, uh I found her this morning, she collapsed. I.I don't understand. She needs help please." Angel laid her on the stretcher and kissed her hand before leaving.  
  
"Sir, we need her name?" The nurse's words rung in his ears.  
  
"Her name is Buffy, Buffy O'Connor." ( his, and only his.  
  
Twiddling his fingers her nervously sat in the waiting room. His shirt was soaked with sweat, from the panic. The doctor's had told him she would have complications due to her tender age, but he never could imagine that her life would be the cost they would have to pay. Things were finally coming together and to have it all ripped away would be torturous. He couldn't focus on death at the moment. It was too dark, too scary, and too recent. So he picked one of his favorite memories and played it through his mind over and over until he thought it was reality. He called Willow and Xander. They had gone to a resort for the weekend but he was sure they wouldn't mind.  
  
He finally caught sight of a flaming red from the doorway. She ran towards him arms outstretched, despite his cold demenor he stood up to greet her.  
  
"Oh Angel, you poor dear." She wrapped her arms around him, Xander looking a bit jealous but quickly eased off.  
  
"I never liked you, but Angel, man, I am so sorry. I truly hope that things turn out your way." Xander shook his hand and for now that's all Angel needed to hear.  
  
" She's strong you know." Angel looked up at Willow a bit confused.  
  
"You know she'll make it through this. She always does!" Willow gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed Angel's hand a bit.  
  
"I know what you mean she always was the strongest out of the two of us I mean." Angel smiled vaguely remember little Buffy kicking sand in Jason's face on the first day of grade one. She sure was a troublemaker.  
  
"I remember when you first came to see her, you know after her birthday, she was over the moon Angel." Willow tried her best to make him feel better.  
  
"Thanks Will, but it will be alright won't it?"  
  
"Duh!" Willow laughed at the trademark Buffy word.  
  
"Um excuse me but one of you wouldn't happen to be a Mr. O'Connor would you?" A male doctor stepped out from the critical ward.  
  
" That would be me!" Angel got up immediately to follow the doctor to a little quieter space.  
  
" You're wife, she is doing okay but the baby's heart is in distress, we are going to have to perform a sea-section." Angel nodded in compliance.  
  
" Now if we aren't able to save the baby it's slim that Buffy will die, however, the loss of a child to any mother is a very emotional deal, I warn you to be prepared."  
  
"I am. And doctor, please protect my girls?" Angel stated the doctor looked at him, he was the mere age of 18 but looked like a father already.  
  
"I will do my best sir. She is awake would you like to speak to her before the surgery. You have about five minutes?"  
  
"Yes. Please."  
  
The doctor lead him into a little white room. Everything was so bright, so clean, so empty. In the middle of the room Buffy was on her bed, barely awake, tears streaming down her cheeks. The doctor must have told her the news.  
  
" Angel? Oh god Angel, the baby, she can't die, she just can't." Buffy was shaking her head violently.  
  
"Never I won't let anything happen to her or you. Ever."  
  
"I've never felt like this."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like if she dies, I die too, like I would do anything for her, it's so strong so beautiful. And if it leaves, I just don't know what I'll do."  
  
"I know the feeling."  
  
"Do you? Do you really?"  
  
"I think I do." Angel realized.  
  
"Then I'll fight, she's going to make it." Buffy smiled.  
  
"She has too."  
  
"For you." Buffy heaved.  
  
"For you."  
  
"For the world." Buffy remembered what a once vamped Cordelia had told her.  
  
"I am sorry to cut this short but we have to move this show on the road." The doctor set up Buffy's stretcher and started to wheel her out of the room.  
  
"I love you" She mouthed.  
  
"I love you too" Angel called. And all her saw was Buffy being taken out of the doors and she was gone. Vanished. The last image he saw of her and his child was carried out those white doors and all he had to do now was wait. 


	17. The first

The First  
  
Buffy looked around the room one last time before the doctor's busily shoved a gas mask over her face. She began to get dizzy and nauseous almost ready to vomit. Until it was silent, nothing but blackness. She could tell she was in a dream-like state. And then she heard it. And then she saw it. Her and her mother. Laughing? Playing? Together?  
  
"Buffy, sweetie it's okay don't be afraid. It's nicer over there, you will like it."  
  
"Mommy? What are we doing here?" The silhouette of a small child turned around to face total darkness then faced the tunnel of light once more.  
  
"It's okay baby, come on mommy has a present for you but we have to go down the tunnel!" Joyce outstretched her arms from  
  
"Mommy I don't like the light, it burns." The little girl crossed her arms.  
  
" Come on baby it's aright, it will all be over in a couple of minutes."  
  
"Okay mommy but only if I get an ice cream after this." Little- Buffy outstretched her hand ready to take Joyce's but before that could happen Buffy's thought's kicked in.  
  
"Oh will this saga ever end?" The older Buffy came hurdling out of the shadows.  
  
"Buffy?" Her mother asked.  
  
"Yes mom?" Both Buffy's replied with a look of confusion.  
  
"You can't touch her you know, she alone will decide where to go." Joyce stated  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You can't stop her from leaving."  
  
"You can't mom! If I think that tunel leads to where I think it leads.the baby."  
  
"Precisily"  
  
The true Buffy looked aghast. Her mother didn't like the idea of the baby but she would never kill her and the baby.  
  
"You.you aren't my mother."  
  
"Mommy what Is going one?" The little Buffy inquired still fiddling with her dolly's hair.  
  
"The mean lady wants you to go to the dark, come with mommy come to the light."  
  
"What are you!" Buffy yelled.  
  
"That which you cannot control." Joyce smiled smugly.  
  
"Why do you want this?"  
  
"Can't you see you stupid girl, that baby will be the downfall of us all. She's really just not meant to be."  
  
"You, you monster! Using my mother's body, manipulating a younger version of me you are are."  
  
"The first."  
"The what?"  
  
"Oh don't worry you will never have to face the likes of me, you'll be dead by then, but your child she will and she just might succeed and we can't have that now can we? Buffy baby come on mommy's going to buy you a giant sundae with sprinkles!"  
  
"A Sundae? With sprinkles!" The little girl's smile grew as she grabbed what looked like Joyce's hand.  
  
"No, Buffy don't go to the light! She is tricking you!" Buffy's voice was frantic, her life depended on a sundae.  
  
"Mommy the lady says you are being tricky."  
  
"Baby the lady is jealous she want's the light too."  
  
"Well she can't have it, it's mine." Little Buffy sprang to the light.  
  
"Nooo!!!!!!!!!" Buffy screamed and whaled almost. And with that her eyes sprung open. She looked around trying to feel her stomach but she was so stiff so tired she just couldn't. She looked around the room then stopped.  
  
"My god." Her breath was caught in her throat. She smiled and heaved a sigh of relief. In the corner of the room in a rocking chair was Angel. And in his arms was a small rosy, pink bundle of blankets with slivers of flesh poking out of them and a tiny pink cap. A little arm fell over the blanket and onto Angel's big one. Both were asleep, both were smiling. Just then Willow dodged by the room.  
  
"Buffy you're still here!" She smiled and gave Buffy a big hug, still whispering.  
  
"I am."She sniffled tears of joy in her eyes, " and so is she." Buffy nodded toward the baby in Angel's arms.  
  
"You should have seen him when they carried her out to him. He almost fell of his chair he was so nervous. His hands engulfed her whol body, you know she's a premature baby and so tiny. He was so careful, so scared to hurt her. HE sat there and whispered her name over and over and then something about , you're as beautiful as mommy is. And then he asked about you. I swear if he wasn't taken I would ditch Xander and straight to him." Willow smiled to show Buffy she was only kidding and Xander was the one for her.  
  
"I can only imagine, I wish I was there when he first got to hold her." Buffy sighed.  
  
"Willow I there is something I need to tell you."  
  
"Anything?"  
  
"I..I had a dream. It wasn't good."  
  
"What was it?"  
  
"A thing called, the first? It was trying to convince me to go to heaven, to die, and kill the baby, it wanted to kill Rachel."  
  
"Buffy it was just a dream."  
  
"Will, Slayer's dream's are a lot different from human's."  
  
" But Faith is the slayer right now, you're in retirement."  
  
"Still.'  
  
"I will try to do a protecting spell but its only temporary."  
  
"We need all the help we can get, I think a lot is coming Willow, and it scares me."  
  
Willow gulped, Buffy is not easily scared. 


	18. If Only They Knew

Happy Times  
  
Author's Note: Man oh man you all must be very pissed off with me..lol pardon my obscene language however I haven't left this story for ever. Well hey I am trying to continue if it is crap I apologize...I am trying to get back into the groove. OH BTW!!! Did you all know that the two very first chapters are actually under the heading "Why you look so sad" I will be adding them in after. So anywho off I go rambling insanely about my intricate Ideas.!!!!  
  
If Only He Knew  
  
If it is even possible Buffy Summers was able to push away her dark dreams, that fateful day that her and Angel's beloved daughter, Rachel Kathleen Summers was born. The First, she wasn't sure if it was all a figment of her imagination or one of her prophesied dreams. Either way she tried desperately to conceal them from Giles so that he wouldn't treat Rachel as the next Two-day-old-green-stuff- growing science fair project. Oddly enough Willow was the only one that knew her true fears and the truth behind her treacherous dreams that proceeded for five months after the birth. The dreams would sneak up on her slowly at first but more rapidly as time went on. Hitting her like waves of heat causing her brain to black-out with seering pain flashing across her face. Images, horrible, distorted images of her daughter in black and white. But she was older, fourteen about. Her hair dark and tarnished, her features pale and weak, gashes graced her slender form. Angel weeping and then a tombstone but everytime she got closer to the end of the dream, just that much closer to finding out whose tombstone it was, she'd wake up, cold and on the ground. They stopped five years ago. She never did find out whose name was on that tombstone but she never wanted to see the images again.  
  
Willow had been doing some undercover research but it seemed somewhat hopeless. There was no material every found on this, "First" thing. Maybe it was all just a bad dream but her instincts told her otherwise. Buffy glanced out the window, closing the journal firmly in her lap as the pen rolled to the side. With no one to talk to about her haunting dreams, her journal became a vent for her to help find some sort of reasoning to her madness. Her thoughts were quickly interrupted by a bounding five year old jumping into the room on her daddy's back. The little girl out stretched her arms to her mother and Angel swung her over his shoulder and handed her to Buffy.  
  
"Mommeeee!" She errupted in giggles that Angel was oh too familiar with.  
  
"What's up baby, is daddy being bad?" Buffy winked and gave Angel a coy smile.  
  
"Me?" he stated heartily, "Never."  
  
"He wouldn't play tea party with me." Rachel gave her mother a pout but it hadn't worked on Buffy. She straightened up and taped her on the nose.  
  
"You know daddy is very busy, he has an interview tomorrow and has to prepare." Rachel sighed and climbed off her mommy's lap.  
  
" Sorry munchkin' I have to get money from somewhere to pay for that wedding dress your mother bought."  
  
"That was a pretty dress, I want to wear it when I get married." Rachel beamed.  
  
"Not until you are forty-four young-lady!" Angel said sternly making Buffy crack into a smile.  
  
"well come on now Angel she will be dating soon!" Buffy stated and saw angel's eyes buldge.  
  
"Buffy she is five."  
  
"I was five when I waned to date you" She smiled once more as Angel leaned in to give her a passionate kiss when a noise came from the back of the room.  
  
"Yeeeeeeuk!!!!!" Rachel made a face of disgust.  
  
"Willow's sure she can baby-sit tonight!?" Angel looked with pleading eyes.  
  
"She will be here round' eight!"  
  
"Thank-god!" Angel sighed," Well I have to go prepare, be ready for eight!"  
  
" Sure thing! Now, Sweetie what should mommy wear?" Rachel's eyes light up, dressing mommy was always fun.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Buffy approached the stairs of their two-story home, blond curls cascading down her shoulders with a slender red dress sticking to her body like a second skin. At the mere age of 21 Buffy was her own woman. Angel's breath was taken away. She was beautiful on their wedding night, but she was simply hott tonight. He couldn't wait to get that dress off of her, but he knew he would have to be somewhat persuasive. They were going to the BRONZE a place they hadn't been since Rachel was born. Angel and Buffy were meeting up with his younger brother Spike who was also 21. Angel hadn't seen him in years and thought it was a good opportunity to show off his dazziling wife. Not to mention his munchkin', Rachel. He might have wanted this night to be just him and Buffy but his wallet was bulging with baby pictures.  
  
"Wow." He said simply.  
  
"Thank your daughter, she picked it out. She said red was daddy's favorite colour." Buffy laughed.  
  
"Shall we?"  
  
"We Shall"  
  
"Goodnight sweetheart," Angel whispered into the 2ft. 3 child's ear, he curly brown hair covering her emerald green eyes.  
  
" goodnite father, mommy. Willow and I are very busy, she is going to float candles and I am going to watch." Rachel ran off not seeming the least bit attached to her parents as they were to her.  
  
"They grow up so fast!" Willow smiled.  
  
"Yeah soon she will be wanting to highlight her hair" Buffy murmured.  
  
"Or get a boyfriend!" angel said coldly and Buffy just laughed in his ear, "tonight will be ours." She whispered. Was she coming on to him? He liked it that was for sure.  
  
When the two reached the Bronze, arm in arm, every man and women were jealous. They were young, married and dare I say it damn hott. Buffy held her head his in pride while Angel possessively p his hand around her waist and shot cold stares at all the man scanning over Buffy's body. Angel spotted Spike and dashed over.  
  
"Spike!" Buffy blurted out after seeing the now very muscular, blond haired man. "Is that really you, you look so different! You look good." She blushed and gave him a friendly hug.  
  
"Buffy Summers." He whispered her name like it was sacred. Buffy was now a bit uncomfortable, Spike had had the biggest crush on her for years. "You look, well you look ." She was very sexy in that little dress but then he came to Angel's hand. Ah yes, he older brother, Buffy's fascination, even as children he was her favorite. He couldn't seem to think why, Angel wasn't as poetic as he. "Nice." He finally decided on instead of his initial thought. "And Angel mate, nice to see you once again, haven't heard of you since you left the Hyperion when you were eighteen."  
  
"It was an emergency really, I am sorry to have left the family like that." He gave a small shy but spike had noticed that he was fiddling with some ring. Was he trying to make it that obvious that he and Buffy were married? He decided to play along, " Oh Angel are you married?" he stated daftly.  
  
Angel's face light up, "Why, yes Buffy and I were married but a year ago."  
  
"Congratulations!" Spike put on a fake smile, " Got any rugrats yet."  
  
"Just one, her name is Rachel" Buffy handed him a picture.  
  
Spike scanned the face, so much like Buffy but the dark hair was definitely Angel's and the emotion of the eyes belonged to him as well. She was a beautiful child. "She is beautiful really."  
  
"Thanks" Angel beamed with pride.  
  
Finally a song started to play and Spike had the chance to escape and find a dance partner before he gagged on how prefect their lives were. If only he knew their constant struggle to keep their marriage going or what they had had to overcome over the years. If only he had known about buffy's cancer and Angel's shock of finding out that Buffy was the slayer let alone pregnant. If only he knew.  
  
Buffy and Angel quickly picked up on the song and smiled when they heard the lyrics. It was their relationship in a nutshell really.  
  
Why Can't I? Lyrics- Liz phair.  
  
Get a load of me, get a load of you  
  
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you  
  
It's just like we were meant to be  
  
Holding hands with you, and we're out at night  
  
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right  
  
And I've got someone waiting too  
  
This is, this is just the beginning  
  
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming  
  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
  
So tell me  
  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
  
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up  
  
Finding someone else you can't get enough of  
  
Someone who wants to be with you too  
  
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch  
  
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch  
  
But wouldn't it be beautiful  
  
Here we are, we're at the beginning  
  
We haven't fucked yet, but heads spinning  
  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
  
So tell me  
  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
  
I'd love for you to make me wonder  
  
Where it's goin'  
  
I'd love for you to pull me under  
  
Somethin's growin'  
  
for this that we can control  
  
Baby I am dyin'  
  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
  
So tell me  
  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
  
The song stopped. Buffy's neck was inserted in the nook of Angels. They were clinging to each other as if the song had deeply touched them. Angel was constantly stroking Buffy's smooth arm whispering sweet nothings into her ear. They were the image of what every one in that room desired. Spike left quickly after the song. It was as though it was a mad dash to the door. If he saw them together any longer he might just loose it as would the rest. It was so simple for them, this "Love" thing. Everything just seemed to fall into place for them. The child, the love, the physical yearning it was perfect. If only they knew. 


	19. Buffy Summers O'Connor

The excitement from the last night coursed through her veins like a much-needed poison. Her head filled with lovely thoughts of her husbands muscular and oh so perfect body. The thought of making love to him over and over again was enough to make her want to wake him from his peaceful sleep. She automatically felt the comforting weight of her husband's arm grace her torso. With the sense of security her eyes fluttered shut and she began to drift off to dream land.  
  
She was running, always running in her dream, in a dark and dreary setting, enclosed by gates and stone. She felt so familiar but so strange. It had been awhile since she had slain a vampire and she feared she was becoming rusty. Angel was there, they were holding hands, swinging Rachel back and forth. Then it came again the running the pain, the screams, the smell of death. She felt a searing pain hit her chest. Angel was weeping, her daughter looked so confused, but where was she? Why couldn't she help them? Another pain washed over her, making her whole body arch. Whit light flashed before her eyes and right before she woke up a name flashed like lightening shawdowing, a dark stone..a grave.  
  
She awoke with a scream, clutching her chest, a scratch above her heart, dripping droplets of blood. Angel was already by her side, arms wrapped around his 21 yr old bride. He hadn't noticed the blood yet, but she was rocking back and forth like a small child.  
  
"God, honey what is it?!" he noticed the blood and tore his white tank top and tried to absorb the small amount of blood that was proceeding to drench her shirt. It wasn't life threatening, barely a scratch, but it was something.  
  
With one single solitarty phrase everything was starting to make sense. Buffy lifted her head and looked up at him with pale hazel eyes, "Buffy Summers O'Connor." 


	20. Gone!

GONE  
  
"Baby, I don't understand?" Angel asked worriedly.  
  
"It's okay Angel, I know what's supposed to happen. I have to do this." Buffy said strongly. The voice she used when she announced she was going to declare a battle to the death.  
  
"Do what?" angel inquired.  
  
"I am not sure yet but when I do, know that I love you?" Buffy searched his eyes. Angel didn't understand he wouldn't until it happened.  
  
"I promise. Now are you okay?"  
  
"Yes, of course I am fine." She smiled and snuggled in closer to him, all the while trying to fight off the need for a good cry of pity for herself. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a bounding tot, running into the room.  
  
"Mama? Why ya crying?" Rachel hopped of the bed landing in the middle of Buffy and Angel. Angel grinned and riggled in closer to his two girls. Rachel giggled and tossed her curly brown hair aside.  
  
"Mommy's fine sweety I just had a bad dream." Buffy sighed and looked away. Angel new about the dreams, not their content but the fact that she kept having them. It raised his concern that they were starting up again five years after Rachel's birth.  
  
"Daddy! Let's go make breaky." Rachel bounded off the bed and Angel caught her arm.  
  
"Slow down peanut. We have to get the O.K from your mother!" angel looked to Buffy. It was obvious that she had a lot on her mind.  
  
"Yes, it's fine but don't make a mess! And not too much chocolate angel, we can't keep giving into her!" Buffy pointed her finger specifically at Rachel to let her know that her father wouldn't be bending to her every whim.  
  
"Ugh, but it's so hard to resist those big hazel eyes of hers."Angel whined and scooped Rachel up putin gher atop his shoulders.  
  
"I'll drive her to school then I have to go to work. I'll see you later then?"  
  
"Of course!"  
  
After they left Buffy went to the phone and began to rapidly punch numbers into the phone. "Giles??"she waited for a response, "I think it's begun." Buffy stuffed random materials into her bag and began to pack, "As long as I am here I am a threat to their well being. I can't do this, I can't put the people I love the most in danger by just being here." He spoke and she proceeded, "Yes I have had the dream again. It was as clear as day, something is coming for me and I don't want them to be a round when it does. I am leaving. I can't be here." "No Giles, I can't wait until we know what this means, I looked at them today, both so happy, if I stay they will die." With that she hung up and grabbed her luggage. She tore a family picture off the wall and some baby photos and opened the window. With one last glance around the room she left.  
  
As she snuk by the window she saw Angel and Rachel at the counter with mounds of flour on the tops of their heads, and dashes on their cheeks. Angel was smiling and Rachel shoved ounces of chocolate in her mouth. ' He'll do just fine raising her. How couldn't he.' She wiped a tear from her face and ran as fast as she could.not knowing where she was going just knowing that she had to be Gone.  
  
AN:  
  
I know it's really short but I am putting many many installements so the overall chapter should be finished today anyways! 


	21. Surprise!

Surprise  
  
"We maked good panecakes hey da?" Rachel scrunched her nose up just like Buffy and angel's heart melted.  
  
"We sure do sweetie!" Angel pinched her little nose releasing the sweet echo of her innocent laughter.  
  
" Maybe Mommy would like some?" Rachel asked thoughtfully. " I don't want to go to school, the teachers don't like me cuz I am too rough with the boys, and the girls won't play with me cuz I am too much like a boy" Rachel sniffled.  
  
"Rachel, you have to go to school, mommy would kill me if I gave into you!"  
  
"Just fo today mama won't be mad!"  
  
"Okay baby we can both stay home today but tomorrow we must both go to work!"  
  
'But I miss mommy too much when we go!" Rachel pouted as Angel swept her up into his arms along with a mound of pancakes.  
  
"Me too baby, me too." He sighed. Anytime away from Buffy and Rachel was hard to bear.  
  
"Okay we will show mommee our pancakes in tree too one!! Surprise!" Rachel and Angel burst into the room with big smiles on their faces to only be faced with utter confusion. Angels and buffy's master bedroom was turned upside down, clothes were everywhere, and the bed was in shackles. The window was open and a cool breeze made the curtains shudder.  
  
Rachel looked around the room, "Mommy?"  
  
Angel ra over to the phone and dailed Giles' number. "Hello Giles, It's Buff I think she is in trouble! I think she was kidnapped."  
  
"Angel you must remain calm. Maybe she left out of her own free will."  
  
"No she wouldn't do that Giles, Rachel and I mean the world to her, or at least Rachel does. We are going out to find her we have to"  
  
"Now Angel do not do anything rash. She might not want to be found!"  
  
"What do you mean???" angel paused, "Giles do you know something about this? What are you hiding?"  
  
"Nothing, nothing."  
  
"Giles!!!"  
  
" She probably hasn't gone far, meet the gang at the magic shop, we will look for her in her old patrol spots at night fall. Angel, Buffy ran for a reason. If we find her it might have consequences."  
  
"I am willing to bear those consequences!"  
  
"Are you, are you really ready for super natural consequences?"  
  
"What are you saying."  
  
"I know what's to come I have read it, it's not a pretty road to travel down, angel listen to me what is to happen must happen for the salvation of the world."  
  
"You are forgetting that I am just a man and all that supernatural crap doesn't sway me. I need my wife and my daughter needs her mother. Goodbye giles, I shall see you at the shop."  
  
Meanwhile Buffy checked into the nearest motel six where she settled in for the night. She was going to go out that night and search for whatever was haunting her dreams, before it got her family. What was this "First" and what did it have to do with Rachel. Everything was starting to add up.  
  
Firstly she was supposed to die with the cancer, she was the slayer she wasnot to become fertile, but she did and she lived. Secondly vamped out cordelia kept ranting about Rachel being the end to her kind. And then the night before Rachel's birth the first came to her to kill the child before she was even born, now the dreams were haunting her sleep. Something was special about Rachel. What did they want with her.all Buffy knew was that they couldn't have her. 


	22. She's not the one

The Search is On  
  
Frantically searching around the house Angel picked up any thing that was lying around the house, in his path of destruction. Buffy always said she had hated a messy house. Everything reminded him of her. Even at her tender his bride became his source of strength for the laundry for, Rachel and for himself. She was his essence and she wouldn't be able to get away from him that easily.  
  
"Rach, sweetheart, it's time to go. Auntie Willow, and Uncle Xander are expecting us!" he desperately tried to hide the tone of his worry beneath a phony cheerful voice but his daughter was smarter than that. She reached out her small porcelain hand and tool his, lightly, the smoothness of her young hand warmed the rough pads of his own, forming a sense of security for him.  
  
"Don't worry daddy we'll find her!" She put on a bright smile and lead the way to the car.  
  
"Baby, what would I do without you, Huh?!" "You'd be a mess daddy, so it's a good thing that I am going to be around for a long long time." "Up we get, your mother awaits us!" Angel hoisted her small body into the car seat and buckled her up. Then they were off. When they got to the magic shop they were greeted with open arms.  
  
"Angel, I came as soon as I heard. I am sure there is a reason behind this. Trust me Buffy wouldn't just up and leave you and Rachel, she is better than that." Willow tried to sound as confident as possible but she couldn't hide the fact that she was having her doubts.  
  
"I know Wills, I know." Angel gave her a friendly hug and proceeded to sit at the table where Xander and Giles sat, with scattered books and parchment.  
  
"We have mapped out all of the locations and her old patrol spots. Xander and I will take this one, Willow and Faith will take this one and you can swing by Crawford's mansion. How's that?!"  
  
"What about Rachel?" Angel was so skeptical around all of this supernatural stuff. His wife, friends and daughter were all connected somehow. Giles the watcher, Buffy the slayer, Willow the witch, Xander..well Xander, and his daughter was strong and quite comfortable around scary things.  
  
"I dear I forgot. There is no one left to sit for her."  
  
"It's fine she can come with me." Angel stared down at the now sleeping child in the car seat he took out from the car.  
  
"Angel I don't think that is a good idea. Are you aware of all the dangers?"  
  
"If she is with me I know she is safe. Giles I need her with me!"  
  
"Alrgiht, but Angel."  
  
"Yes Giles?"  
  
"For Godsakes be careful and when you find her don't let her go." Giles took of his spectacles and started rubbing them.  
  
"Never," Angel mumbled as he ran out the door with the sleeping Rachel in his arms. When Xander and Giles arrived at their location they automatically noticed that Buffy had obviously already been there by the dispersed amounts of dust scattered on the eerily green grass. Suddenly lights flashed on in one of the tombs.  
  
"Giles.psst.giles!" Xander Yelled.  
  
"I am right here you ponce!"  
  
"Right. Anyways I think we have found a nest."  
  
"Great insight Xander!" Giles stated sarcastically. " Quick they might have informations."  
  
"Out of those dead heads!" Xander raised his voice.  
  
"Yes!!!" now would you please shut up!!" giles was becoming very irritated by the naïve prankster.  
  
"hahah, slayers got it all wrong. It's not her we want." The first demon settled down on the concert floor.  
  
"What do you mean it's not her" one of the denser demons spoke up.  
  
"The first, he has told me, that he has been tampering with the slayer's prophetic dreams!"  
  
"What do you mean, you say that our holiness, has tempered with her sub conscious?!"  
  
"Exactly. Well it's genius really. It's not her we want dead it's the earth savoir we want dead. It's that little brat of hers, the one they call Rachel." He made a fast of disgust then began to belt an evil chuckle.  
  
"We have to warn Angel and soon or Rachel might be dead!" Xander gulped down his breath and ran off into the distance leaving the demons to plot against the innocent child. 


	23. fulfilled

Fulfilled  
  
Angel wandered aimlsy in the graveyard with the inkling of hope that his highschool sweetheart would return to him and his daughter. The little bundle he called, Rachel, was contently sucking on her thumb observing her father's actions with a sense of curiosity. It dawned on him then that her clear eyes resembled that of her mothers. It only made the pang in Angel's heart worsen. He had to find her and fast.  
  
"Buffy! please sweety, we can talk about this, Buffy are you there?" Angel yelled out her name gently, getting nothins but his own echoing haunting him. Rachel who was strapped to his chest in a bouncer, ever so often he would stroke her cold cheek and give her a tight squeeze of reassurance. Underneath the fatherly aspect of his gestures it was also a sense of security for him.  
  
He rememebered when him and Buffy had just been kids. So careless, nothing concerned them, especially not this feeling they called, love. Was it better then? Were things better when he and Buffy had just been friends? Just friends, they were never just friends. Had she been better off with William? All his doubts clouded his mind.  
  
"Buffy are you here?" he tried once more.  
  
Buffy's head shot up. She has run to the mansion, the one where her and anfel first made love where she was cured but most importantly, where Rachel was conceived. He was there, she could feel it. His tall shadow stood in the doorway glancing at the nervous woman picking at the hem of her skirt.  
  
"Buffy." He let out a sigh of relief or frustration? She couldn't tell. She felt like a deer in the headlights. Caught in a situation she didn't know how to escape from. But did she really want to escape from the man who loved her? Her best friend, her lover, her husband? And what about their daughter Rachel, was she ready to give up the happy family she had built for herself. But she had to she was a threat to their security. As long as she was around they could be in danger and she wasn't that selfish.  
  
"Angel." She looked down ashamed.  
  
"Why?" was all he could say before Rachel woke up and began to become aware of her mother's presence.  
  
"Mommy?!" She sad, more of a question then a statement, "Mommy!! We found you!" Angel let her down and she ran towards her mother, Buffy scooping her up and holding her dear.  
  
"Yes sweetie you have, but mommy has to go now." She let Rachel down on the bed with a confused expression across her innocent face.  
  
"go, go where?" angel slightly raised his voice, since when had his marriage become so askew? Suddenly there was a lot of ruslting outside.  
  
"that's my call." Buffy said sadly brushing past angel. "Angel, keep her inside and at no time are you allowed to go outside until I come to get you. Understand."  
  
"Buffy what is going on here?"  
  
"It's my destiny." She sad sadly.  
  
"What your des.." but he was too late Buffy had already jolted out the door to whatever lay outside.  
  
"Daddy?" Rachel looked at him for answers but none came.  
  
"It's a nice night have some family bonding sorry we had to ruin it!" one of the vampires smirked trying to ruffle Buffy's feathers.  
  
"nah, it was kinda getting boring in there, but good news for you, I felt like kicking some ass tonight." Buffy lunged herself at the vampire and staked her quick.  
  
"well that wasn't so hard." She smiled with pride but quickly realized that it was too easy.  
  
"Oh but it will be slayer!" a group of three more male vampires came out of the bushes eager to attack.  
  
"Oh here we go, a testosterone party! That's more like it!" Buffy sighed and began to do what she does best, slay.  
  
Suddenly Angel heard cries of pain which sounded to be Buffy's. Angel couldn't take it anymore he would have to help her, he wasn't going to lose his wife, not after she had been given a second chance.  
  
"Honey stay here don't come after daddy? Promise?" Angel came to eye level with the little girl. She held out her little pinky finger and said, "I pinky square"  
  
"Good girl." And Angel made a mad dash for the door. There lurking in the shadows stood Buffy or what seemed to be Buffy calling the fake cries of pain.  
  
"Excellent, just how I wanted things to play, I love being so, evil?" the women possessing Buffy's voice had an evil smirk than disappeared like a ghost.  
  
When Angel finally reached Buffy she was swiftly beating 3 vamps off in a calm and relaxed fashion. How was it possible that she had been screaming  
  
"Angel what are you doing here?" she said between blows.  
  
"I heard you scream?"  
  
She looked up confused, " Where is Rachel?"  
  
A little girl cane up from behind Angel giving a big yawn, " I am right herre mommy!"  
  
"No Baby! Angel get her out of here now!" She said franticly.  
  
Suddenly Buffy heard a faint click only her slayer hearing could pick up on. She looked up at the threes noticing a demon with a crossbow, the arrow speeding towards the heart of her five year old daughter. In a slow motion fashion, Buffy ran and dove infront of her daughter, taking the arrow to the heart. Her body collapsed and the ground became to be stained with her rich blood. Rachel looked to her mother with a solemn look in her eyes,  
  
"mommy?"  
  
Angel rushed to her side the demons fleeing out of respect. He craddeled her head on his lap rocking her back and forth.  
  
"Angel." she gasped, "sweety, I've figured it out!" She graced him with a smile.  
  
"figured what out baby?" through the tears he managed to speak clearly.  
  
"Rachel, she is going to save the world one day. They want her Anfel but you can't let then hae her whatever the cost. She will save the world." She said feeling in awe, "promise me that you will protect her, promise me Angel."  
  
"forever."  
  
"Now, go before more come, Giles and Xander can deal with me. I love you."  
  
"I love you, and Rachel, she won't forget you Buffy, I won't let her."  
  
Blood spurted out of her mouth. "your sweet, I'll still be your girl right?"  
  
"always" with that Buffy gasped her las breath and rolled over content. She had been fulfilled.  
  
"Mommy?"  
  
angel gathered her in his arms and put her on the bed were they were first intimate. He kisses her forehead and begins to weep,cradeling the lifeless body.  
  
Xander and Giles run in only to be greeted by Rachel staring at her broken father and dead mother in Angel's arms.  
  
"we are too late." Xander exclaimed.  
  
"the prophecy has begun." Giles said solemly.  
  
"the what?" Xander said not remembering the prophecy that was wiped from his memory/  
  
"You take Rachel home, its going to be a very long couple of years." Giles took off his glass and wiped them on his sweater, his slayer had been fulfilled, but had he? 


	24. SIX FEET UNDER r&r!

Six Feet Under  
  
AN: OKAY PPL LITSEN UP I PUT UP SUM PRETTY CRUCIAL CHAPTERS AND HAVE RECEIVED NO REVIEWS. ARE PPL NOT READING OR ARE U READING BUT NOT REVIEWING.or do u not like it *acts embarrassed* PLZ R&R this time and my chapter will totally b longer..o and I only accept constructive critisim *wink*  
  
"Ashes, to ashes, dust to dust, let our beloved sister rest in eternal peace." Beloved? What did he know he's never seen her cry or hug her when she shrieks because of the lightening, or when she was sick and wasn't scared to pick up my pet spider. Beloved is his term, or was. The priest sprinkled some crap on my beloveds casket as it was lowered into the ground, a hell mouth swallowing her perfect body in one gulp. I couldn't, I just couldn't watch. How pale she was lying in that casket, how lifeless and dull she was lying in that casket made by unworthy hands.  
  
It would be the last time he would see her smiling face, or the laughter they had shared. He had lost his best friend along with his wife. Worst of all Rachel hardly even remembers her and this breaks my heart.  
  
Falling quickly, cascading into the ground, You stole my essence my every pound. How I wish to see you smile, If only for a while, Can't stay, can't you see, Without you there is no me. What will she do without her mother, What will I do without my lover, Dearstest don't take this flight, Come back to us, make this right. Death is in your eyes, In Denial I tell myself these lies. Can't stay, can't you see, Without you, there is no me? (A/N: my own creation aren't you all proud!)  
  
"Papa?" a small hand reached out and glided gently into Angel's. "we are going to be alright, I know because she told me." Rachel smiled at her distraught father, trying to give him some sort of comfort.  
  
"I know baby, I know." Angel tried to smile back to give her to reassure her that things were going to as they were, but in truth they wouldn't and it only made it harder for him to grace her with his trademark smile. She was too much like Buffy and it scared him, the little gestures and nose wrinkle. He had made up his mind there was nothing else to do. Suddenly his heart tightened and began to beat faster and faster, it was too much, he couldn't be there.  
  
"Angel are you alright?' came Willow's soothing voice.  
  
"Take Rachel." And with that he left the cemetery and walked out on all of their lives. One more moment with these people he would go crazy, the trees shoke with her strength the air smelt of her perfume, and the laughter of his small child intoxicated his thoughts. She was so close but so far away. So he bailed, what was he to do? All the things he had promised her at death just seemed so impossible. She would have a good life here without him. Giles, willow and Xander will protect her, I swear it."Forgive me beloved, forgive me." 


	25. Life after Death R&R NEW

Life After Death  
  
Coward. That's all really; I am just that, a coward. She's at least fifteen now, probably the prettiest girl at school, tones of boyfriends by now, and I missed it. I made that decision a long long time ago and I find myself regretting it everyday of my life. I went through a rough patch, well more than rough, I went trough hell. She died, right in front of my eyes. It's really not something you forget.  
  
She dove gracefully in front of our wide-eyed three-year old daughter, taking the arrow to her heart. Maybe I resented her, Rachel, like she killed her mother somehow, but how can I, Buffy wouldn't have lived with herself if she had just let Rachel die, I don't think I would have either. But maybe it would have been easier if I had taken that arrow, god that's the 50 million dollar question. I have to go back to her, I broke the promise, I was supposed to protect her, I promised my beloved as she died in my arms. So I am going back, I have to. But I am so scared out of my mind. She must hate me, think I did this to her mother, she might not even remember me, or the pancakes we made in the morning. I wonder if she likes school now.  
  
Angel picked up his suitcase and boarded a narrow bus that smelt of rotting eggs, it was cheap to say the least but he hadn't been all to wealthy since he left his job. He made the effort to shower before he saw his daughter for the first time in twelve years. He even brought her, her mother's wedding ring. What else could he offer her? Willow would surely tear his head off and Xander would be none too pleased. He wondered if she called them mommy and daddy. He sent cards of course but he couldn't bear to say much, he had seen the pictures, she was Buffy but with big brow eyes and brown silky hair. It destroyed him that she wished her daddy would come home when she was five. Willow wrote him, she was furious with him but agreed to tell Rachel that her daddy was doing something very important.  
  
He never did hear back after that, he was somewhat cut off, the lies were getting too big to manage. He figured that eventually Rachel would see beneath Auntie Willow and Uncle Xander's comforting lies, and see him for the coward he truly was. With a sigh that sounded like a weight had been out on his heart, he watched out the window as he passed a sign, "Leaving Ohio, come back soon." This was it, there was now turning back. So how come he felt like jumping out the window so much.  
  
"Xander, stop that, I look fine!!" Rachel came bounding down the stairs in a fashionable mini skirt with her thick chestnut hair curled under, a black tank-top and a light pink camisole over top.  
  
"You look like a hooker!" Xander shook his fist, at some attempt to be harsh with her, it never worked, she just gave him the "Buffy face" and she had everyone wrapped around her little finger.  
  
"She looks like her mother!" Willow said with admiration. It took a lot for her not to start crying. It was a new year of high school for Rachel, Buffy would have wanted to be here. Instead she got to play the role of mommy to the most wonderful girl in all the world. "You really think so?" Rachel knew very little about her mother, but when they were willing to talk about her she was all ears.  
  
"I really do!" Willow beamed up at her and got her camera ready. With a flash and a wave she was out the door with her "hello kitty" knapsack and the brown-paper bag lunch Willow had made.  
  
"she's really growing up!" Xander felt a tear come to his eyes.  
  
"Oh, you goofball!" Willow hit his arm playfully, "It won't be long before she has a boyfriend."  
  
"Over my dead body!" Xander stomped his foot mockingly.  
  
"Oh that statement was so strong Xander!" Willow smiled and drew him into a kiss, "I just wish he were here to see her, she would have wanted that."  
  
"Buffy or Rachel?" Xander said in confusion.  
  
"Both!"  
  
"He doesn't deserve a daughter like Rachel, she is too good for the likes of him!"  
  
"Xander," Willow chastised, "His soul mate died at the age of 21 when all of their lives were coming together, not to mention in front of his own eyes. Some part of him still blames himself."  
  
"Hey, it was devastating on all of us! Giles was like her damn father, you, and me, Rachel!" his voice was raised in a heated passion, "We dealt."  
  
"We haven't known her since she was two, nor did either of us share a bed with her!" Willow tried to reason with him. She may have been mad at Angel's abrupt decision, but he was a good guy and she could understand where he was coming from.  
  
"Well, will, you never know, me and the Buffster had a heated love affair" Xander grinned.  
  
"Maybe in your dreams, but the only thing that should be in your dreams is me Mr. Harris!" Willow smirked.  
  
"Why Mrs. Harris aren't you smitten! Race you up the stairs!"  
  
"Deal!" And with that willow and Xander went sprinting up the stairs to do many things behind closed doors.  
  
When Rachel finally got to school she felt so small. The whole building was her house times ten! How would she ever find her way around! Glancing at the paper map Willow made her take she tried to find her homeroom, 213, okay so here is the challenge.  
  
"Excuse me, miss, would you like some help with that?" As Rachel let her eyes wander up to this stranger she dropped dead. She must be in heaven because why would this godly creature be talking to her.  
  
"ex, ex, scuse..me?" Rachel stumbled on her words. Oh goody! Impress him with your lack of Speech! Way to go Rachel!  
  
"Hi, my name is Kevin!" He extended a muscular hand that was poking out of his letterman's jacket.  
  
"Hey I am Rachel!" She returned his gesture with her own fragile hand and a bright smile.  
  
"Well what room are you looking for maybe I could help you!"  
  
"uh, 213, I believe, it's my homeroom this year!" Wow, oh god, hotty talking to me. She breathed in and out. Goal for today: don't faint!  
  
"Just this way, follow me miss..."  
  
"Summers!"  
  
"Ah, right, well fellow me Miss. Summers" He extended he elbow and out of courtesy she took his arm in hers and followed him down the long hallway.  
  
"So, Rachel, what are you taking this semester?"  
  
"Art history, English, Math, and erg French!" She crinkled her nose playfully.  
  
"Not a fan of the French I see!" Kevin liked this girl especially her crinkly nose and the depth of her big chocolate eyes. Passing the wall next to her homeroom his attention was suddenly grabbed to a graduating class on the wall.  
  
"Hey isn't that you?" Kevin looked very confused as he was staring at a picture, graduating class of 1998, a blond girl that looked exactly like the brunette on his left.  
  
"Umm well unless I graduated already probably not" Rachel didn't bother looking but she could see it confused Kevin quite a bit.  
  
"It says here, Elizabeth Summers, a relative of yours, I heard she was brutally murdered or something?" Kevin smiled a dashing smile. Rachel's interest peaked and she checked the picture. "No, I...I don't know her. I gotta go!" Rachel said dashing down the hall in search of a small stall in the girl's bathroom that had her name on it.  
  
"But your homeroom is right here!?" Kevin looked slightly confused, and with a shrug of his shoulders he went back to the picture. It sure did look a lot like her except for the blonde hair. What happened and what had set Rachel off like that.  
  
Angel stepped off the bus and took a sigh of relief. It was good to be home. It was so familiar yet so different. The bus station sure hadn't changed. As he walked to the nearest motel 8, angel decided that he would have to find a job. He was a substitute teacher for a while and the new high school just opened so it would probably be a good idea. After getting settled in he would go in for an interview.  
  
Angel put his crisp white shirts in the closet. They haven't been that crisply ironed since Buffy died. She had always done the laundry and he would always do the cooking. It was safer that way, so know one ended up with food poisoning.  
  
He put a picture of Buffy on his night side table and one of Rachel coming home from the hospital next to it. With the keys of his rental in his pocket he decided he would go to Willows.  
  
She could hear someone enter the bathroom so she quieted her sobs. She had never been told her mother's death. Aunt Willow always just told her that she was in the middle of something and it was an accident. She couldn't bear to hear that she was murdered that she suffered so much pain. She bet her dad knew wherever that jackass was anyways.  
  
She didn't remember her dad that much. She remembers that they were really close and she remembered the funeral but past that she doesn't even remember what he looked like or where in the hell he was. She always blamed herself. He msut have picked up and left because of her. She had this aching feeling that the death of her mother was her fault because whenever she brought it up it was always such a sore subject and the departure of her one close father just brought further proof. Her sniffling resided and she began to hear the girls in the bathroom.  
  
"She's here! No way!"  
  
"Way!" "I was wondering when she came into high school"  
  
"I feel bad for her!"  
  
"really? I don't! she will probably use her mother's death as some sob story for attention"  
  
"Oh, Courtney your so bad"  
  
"say what you want but I want to know what that little misfit is hiding."  
  
"Maybe she's nice"  
  
"No way, that Summer's girl isn't any sympathy from me or my boyfriend, Kevin!" After the one girl had finished powdering her nose they both walked out.  
  
"Kevin? High school sucks!" Rachel hit her head against the door and decided to face the world.  
  
"Oh miss, Summers what a pleasure to have joined us."  
  
"Sorry sir, I had some other engagement."  
  
"Right, take a seat next to nick, please."  
  
"Hey there Rachel!" Nick smiled, he was cute a little boyish but cute, he reminded her of Xander.  
  
"Hey, so what did I miss?"  
  
"Not much, just the speech that all of our lives depend on our marks, its our decision, yadda yadda yadda,"  
  
"Oh goodie" Rachel rolled her eyes and sat back. Today was going to be a very long day.  
  
"We're coming!" Willow bounded down the stairs giggling as Xander was chasing her with a boyish grin on her face.  
  
"Wait a moment!" Willow had Xander wrapped in a kiss as they reached the bottom of the stairs, willow opening the door with her one free hand, "Yes may we..." She suddenly looked up into two very miserably sad brown eyes.  
  
"Angel." She stated in shock.  
  
"Willow." He replied. "Xander!" Xander said goofingly.  
  
"Looks like not much has changed" Angel rolled his eyes at Xander.  
  
"Wrong mister, your daughter has, she isn't three anymore mister, she is fifteen and where were you for all of that." Will placed a firm finger on his chest. It was still muscular and he still looked twenty.  
  
"I know I know I am so sorry willow."  
  
"Well you should be, I mean you can't come here and expect to be greeted with open arms." Xander said shakingly.  
  
"I didn't think I would be. I deserve all that you guys are saying. I was stupid and I made a very bad decision. If I could take it back I would, you have to trust me." Angel was pleading.  
  
"Fine, but on the following conditions, lay low don't tell her right away, get to know her first you are going to have to ease into the whole, "hey I am your long last dad" routine. She has changed you can't buy her a doll and give her a cookie to patch everything up between you two." Xander was trying to be as firm as possible.  
  
"That is totally acceptable."  
  
"Then go get gone before she gets home from school!"  
  
"Right, um willow?"  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Can, is it, well could I have a photo album to look at please" He was so nervous she could tell by the way he kept loosening his collar.  
  
"You sure can!" She smiled at seeing him interested, "here you go but I want these back when you are done, we are quite attached to her you know!"  
  
"Who couldn't be" Angel said with a grin and left, slightly more happy then when he arrived.  
  
After angel had left it wasn't to later that Rachel came sulkingly through the door.  
  
"well honey how was your frist day?" Willow grinned.  
  
"do I have to talk about it?" she grunted, giving will the shivers, she was so much like Angel.  
  
"That bad huh?"  
  
"You could say that!"  
  
"well what happened, bad food, tripped on your way to class, mean girls?"  
  
"the third!" Rachel said.  
  
"ah, mean girls, I knew it! Just like your mother always having to deal with flack from the populars because they envied her so. You and your mother are very good-looking and you are nice, not many people have the combination."  
  
"Aunt Willow, what about my mother, how did she die?"  
  
"Rachel, sweetie this really isn't the time to get into this!"  
  
"It's no fair, you guys never tell me what happened, did I do it! Was it my fault?!" Rachel started to raise her voice, "God the girls were right it is all my fault. I hate myself!" Rachel ran up the stairs and slammed her door. She had a lot to think about.  
  
Angel sat down in his motel rubbing his forehead in a pensive thought when the phone rang.  
  
"hello?"  
  
"Mr. O'Connor? This is the principal at Sunnydale high we received your application and quite frankly its outstanding when can you start!"  
  
"tomorrow is great with me, but if you don't mind me asking what will I be teaching?"  
  
"Art history, grade ten! See you tomorrow bright and early!"  
  
"Bright and early!" With a smile and the click of the phone who knew that Angel would be closer to his daughter than he thought.  
  
TBC 


	26. Look Out World

Murder  
  
Plz review....i put this on fanfiction and no one reviews anymore!! Plz leave a review it's just nice! Thnz tootles  
  
"She hasn't come down for quite some time Xander, I think we should just leave the food on a tray outside her door, wait till she feels ready to come to us." Willow, being the gentle peacekeeper had always been tried to persuade Xander to wait before barging in on a fifteen year old very emotional little girl. She knows what it's like not to have a real mother, her's was always an, "absentee" and god knows she was trying to be there for Rachel but it really wasn't the same.  
  
"Okay, fine but tomorrow we have to tell her the truth, its gone on long enough and I think she is a little too old for the, "mommy went to a better place," line, I just wish I knew who had sparked these thoughts in her." He said gloomily taking his hand and rubbing the back of his neck to relieve his stress.  
  
"Well I think they were always there, it just took some provoking, come on sweetie, let's get to bed, it's late and I am very tired." Willow rubbed Xander's arm in a friendly comfort.  
  
"Alrite, mi'Lady! But I worry for her you know, I really lover her like my own." Xander directed his body towards the stairs and began to make a journey to the bedroom, stopping momentarily at Rachel's door. Silence. Maybe she had gone to sleep? With a nod from his head, he and Willow glided into their room and shut the door behind them.  
  
When Rachel knew that her Aunt and Uncle were securely in bad she jumped up and began to pace around, "I have to get out, now!" She was tugging at her hair furiously and if she had tried it with more force she would be ripping her chestnut locks.  
  
"A murder, they think I am a murder," taking her mother's picture, from the bedside table in her hands she whispered, "sorry mommy." With that Rachel opened the chilled window and climbed out with one swift motion to land in the darkness they called, night.  
  
Angel tossed and turned in his sleep, it's not like he had slept very much since her death but the few winks he was able to nab were appreciated. Suddenly, it go very cold in his gray motel room. He was having a dream, he was at a Lakers game, and they were loosing, one shoot to win it all and he...Well he couldn't finish it off because he got a knowing pain in the pit of his stomach and a voice began to ring in his ears.  
  
"Go, go to her,"  
  
"Who?" angel mumbled sub-consciously.  
  
"You know who, protect her, its not her time Go my Angel."  
  
And with clarification of voice Angel bolted up. He knew something was wrong right when he got that feeling in his stomach but he ignored it for some rotten sandwich or something he ate before bedtime. That voice it was familiar, comforting. He trusted it and he would have to find her before she got into trouble.  
  
With that jumpstart, angel quickly jumped off the bed in a race to find his only daughter. He did the buckle up and grabbed a white t-shirt. With that he was out the door in two minutes flat.  
  
Rachel hugged the small woolen blanket around her small form. She had to admit it wasn't the best time for a walk but what else could she do she wanted to clear her head, sort some things out. If it was true what everyone thinks then she would never be able to forgive herself, however, the only good thing would be that Rachel would understand why her daddy left her that day. He wouldn't be the villain she didn't want to potray him as. He wasn't a coward, her daddy was a fighter, at least the knowledge of her causing his departure was comforting than the thought that her daddy left her.  
  
The wind became more harsh and the sky was darker, lite with only the moonlight as her guidance. She walked through the park. The vacant swings went back and forth in the wind. It was so scary like deja vue, but she had this urge to go up to the hill and visit the old mansion. Pushing forward she was able to make it to the mansion and take shelter in it's large atmosphere. However, it wasn't there she wanted to be. The field it called to her.  
  
Unsure of her actions she hesitantly took baby steps towards this spot on the ground that called he so. It was near one of the graves. As she put her cheek on the small patch of earth she felt as though she should lie down. The first contact of her cheek and the grass sparked many images in her head. Blood, so much blood, and pain and anguish, innocence, battle, it was all there. She say a flash of blond hair and was about to see the face when her thoughts were rudely interrupted.  
  
"Excuse me, miss!" Angel stuttered a bit but tried to fight the urge to pick her up and cradle her and comfort her. She was lying where Buffy had been slain and it broke his heart to see that she looked exactly like her mother.  
  
"Whoa, jesus, you scared the crap out of me!" With a hand held over her heart Angel gave her a goofy grin.  
  
"That's not the kind of language a young lady such as yourself should use now is It?" He was teasing with her and knew already that she had Buffy's fiery passion, the one he fell in love with.  
  
"Whatever Mary Poppins, are you done here, I am not in the mood for a conversation right now." Rachel slouched down and was about to touch the earth once more but was stopped with a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"It's not safe out here for young girls such as yourself, let me take you home, its cold out here." For some reason Rachel felt comfort in this man, like there was something familiar about him.  
  
"Um, okay, could I ask you something?"  
  
"sure, shoot!"  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"My name, it's ugh, "Angel stumbled, she knew her father's name and it wasn't very common he would stick out like a sore thumb.  
  
"what you don't know your name?" Rachel laughed and put her hands on her hips, still walking towards the car.  
  
"Smart ass, it's Liam, nice to meet you!" He put forth his hand in a friendly gesture.  
  
"Do I know you?" She smiled, he was nice and funny.  
  
"More than you know." He mumbled but she didn't quite hear him and ignored the fact that he wasn't responding.  
  
"well, this is my house, ugh, thanks for everything Liam." Rachel waved goodbye and climbed through the window as Angel's heart seemed to drop. She was beautiful and it would be hard not to hug her whenever he was around her.  
  
He turned the car around and began to speed towards his apartment, where he had the first best sleep he had had since the death of his beloved.  
  
Her Father  
  
Who was he? Rachel had been over these a million times. This mystery white knight who saved her from doing something really stupid. How did he know how to find her? It was all so confusing. While she pondered these thoughts she was in front of the bathroom mirror fixing her hair for that day at school. She had chose some tight parasouco jeans and a black halter, Xander would flip but she had to be more daring she was always the nice girl, if she was the murderer they all perceived she was going to act like it. Besides she wanted to grab someone's attention, Courtney's beau, Kevin. He was a cutie and after those mean things Courtney had said about her how could she not keep her paws off of him. Two could play at that game. This was girl world.  
  
As Rachel came down the stairs she grabbed her stuff shoved a piece of unbuttered toast in her mouth and went flying out the door. IF she wanted to get to school in what she was wearing she would have to sneak past both Xander and Willow. While she was walking down the sidewalk, her feet started to kill, it had been a long long time since she had wron heels, what like maybe her grade eight graduation. She was hobbling along when a car pulled up next to her.  
  
"Hey there, miss. Summers!" and to her imagination it Kevin looking way too good in his black convertible. He was two years her senior but there were no complaints there. "need a lift," was he talking to her again. She was feeling weak in the knees but managed to squeak out, "sure that'd be great, thanks." He finally slowed down the car she was able to jump in.  
  
"Not the best shoes for school hey?" Kevin smiled making Rachel feel very embarrassed, "I don't know why you girls put yourselves through that pain!" He shook his head and Rachel began to redden.  
  
"So where's Courtney?" Kevin swallowed whatever was in his throat very quickly almost like a gulp, "C.c..Courtney?"  
  
"that's what I said," her mother's attitude shone through.  
  
"Well she's at school probably, so you euh know bought Courts and me?"  
  
"You could say that," Rachel sighed.  
  
"O well I am ending it soon, someone else has caught my attention," Kevin smirked and Rachel just rolled her eyes, she didn't feel like playing sloppy seconds.  
  
"Right, well here's school and I have class, see you later, and um thanks for the ride." With that she rushed out of the car as soon as she could so that it didn't become anymore awkward. As she was running through the halls to get to her first class she met up with her knew friend, Kate.  
  
"Whoa, Rachel slow down there, it looks like you'll have a heart attack!"  
  
"Again, you could say that." Rachel rolled her eyes and quickened her pace, "I am late for first period, and it's only the second day of school!"  
  
"What do you have?" Kate asked.  
  
"Art History, 205,"  
  
"Oh my god, me too, that's so great! Let's go!" Kate grabbed her hand and led her down the hallway before stopping at the door.  
  
"Okay, excuse, excuse, think." Kate rushed.  
  
"You just got your period?" Rachel gave the not so helpful suggestion.  
  
"Nope used it last time, um...oh I have got it! Just follow my lead okay?"  
  
"Sure whatever" Rachel walked into the class behind Kate.  
  
"Sorry um mister," Kate paused, it wasn't Mr. Schniblee that's for sure, whoever it was he was tall, dark and definitely handsome,  
  
"O'Connor, you two girls would know that if you had come on time!" he lectured to realize it was Rachel cowering behind her friend.  
  
"Right, well Mr.O'Connor, Rachel got sick and I had to take her to the nurses office," Kate smiled and Rachel just felt like more of an idiot. Why did she have to be the one that had to be sick.  
  
"Well Rachel Summers, you don't look very sick!" He said with a grin and Rachel finally looked up and mouthed the word, "Liam" but he just shook his head in a nod and dismissed it.  
  
"Please take you seats." And he went back to the board. As Kate and Rachel sat down they were beckoned to sit next to two others, a boy and a girl.  
  
"Hey my name is Alison and this is Jake!" they shook hands, Jake a little more friendly with Rachel.  
  
"Hey!' She said timidly, "I am.."  
  
"Rachel, we heard," smiled Ally, she seemed very nice and quiet.  
  
"Isn't he just to die for!" Kate gushed and for some reason it made Rachel feel sick. Sure he was good looking but to ever think of him in that way just seemed so wrong to her.  
  
"Hello Salty-goodness!" ally raised her eyes in her head and fell against her desk in a daze.  
  
"I don't think he is very good looking" Rachel shrugged and Ally almost fell off her chair.  
  
"Finally someone I agree with," Jake smiled.  
  
"Hey you four in the back, listen up, you might need this!" Angel stated and winked over at Rachel and the two other girls thinking it was appointed to them just let out a satisfied sigh.  
  
After class as they were leaving Ally, Kate and Jake were walking out of the classroom as Rachel was stopped by Mr. O'Connor.  
  
"Rachel could I see you for a second."  
  
"sure."  
  
"As your teacher I don't think what you are wearing is very appropriate, please come dressed to school tomorrow in something a little less revealing please." Rachel's mouth dropped.  
  
"You are serious, no way, I can wear what I want you know!" Rachel huffed.  
  
"Not when I have asked you not to end of discussion!" Angel frowned.  
  
"Your not my father!" Rachel shouted and left the classroom.  
  
"Right, I am not your father," Angel stated broodingly. She looked like Buffy today, always dressing to drive him wild and not be able to concentrate, but no way could his daughter he knew what boys were like.  
  
"So what did the hottie himself have to say?" Kate caught up to her.  
  
"Nothing really." She ignored the question, she was still fuming from what Liam had told her. She thought he was a friend.  
  
"I think it's cool Rachel doesn't like our teacher!" Jake beamed.  
  
"Only cause you like her!" Ally rolled her eyes and both Rachel and Jake turned a crimson shade of red.  
  
"well um see you guys later?"  
  
"yea, sure? Hey um Rachel, do you want to go to the Bronze tonight with the rest of us?"  
  
"Um, sure I guess, well bye guys!" Rachel waved and left.  
  
'wow, she sure is something!" As Angel casually walked by and heard this he stopped.  
  
"You better be good to her Mr. Matthews!"  
  
"Ugh, yes, sir?" Jake was bewildered. Who did this guy think he was? Her father?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------  
  
Look Out World.  
  
When Rachel had finally gotten home she dropped her knapsack on the floor and was about to jot up the stairs when a very angry Xander appeared in the her path.  
  
"not so fast missy, we need to talk about what your wearing!"  
  
"Oh my god, not you too Xander! It's not against any school regulations so is everyone on my back?" Rachel had never gotten out of line with Xander, maybe it was his goofish charm or the fact that he didn't really have to care for her if he didn't want to but, it was unlike her.  
  
"What's going Rachel, these past few weeks your aunt and I have been very concerned about your behavior. Talking different, dressing differently, and since when was your mother's death of such great importance?" Xander stumbled across the last one, he was always so careful when concerning Buffy's death, he did have a crush on her for the longer part of highschool but those feelings were now replaced with a deep friendship.  
  
"What's going?" Rachel asked rhetorically, she stepped closer to where Xander stood, "I am fourteen, my mother is died right in front of me but I couldn't remember for the life of me, I have little to none friends, an absentee father, and I am short. Should we keep going or should I stop now?"  
  
"Okay, sweetie I get it, your mad, but neglecting your morals and sneaking out at night is hardly mature!"  
  
"How did you now?"  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"that I snuck out?"  
  
"Ang...Liam he ah, told me he was very concerned."  
  
"Erg, who does he think he is, first telling on me, then telling me what to wear, where do they get these teachers!"  
  
"What you wear, he told you what to wear?" Xander asked quizingly.  
  
"Well sorta suggested, but still, I wish everyone would just butt out!!"  
  
"It's hard when you love the person!" Suddenly Rachel clued in and welcomed Xander in a warm embrace.  
  
"I am sorry Xander, I just get so frustrated sometimes you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I sure do kiddo," Xander patted her long brown hair. "I think it's time we discussed what happened to your mother, the real version, not some glossed over, sugar coated one. "  
  
"I'd like that," Rachel supplied, wiping away a fallen tear.  
  
"come on sit down you are going to have to."  
  
"Right" Rachel sat down on the large sofa and began to hear the story of her mother's death.  
  
A few mintues later Rachel paused,  
  
"demons? Xander you feelin alrite!!!"  
  
"Sweetheart, there is a lot you don't know and frankly you don't want to know but you will have to hear it. Your mother was the most beautiful woman I had ever met, not just physically but everything about her was just so perfect. How she smiled and laughed and crinkled her nose, it was all Buffy. She had cancer you know, well only for awhile and then got healed, but really that's another story. So anyhow, yoiur mother and your father, well they were best friends long before they were lovers, and it all started because your uncle William, better known as Spike, had a little crush on her. Your father being the older brother at six swept in and knew he had found a gem, but not until he was sixteen and moving to L.A did he realize it. He promised your then fourteen year old mother that he would return to her when he could properaly care for her. When he did return they became well, when two adults fall in love.." he faltered.  
  
"Spare me the details!" Rachel held her hands up in protest. She was getting all girly just hearing the romantic tale till he had to ruin it with the sex talk.  
  
"Right, well then there was you, your mother at seventeen was pregnant and very happy. Your father and her got married when she came of age. You, you were their everything. They both loved you so much. You and your dad, Angel, were so cute together that even Buffy got jealous of you. You and your dad were unseperable, "  
  
"it doesn't look that way!" Rachel rolled her eyes.  
  
"I might not have agreed with your father's decision but he was still a very good guy and father at that point and Rachel he did loose his wife, lover and best friend all in one swoop, it does something to you, he wasn't thinking and then when he was he was too afraid that you would hate him to come back and thought it was best to stay away!"  
  
"Shouldn't that be up to me, what's best?"  
  
"You sound just like your mother!" Xander smiled, "When you were only three your mother left fearing that she was endangering you and your father's lives. So she packed up and left. Angel was of course furious and scared so he went out and searched all over for her. He did find her eventually at a small cemetery by the mansion they first, yea, well you know, and while they were outside an arrow was shot at you, the one thing your parents would do anything for. Your mother, a little sharper than your father heard the arrow and dove in front of you. She saved you and I don't think she could have asked for any better reason to die. I think that in her own way she wouldn't have wanted to die any other way than protecting you. She loved you so much Rach, and it wasn't painful, it was quick and then she went to heaven. I have dreams that she is an angel, a golden halo atop her golden hair looking down on us."  
  
"I do to, sometimes, I imagine she is still here, her and dad are together and we have a dog named sammy and I have a little brother named Kyle, he is a little brat but I love him just the same. Dad and Kyle like to play basketball and me and mom practice martial arts in the basement. Mom isn't a cook but she sure can bake, the best birthday cakes. She knows exactly what I want for my birthday and loves my boyfriend. All my friends think that dad's a total hottie and they absolutely love mom, Sammy our retriever does his business in the yard and dad is always getting mad. You and willow come over with your baby, and we all have a great big dinner in the dinning hall, then there are times when I dream I am getting married and mom is in the front pew and dad is walking me down the aisle..."Rachel began to cut off and started to tear. "Sometimes I want to stay in my dream world."  
  
"I think we all do sweetie but we have to play the cards we were dealt with, you are a very special child miss. Rachel Beth Summers, and some greater power has big plans for you. Whenever you are feeling small just think of all the people that really love you!"  
  
"Oh thank you uncle Xander, you always know just what to say!" Rachel hugged Xander tightly around the neck.  
  
"air becoming an issue!" Xander grinned.  
  
"Right! Well I have to get ready! I am going to the Bronze!"  
  
"Your first real bronze experience! Stop growing up, soon you'll be in college!" Xander wiped a fake tear from his eyes.  
  
"Whatever, Xander!" Rachel jotted up the stairs. The story of her mom and dad had comforted her a little, they must have really loved her and she wouldn't abuse her mother's sacrifice. Her mother died so she could have a good life and that was just what she was planning on having but with a father in the picture as well. Look out World Rachel Summers O'Connor has just arrived. 


	27. Bronzing it

Bronzing It  
  
I had finally finished changing, trust me it took long enough. Aunt Willow popped in to see if I was still breathing. They are so cute you know, my guardians, Xander and Willow, no wonder mom befriended them. I am constantly wondering what if she hadn't where would I be, maybe in some orphanage or worse I would be living with Giles. Well, Giles is cool and all but his house is super creepy and has the weirdest things he calls, artefacts or movie props, I have reason to believe otherwise. I remember when I was seven and I went into the small cupboard just bellow my bunk bed, the one I sleep in when I am sleepover. Inside were tones and tones of books. Naturally I was about to close the cupboard because me and books well that's just too funny, but then one caught my eye like a rare gem amongst a sea of grey. I picked it up in my hands and opened the worn leather cover. Inside the book to my surprise was a long passage and dreadful pictures of a woman holding a babe in her arms, shielding her from an unknown force. However, what really got me was a young girl, probably my age now, face back walking into a shiny blurb which I identify now as some sort of vortex. The era of the girl is calm and determined, and for some reason it struck a cord in my heart but the passage I was unable to read, it was in symbols and I gave up very quickly. Every since I have been somewhat creeped out at Uncle Giles' house.  
  
It was getting later and Rachel decided that if she didn't want to be late she would have to leave very quickly. Grabbing her leather jacket her mother left to her she was down the stairs and out the door. She had decided on a crimson red top and a black mini. Her long brown hair was woven into loose curls and she had a thin line of black eyeliner.  
  
She hated walking outside by herself and alone, she was 15 and it still made her quiver when walking the streets at night in good old Sunnydale, where nothing happens, besides her mother's murder. Maybe that's why everyone is constantly talking about because nothing else happens in this shit town. Rachel scoffed the sidewalk with her boot and crossed her arms. Trudging on she heard someone or something coming up behind her. Her heartbeat began to race and her pace quickened. She finally turned around to be greated with a familiar black convertible and a smiling young man in front of the wheel!  
  
"Hello Miss. Summers might I be of service?"  
  
"Kevin! God you scared me!" She shook her head and kept walking.  
  
"Well, hop in, its cold out hear besides I would like to talk to you!"  
  
"I don't talk to strangers!"  
  
"hey is that really being fair? I can't help but feel that I have done something to make you upset?"  
  
"Gee, you think?"  
  
"Do share!" Kevin shouted.  
  
"Well, your girlfriend..." Rachel faltered.  
  
"My EX-girlfriend!" Kevin corrected.  
  
"Fine, your EX-girlfriend is out to get me, you are the mysterious older guy stalking me! I mean come on what else I there to say" She felt exasperated and out of breath.  
  
"Well maybe I like you!" Kevin suggested.  
  
"Right, or maybe you just want to hear about my mother and you think getting to me I will open up and explain how she was murdered? Is that it!"  
  
"Far from it missy!" Kevin shook his head, "You know what fine, okay, be that way to you always give flack to guys how take interest in you are you just a regular bitch!?"  
  
"Oh well, it's nice to know what you think of me!" She scrunched her brow in an attempt to look angry at his perfectly chiselled face.  
  
"Okay fine, just hop in, I don't want anything happening to you, then if you still want to we can go our separate ways when we reach the bronze! Ok?" Kevin gave a shy smile.  
  
"oh, okay!" She crossed her arms and sat in the passenger's side refusing to look at him!  
  
"You sure are stubborn!" He shook his head.  
  
"They say it comes from my father!" She started to open up a bit, she didn't usually talk about her father to anyone but Kevin made her laugha nd made her blood boil. She could trust him already!  
  
"really? I would like to meet him some time if you don't mind of course!" Kevin supplied waiting for her response.  
  
"I wouldn't mind that if he were still around, my dad's kinda been MIA, for most of my life."  
  
"that's rough, but it looks like you turned out okay, more than okay, he is really missing out!" He patted her on the shoulder.  
  
"Thanks I guess," She was blushing from head to toe. She could tell her and Kevin were going to get along just fine.  
  
"Well It looks like we are here, so um should I leave you here or would you like to come in with ugh, me?" Why was he so nervous around her. He was NEVER nervous with girls. He was the studly jock, who got the girls, and she was even a junior. She must be really special to have him spun like this.  
  
"I think I would like to go with you if you don't mind!" Rachel beamed.  
  
"Not at all!" He took her hand and hoisted her out of the car where they proceeded into the bronze where Ally, Jake and Kate met them.  
  
"Hey, I am Kevin!" He extended his hand to all three juniors the girls took it eagerly but Jake ignored him and looked to the side.  
  
"We know who you are!" Kate suppressed a giggle and Ally winked at Rachel in an approving manner.  
  
"Ooo good song, good song!" Ally squealed, "Jake, let's go dance!" She took his hand and pulled him all the way to the centre of the dance floor.  
  
"Well I see some lonely guy over there so I think I might join them!" getting the hint Kate left in search of her new boy toy and gave Kevin the chance to ask Rachel to dance.  
  
"So, ugh well," Kevin stumbled.  
  
"I'd love to!" And she also led him out into a dark corner of the dance floor.  
  
"This is nice," He stated and wrapped his arms firmly around Rachel's small physique.  
  
"Yea, it really is!" She smiled and just let her head rest on his firm chest.  
  
"Rachel, I was wondering, if well do you want to go out sometime, strictly on weekends and with parent approval of course and I know I am older but," Rachel raised a finger and put it on his lips.  
  
"I would love to!" She drew him in for a kiss. Kevin's face was absolutely picture worthy. He looked so shocked yet content that it made Rachel want to barrel over in a fit of giggles.  
  
After a few more songs and the occaisional kissing, Rachel and Kevin had mutually decided that they had had enough and both took a seat at a table.  
  
"Rachel, sweetie, would you like a drink?"  
  
"Yea that would be great thanks, sprite please!" She tilted her head backwords!  
  
"Sure!" Kevin left and went to the bar. As soon as he left like a cat on the prowl Courtney, who had been sercretly watching him from the corner of her eye, glided over swiftly with two of her snake like friends.  
  
"I know what you are trying to do little girl, and it won't work, because when it comes down to it, Kevin won't want some little girl anymore, he will want the real thing, so give it up princess, Kevin is and always will be mine."  
  
"Oh well I usually like to start a conversation with hello but a threat is always good too!" Rachel rolled her eyes and began clacking her nails on the desk.  
  
"Oh look girls she is trying to fight back, well here's a lesson you better learn and learn it fast, don't play with fire, or you will be challenged."  
  
"What did you get that from your "how to be a bitch" guide, news flash Courtney I am the challenge! Bubye" Rachel put on a sweet smile and waved her hand. Her and her two brainless bimbos made a pucha sorta of sound and walked away just as Kevin was returning.  
  
"Were those girls bothering you?" HE looked concerned. He had obviously already had this problem with other girls Courtney has tried to chase away.  
  
"No, not in the least, actually we were having a nice little chat I would have liked to continue it!" Rachel took a sip from her sprite and smirked.  
  
"Just don't worry about her she is all talk! Would you like a drive home?"  
  
"I would love that thank you!" Rachel smiled and tried to get back to her best spirits.  
  
As they were approaching the door Rachel put her arm around Kevin's waist and leaned in for a chaste kiss right in front of Courtney and if looks could kill, Rachel would be dead. As soon as they got to the car they took of immediately and were cruising down the dark streets of Sunnydale.  
  
Rachel knew when she got home her life would never be the same. She had found someone she thinks she can fall in love with and she isn't going to take the same old shit anymore. That how its done when we are bronzing it! 


	28. Second Chance

IMPORTANT A/N: hey hey, it's me Sarah the author, I am so sorry about the last chapter It wasn't very good at all and it lacked any relevance to the story so sorry that you had to read that one. Although I had been dying to write a good bitch fight. Anyhow I will try to write a better chapter in the future! I thank all of you who were able to review it was very much appreciated thank you!  
  
SC  
Second Chance  
  
Within weeks, Rachel had blossomed into a whole other girl. She had soaring popularity amongst her peers and more friends and secret admirers than she could count. Her mother's death was very rarely on everyone's minds these days and her grades were exceedingly well. Life was coming together for Rachel. It would be too surreal to say it was perfect, if her family including her mother and father were together it might have been.  
  
Her favorite class was art history and unlike her best friends Ally and Kate she had no attraction whatsoever to Mr. O'Connor but she did harbor some feelings for him. She couldn't quite identify them but the way he looked at her like she was so special, like she was the only thing holding him to this world made her want to put on a smile each day. It was true she got creeped out frequently when he was constantly asking about her life and how it was going but she took his sincere interest as just being friendly.  
  
Not too many people noticed but she had a lot lately, it was drawing edgingly nearer to the end of the year she noticed some very similar things about her and Liam. They both had dark brown soulful eyes and the same unruly brown matted hair. They both had similar pale complexions and a knack for art. Everyone in the junior class knew of Rachel's talents for sketching, many teachers had told her that they were remarkable and put her pictures in contests. One of them had one but she was quite upset when a teacher had entered it. It was a picture of her mother she had drawn, she was warm and smiling with an infant in her arms, I imagined it was my baby brother Kyle being born, or the little brother I have dreamt about since I was seven.  
  
It was safe to say that her and Kevin were also quite the item. He bought her flowers on their three-month anniversary and a promise ring three months later. They were very attached and even shared a few discreet kisses in the hallway. As for Courtney and her gang of brainless chickens, they had taken a back seat in trying to mock Rachel, she had too many admirers that would beat them down if they even tried.  
  
One night she came home and everything changed, her aunt Willow had received a visit that evening. It was her Uncle Giles but Rachel was never told this information. She was sent to live with her girlfriend Kate while Willow claimed that her and Xander had some issues to work out. She still didn't believe in what they were telling her because they appeared to be very together, saddened but no problems.  
  
She packed up and left but came back after two weeks. It was now more than five months later and she was starting a fresh new year in highschool. Her birthday was shy 5 months and she still hadn't heard about what was happening. Today she would come back home to Willow and Xander. They said it was safe for her to come back now and that they had something very important to discuss with her. She was very thrilled to be able to live at home with her aunt and uncle but she was also curious as to why she was sent away five months ago. She held her breath and knocked on the door. She was about to find out what Willow and Xander were keeping from her but she couldn't help but wonder what happened that day her Aunt and Uncle had gotten a visit.  
  
Flash Back  
  
"Xander stop that, Rachel will be home any second now!" Willow mumbled in a hoarse voice, she was aching for some Xander time but not if Rachel a fifteen-year-old could walk in, in any moment.  
  
"You are such a tease Mrs. Harris!" Xander Whispered into the cape at her throat.  
  
Suddenly the doorbell began to ring and Xander got up to get it.  
  
"Thank God for that we almost got carried away there!" Willow was pleased because she knew that if she hadn't had this interruption she wouldn't have been able to have stopped Xander.  
  
"Hello?" Xander called to the empty porch untill a man in flat ironed tweed came into sight with a brief case in hand and a hat a top his balding head.  
  
"Xander? Willow? How good it is to see your familiar faces again!" It was unmistakably the voice of their old librarian Rupert Giles.  
  
"Oh my Goodness! Giles come in" Willow was all smiles, her and Giles were a book worms match.  
  
"I am afraid I have not come on a sociable occasion, its about Rachel" Giles said this solemnly and Xander knew it had to do with the other world they had shield her from for so long.  
  
"Please good friends trust me to revive your memory of things that were lost to you, you will better understand what I speak of" Giles took out an object from his pocket and waved infront of both Willow and Xander. Within seconds Willow was on the floor in a gut retching sob and Xander trying to cradle his hysterical wife.  
  
The Angel will be devastated and will be forced to care  
  
for the child. The child will be forced to offer herself  
  
to the world on the night of her fourteenth birthday. We  
  
will all be spared but the child will not be. Th one and  
  
the child will be reunited leaving the Angel alone.  
  
The Angel will soon join them in paradise where the  
  
three souls will be together forever but her presence  
  
will be missed by everyone damaging the lives of the  
  
guardian and mother. The second will become the one and  
  
the world will once again be at peace. If the cycle is  
  
disrupted the earth will crumble to pieces.  
  
"No, no, it can't be true, say it isn't true!" Willow cried in frustration.  
  
"I am afraid it is, today I come to you because it is short a year that her sixteenth birthday will come to pass and if we do not protect her until she gets there, all our lives will be at a loss"  
  
"Why those self riteous bastards, why do they always have to have the lives of innocent children, Giles, she can't die she is the only thing we have left of Buffy besides, I love her, she is my daughter, you think I can just give her up?"  
  
"You will have to Xander, and you will, when some new information comes to light in a few mothns you will not be able to say no, trust me." Giles had gone on a retreat after Buffy's death and had been living in England since, occaisonially seeing Rachel and getting updates, but the prohpecy was coming into it's last stage and he needed to be in Sunydale where he could make sure nothing could stop it.  
  
"I know this is difficult, it never is easy but we have to prepare her, she must know what is to come of her and we have to train her to be able to protect herself, if she dies before she is supposed to then we will be ruined. This power Buffy spoke of, the dreams she had after Rachel's birth,"  
  
"The frist," Willow whispered.  
  
"What?" Xander looked at his once silent wife.  
  
"I was the only one she had told, she had this dream this thing or being rather, the name, the first, came to mind, she said it was strong, stronger than everything and that she wanted Rachel, is this what is doing this?"  
  
"It is. It can take the form of any dead person it wants and it will be after her now more than ever, I have tried to protect her with spells so they didn't know how to locate her but it's different now, the first has had enough time to accquire enough power to break the spells and they are trying to kill her. If Rachel succeeds in fulfilling the prophecy than all evil everywhere in the world will be abolished."  
  
"That's a big destiny for a child" Xander said his mouth in a twitch.  
  
"Had msut be done, I have made some arrangements, the first has spies everywhere it is too dangerous if she stays here, for now she will live with her friend, Kate. Rachel will need all the help she can get, I must go, I am sorry friends!"  
  
"Wait Giles, Angel, he is the only one that could really protect her, when should will tell her about him?"  
  
"You are right, heaven's knows Angel will have to be involved. Tell her Xander when you feel ready she has a right to know her father before she has to.."  
  
"die?" Xander supplied his voice cracking.  
  
"Oh, oh my god!" Willow fell to the ground as soon as Giles left, "Is this really happening?"  
  
End Flashback  
  
"Hello, anyone home?" Rachel peered through the door, it wasn't like Willow and Xander to leave the door open. She wandered into the house and looked around. Everything was as it was. It was so good to finally be home, but they sure had a hell of a lot of explaining to do.  
  
Rachel decided to head up the stairs maybe they were up there. As she turned the corner she was positive she might have found them but instead she peered into the room she had heard a slight ringing sound from. When she got into the room it was as though she had never been there before. The room was a creamy yellow now and not the plain white it was before. But what struck her the most was that there was a little wooden crib and teddy bears all over the place. That must have been it Willow and Xander, they were having a baby! It was so accurate. She grinned from ear to ear, it might not have been her real new sibling but she sure could be there for the new baby. She raced downstairs to find that Willow was sitting in the family room patiently waiting the arrival of Xander.  
  
'Willow? What's going on? What was so urgent that I had to have Kevin drive me here?" Rachel wanted her aunt's news to be a surprise so decided to play dumb.  
  
"Please sweetheart I need you to sit down."  
  
"Willow are you alright?"  
  
"I am fine!" The doorbell rang and Willow got up to get it but Rachel raved her to it.  
  
"Kevin?" She asked hopefully but was saddened to realize it was her art history teacher.  
  
"Um, sorry sir but are you sure you have the right house?" Say he doesn't say he doesn't, Rachel was cursing under her breath.  
  
"Nope, I am pretty sure that this is the one, come Rachel let me in, please?" He grinned and she stepped aside.  
  
"I don't mean to be rude or nothing, but why are you here again.' That s when she noticed that everyone in the rooms started to get uncomfortable except for her.  
  
"Okay did I miss anything cause the mood sure died in this room."  
  
"Rachel take a seat, sweetheart." Willow ushered her to the chair but she stood firmly.  
  
"No, I want to know what's going on, now!" Rachel clenched her hands into tiny fists.  
  
"I didn't know she would be home I am sorry." Angel apologized quickly and Willow only nodded.  
  
"What, why does it matter? Am I in trouble? Just tell me!" it was scary any big discussion she every had to have always resulted negatively.  
  
"Well Rachel we called you here because your aunt and I are having a baby!" Xander tried to smile, it wasn't that he wasn't happy but it wasn't supposed to be like this, it was so unplanned, he wanted to be a father but not when the end of the world was coming. Angel really had killer timing to come over and congratulate us.  
  
"So why do I get the feeling that's not all you want to talk about."  
  
"Rachel, its about your father,"  
  
The room became very silent. Rachel faltered backward and decided that taking a seat looked awfully friendly right now. She plopped herself down and was suddenly all ears.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"He well, Rachel you see," Willow started.  
  
"Will, it's okay, I, I can take it from here, you've done so much already you don't have to take my rap not while you are pregnant!"  
  
"What do you mean, what would you know about my father!"  
  
"If you'd listen I would tell you." He chastised.  
  
"Fine I am listening happy?" She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Rachel, your father he didn't well he didn't mean to leave, he was so confused and after your mother, well you just reminded him so much of her and it was painful but never doubt that I never loved you."  
  
"What did you say?" angel gulped she had caught it.  
  
"No, I won't believe it, this is not happening, you're my art teacher for god sakes! This is ridiculous you are all going mad!" She began pacing.  
  
"sweetie, he isn't lying, Rachel, Liam, better known as Angel is your father!" Rachel looked at Xander, he wouldn't lie to her, and she knew it. Then she glanced at Angel his eyes looked so distraught and fragile.  
  
"No!" and with that she ran from the house out into the night tears streaming down her face.  
  
"Well that went well!" Xander rolled his eyes.  
  
"Angel, give her time it's not going to be easy for her."  
  
"I know, I know."  
  
It began to rain and Rachel just ran harder. She didn't know where she was going just that she was going. She ran down the streets past the graveyards, across parks and finally to a small house on a vacant street.  
  
"Kevin! Kevin! Oh God please open up!" She was banging on the door so hard her hands began to bleed and her brown hair fell in wet locks across her face.  
  
"Rachel? Baby? Oh my God what happened!" Kevin found his six month girlfriend crumpled, soaking and shaking on his front porch.  
  
"I-I-it was him, they found him!" She said in anger and joy.  
  
"Who?" Kevin asked exasperated.  
  
"My father." She fell against his chest in exasperation and he brought her inside and got her out of her wet clothes like a gentleman and dressed her in his sweats and laid her on the couch. She was running a slight fever but she would be fine in the morning. He stayed with her until then. A lot was going through her mind.  
  
Flashback:  
  
"Dadee!" a four year old Rachel came tumbling down the stairs with her barbie in her hands and a long pearl necklace on.  
  
"Well aren't you beautiful tonight princess!" he lifted her up in his big strong arms and she nestled her had on his shoulders.  
  
"Pancakes?" She asked.  
  
"Okay we can make pancakes but peanut remember no chocolate, mommy has already got my neck about that!"  
  
"otay!"  
  
"That's a good girl Peanut!" He hoisted her up onto the counter and began to get out the ingredients.  
  
"I luve pancaaaaaakes!" She yelled.  
  
"and I love Raaaaaachel!" Angel smiled and kissed her little nose! "Everything will be alright you will see, you have the best mommy in the whole wide world kiddo!"  
  
"I also have the best daddy!" She through her arms around his neck and he began twirling her around. That's when it began to fade and Rachel sat up in a sheer sweat/.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"Daddy?" Rachel whispered timidly when a groan came from the floor. She finally prossessed her surroundings. This was definitly not her home and definitly not her bed and these were definitly NOT her clothes.  
  
"Oh god, Willow and Xander must be worried sick!" She got up quickly and began looking for her shoes.  
  
"Rachel, sweetie you up? Don't worry I called your aunts they know you are here." He got up and steadied her with his hands.  
  
"Oh Kevin you must think I am such a nut bag."  
  
"No, I think you are real, any other normal person would have reacted that way if they had found out their father was alive and well and well their art teacher."  
  
Rachel laughed, "Yeah, that is kinda funny! But there is no one in hell I can give that guy another chance."  
  
"Really? I think you should, he is your father and he must have been so afraid to have come back after all this time and want to patch things up. Rachel no matter what you say you will regret not taking this opportunity to rediscover your relationship with your dad and have a family with your biological father."  
  
"I hate it when you are right, you know that?"  
  
"I do now!" he smiled and caught her in a kiss, "go, get outta here and make amends with your father, I love ya!" He shouted after her but the last part a but quieter, it wasn't time yet to tell her what he felt. 


	29. road to recovery

A/N: Firstly I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed for my story however, I have come to realize that I need to finish this story regardless I will have to finish this for me. So that is my task this week. It will be hard because there are things I would rather not cut out but have little relevance to the story such as the bitch fight which I have been wanting to do ever since I started to read fan fiction, also, making Angel extremely jealous however that didn't really come into play very much with this genre of story I only used it slightly in the 3rd or 4th chapter however I would like to thank you for reviewing and if you could generously continue in doing so. I am touched you have read my piece, now on with the writing.  
  
Road to Recovery  
  
Rachel had left that morning in Kevin's over sized tee and a pair of sneakers. Was she really what they said she was a replica of her mother? She could only hope she was. Her mother according to pictures was gorgeous, she remembered the little things she could about her father and the most dominate memory was that of his love for both of them. Rachel smiled to herself; they were so in love, why did fate have to be so cruel. It wasn't fair, nothing ever was.  
  
So that was her father, she had to admit she had a sinking suspicion that he was close by. He would have to understand that it wasn't going to be easy, her forgiveness would cost him a pretty penny. He did however, look worn around the edges, his brown hair all scruffy and his brown eyes are now so cold. Whoever this man was, he was not her father, but at least, or so she thought, he was really trying to be.  
  
In all honesty she knew that nothing would please her mother more than accepting him back into her life. She did miss him. They used to be so close. What happened? He could tell her everything and vice versa. They were each other's rocks. How could it have come to this. She supposed the death of her saintly mother contributed to a lot more pain than she ever knew.  
  
Sadly she couldn't remember her mother, not a hair or a glimpse. All she knew was that she was magnificent. No one could tell her otherwise or she would get very defensive, uncle William learned that lesson awfully quickly when she was the tender age of ten.  
  
On the brighter side of things, she had just spent the entire night with her godly boyfriend whose only concern was of her comfort and well-being. Her heart would have melted had she not been so hysteric. He truly was a great guy. One day maybe her dad could be the one to walk her down the aisle of the rest of her life. It was a comforting thought really. It was chilly outside and she needed to get to class maybe she could salvage something of the bond her and her father once had. However, she was still fuming mad.  
  
"Rachel, oh my god, what happened to you?" Kate came rushing to her best- friend's side with a warm embrace, her hand on her friends shoulder. "I was so worried about you, I've been looking all over the place for you!"  
  
"ugh, I would really rather not talk about it Kate, i-I've had a really bad day." Rachel's ees subsided to the floor.  
  
"Rachel, honey, I get it, you don't want to talk but the rumors going around, I have to know, Rachel are they true?" Rachel looked up at her bewildered.  
  
"What rumors?" Rachel looked totally oblivious to the situation that she had not so clearly walked into. "Kate tell me right now, what's up?"  
  
"Well, if you haven't well, nothing I mean, it was only small really..."She dragged her sentence out. She was lying and Rachel could tell like it was a second sense or something.  
  
"Kate!" Rachel held both of her shoulders very firmly, "I need to know what's going on, is this about Kevin?"  
  
"Kevin? No, no, um, look we have assembly like right now, let's find Jake and Aly!" Rachel released her iron grip and her friend loosened up. Whatever was going on she didn't like it. She was new, who knew what kinda of rumors were being spread around school about it."  
  
"Fine, let's go but then you better tell me what the hell is going on!" Rachel threatened and ran after her friend.  
  
As they entered the auditorium they spotted Jake and Aly sitting comfortably in the corner of the large spacious room. "Oh goodie, you guys made it! Come sit her!" aly gestured to the vacant seat on her left.  
  
"Thanks Aly!" Rachel smiled her sweetest smile and took a sit, at the moment she wasn't feeling very sweet. "So um, what's this all about?"  
  
"I don't know, I think they are deciding class president, then there is some special presentation or something, who cares its all school related so it's the same old crap!" Jake rolled his eyes and tried not to stare at Rachel, ever since she had hooked up with Kevin she had been Off-limits so to speak. It bothered Jake but there was not much he could do in the ways of winning her heart so he stayed contented in being second best to Kevin.  
  
"Shh, it's starting!" Aly, the total schooly chick hushed the gang in an attempt to actually hear what they were saying.  
  
"Good Morning Sunnydale High, today is a very important day especially for all you seniors out there." Shouts of agreeance rang out throughout the auditorium. It was full of grade 11's and 12's and the occasionally 10th grader that just felt like shouting put forth the effort. "Today, we choose the class representative of 2004! As, I am sure you are all aware the following people have been running these past weeks, let's see, we have, Janet Craig, Michelle Walker, Thomas Doug, Allan Whitmore and finally Courtney sherk!" Everyone applauded to this years finalist all but Rachel. There were one or more people In that list who made her skin crawl and she would rather be put to death than clap in their praise.  
  
"Now, the envelope, please!" drumming music was added to the back as to have a suspenseful intro, "And this year's class rep, is Courtney Sherk!! Congratulations!" The principal beamed in pride, they must be in an alliance, Rachel sighed. She was prepared for a living hell!  
  
"Wow, like oh my god this is way cool! I mean, thanks to everyone who voted for me you are all just the best!" Rachel rolled her eyes, she made fun of half of them and the other half were probably just threatened. "And as class president I will make sure that some people don't have an unfair advantage then others. Well let's take little Miss Summers for example," Finally Rachel's and everyone sitting in the room's attention had peaked, what about her? "You see, Miss. Summers, made one of our favorite faculty members, umm, what was his name, ah yes, Mr. O'Connor, leave his substituting job," Waves of moans washed the crowd; he was very popular with the kids especially the teenage girls. "Well getting to my point Miss. Summers or should I say O'Connor, was unfairly achieving higher marks than the rest of the class because that yummy stud of a teacher is actually your father!" Rachel sunk so low in her chair she thought it was going to swallow her whole, wait scratch that, she wanted it to swallow her whole. "That's right Sunny dale High, you heard me! Miss. Popularity isn't really all that she is crack upped to be. Thank her for the departure of your favorite teacher!" Courtney looked out upon the sea of shocked faces to rest upon Rachel. With a twisted grin and a wink of her eye she stepped down and went back to her chair.  
  
"Ugh, thank you Courtney, lovely speech." The teacher was just as shocked as the rest. "Well on further note.." He began to dwell on about the rest of the days activities but not before Rachel had the chance to run out of the auditorium like a dog with its tail between its legs. She wished she could have only missed the shocked stares of her best friends and peers, then maybe she wouldn't have to live in a cave for as long as she thought. With fresh tears spilling form her eyes she fled the room and sought out her little stall in the washroom that had her name on it, literally. Inscribed in a black ink, etched into the pink door was, "Rachel Summers, cry baby of the year." with a capital C written right next to it. Only realizing this now, she began to cry harder and began to see the similarities of her life and the porcelain toilet she was now resting her heaving shoulders on.  
  
A small knock came from hall and Rachel held her breath. Whoever it was could wait, she was sure her problem far surpassed that of having to pee.  
  
"Rachel, sweetie, come on, seriously it's not that bad, so what he's your dad, I mean, oh my god Rachel, that hottie is your father, can I come over, please!" Kate had her hands in the air, like a light had just gone off.  
  
Fortunately she was able to get a few chuckles from Rachel, "I don't think that will be happening for a while Kate, I don't live with him."  
  
"What?" Finally subsiding from a fit of giggles, Kate toughened up.  
  
"I didn't know he was my dad, he, well he left when I was four." Rachel started to open the door and peered out with her hands loosely behind her back and her eyes towards the ground.  
  
"Oh, honey I didn't know I swear it. Courtney is such a bee-otch! I mean I bet she doesn't even now, even that could put a dent in her icy heart." Kate tried to give her a re-assuring smile.  
  
"But that's the thing, I don't want to put dents in people's hearts, metaphorically and literally," She scrunched her nose in disgust and continued, "I mean I don't want to be some sob story, I am fine, yes my mother did die and yes my father left, but I was raised by two incredible people that have shown me more love than I have ever known, and I am happy, or at least I was."  
  
"What do you mean?" Kate wondered how she could possibly more upset now that her dad has finally committed to her.  
  
"My life was fine until he showed up! I mean look, I had accepted it I moved on then he comes in here like I am his property and things are all up in the air again. At least before it didn't hurt knowing that my father left because he wasn't there, you can't miss something you haven't had. Now he is and he can give me a hug and we can do the father-daughter dances. Kate what if he meets me and decides I am not good enough, what if he doesn't like me or who I have become?" Rachel burst into more tears and Kate wrapped to firm arms around her neck.  
  
"Hottie or no hottie, if he can't appreciate what a wonderful person you are than he is just plain stupid in my books. Rachel hunnie, it's impossible not to like you!"  
  
"Courtney doesn't find it to hard!" Rachel sniffled.  
  
"Courtney has the IQ of a prada stiletto and that's generous if I may say so myself, it doesn't matter what she thinks, a vegetable has more brain power than her, not to mention she is made of ice so you know!" Kate smiled and unraveled her arms from Rachel and swept away a stray, wet brown piece of hair.  
  
"You really are the best Kate, plus you are too funny!" Rachel flashed her a smile to ease her concerns, "I guess I should make an appearance huh?"  
  
"It might be wise!" Kate grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the stall.  
  
"My hair?"  
  
"Gorgeous! Now come on lets go make Courtney see what she "didn't" do!"  
  
When the girls finally entered the hall way it was like all eyes were on Rachel. She was about obvious with the red puffy eyes and all but still it only meant that it really did affect people. She casually waved and walked towards here locker where she was greeted with the one person she wanted to stay and go at the same time. Go because of the mess she made of her outfit but stay because she just needed him.  
  
"Kevin, ugh hey!" She tried to smile but it fell flat.  
  
"Baby, are you okay?" Kevin brushed his hand against her arm and pulled her into a hug.  
  
"I will manage but being in your arms makes It that much easier!"  
  
"I hoped it would. Courtney is just being Courtz don't pay any attention to her, that will throw her off her game!"  
  
"Oh I plan on payback, just haven't planned it yet!" She smirked evilly and Kate shivered, what ever she was planning it would be brutal!  
  
"Hey, did you want me to drive you home?" It was about to be lunch but she just couldn't stand to stick it out all day so she shrugged and agreed to his proposition, "Sure, that would be so great!"  
  
"Okay I'll get your bags you get your coat?"  
  
"Yea thanks!" Rachel put a hand around his waist for support and shot a passing Courtney an icy glare and tightened the embrace with Kevin, making Courtney fume with jealousy.  
  
"Actually sweetie, could you ugh, drive me to my d-da-dads!" She finally managed to squeak out. IT had been awhile since she had last used that word and thought of a person, "There are some things we need to sort out, once and for all.  
  
Kevin smiled and began to drive in the opposite direction. She was making the right decision, he just hopped he didn't hurt her again.  
  
POV angel  
  
Angel sat at the edge of his bed idly slipping the photo of him and Buffy and Rachel's first day at the hospital as a family. "She hated him, no she didn't, yes she did," Angel went back and forth in his head, pondering the life long question, could she ever forgive him for being the coward he was! He had really fucked things up this time.  
  
He quit his job today. He figured it would be for the best, as she would probably not want to work with him knowing that she wouldn't even be in the same room as him for like five seconds after discovering his dirty secret. He didn't want to leave her alone but that might be best for now. He could watch her from a distance. But what a joy it would be for him to be able to take part in her life.  
  
"Damn it!" he cursed. The sharp glass of the picture cut into his hand as he had moved. He stalked over to the quaint sink in the small kitchen that occupied his stingy motel room. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and he abandoned the rag he was about to use to stop the bleeding. "Just, a second, be right with you!" He went over and used his left hand to open the door as he clutched the right one. As he turn the knob on the other side Rachel's heart clutched in her chest.  
  
"Can I, well I mean, could I possibly, we need to talk!" She had one small hand on her hip and her lips quivered as she spoke. She was babbling, babbling like Buffy. He smiled dumbly.  
  
"What?" She said her nerves turning to anger.  
  
"Oh, nothing, of course, come in!" He was nervous too and she could tell.  
  
"That, um, Kevin, he is my boyfriend," Angel looked up with fury in his eyes, she was way too young to date, she shouldn't be doing that until after she is married! "He is waiting outside so any funny business and he is coming in, got it!"  
  
"Ugh, yea of course, course, I mean I would never, but, Rachel baby, just take a seat!" He flashed her one of his trademark grins her mother fell in love with all those years ago. She came to understand why they were so impressionable on her mother, he was like she had remembered him and her heart slowly began to melt.  
  
"You are bleeding."  
  
"I know."  
  
"oh." Rachel looked down again,  
  
"What's wrong Peanut," Angel let the last word slip, he hadn't called her that since she was a half-pint but it just seemed so familiar and loving. Rachel blushed and felt something tweak at her heart, "I am sorry I am just used to us being well so close."  
  
"yea, I know." Rachel looked to the floor! "I mean, wait! No I don't you were never there, how could we have been close, I mean I am sure you fled as far away from me as you could get. Close my ass!" Rachel stopped; she knew how much he hated a dirty mouth on his "baby girl"  
  
"Rachel!" He gave her a stern look and then shook it off, "I know, I was horrible and I was a horrible mistake, you have to believe me if I could take it back I would in a heart beat."  
  
"I think you would, but it's not the same, you made that decision and you will have to pay for it. I mean sometimes I just wish you never came back! I wish you were wherever in the hell you were and my life was with Xander and Willow and sometimes I wish I wasn't your kid I wish mom married someone else!" Rachel through her hands up in the air even though shame crept up on her face, "Maybe he wouldn't have been such a coward."  
  
"I accept that." Angel put his head down and swished his drink around.  
  
"God, of course you do, you accept all my shit you don't even try to defend yourself, and tell me it wasn't you and you had to leave and god! What's wrong with you! You used to be a fighter, I mean I was four but you were my fighter! God! Figures I have a fake of a father and a freak of a mother!" Angel finally jumped off his seat.  
  
"You can blame me for everything that goes wrong in your life but you ever speak illy of your mother so help me god I will do something I will regret! She died because of you, you took her away." Realization suddenly hit his face as he figured out what he had just said. He covered his mouth in utmost shock. He hadn't meant what he said, well sure he had thought about it before but he was never serious he couldn't live if Rachel had died instead of Buffy, she was his child.  
  
Rachel's pupils dilated and she became very pale. Tears threatened to flow over her eyes and she picked up her purse in the one hand, "I-i-gotta go!" She said in a wry voice. With that she took a mad dash for the door and escaped her worst nightmare. Even her father had admitted that she was the one that killed her mother.  
  
"Baby what's wrong?" Kevin looked so worried.  
  
"Kevin, just drive!" Angel watched from the window and he pulled out and sped off down the road. If she didn't before she surely would hate him now.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------  
  
Later that night, when Rachel got home she ran into her bedroom after checking that Willow and Xander were gone, and boarded herself into her room. It was her mother's old house and this was her mother's old room. She rummaged through the closets and found nothing but a overly big leather jacket. Without a thought she slung it over her shoulder and headed out the window, Xander had bolted it shut after her last escape but she was able to break through it after some hard work. She needed to speak to someone she hadn't spoken to since that fateful night. As Rachel approached the cemetery she set down a few candles and a large blanket. After lighting a few matches, she hoped that the wicca that Willow used to practice might help her. After the candles were all light she began to sit up and speak to the tall, towering tombstone, "Buffy Ann Summers O'Connor."  
  
"Mom?" She hesitated, she didn't usually just talk to a slab of stone, "it's me, um, Rachel, your daughter. I will, I am so sorry, that I killed, you I mean I never meant to, maybe if I hadn't been born none of this would have happened.."Before she could finish what she had to say she heard a step in the grass. When she turned around a man stood hunched over, but his face was distorted or something and he had super sharp teeth.  
  
"Be careful what you wish for!" The man had a large smirk on his face and pounced on Rachel! "Won't they be pleased when they know I killed the one!" He smiled.  
  
"the. One? I don't think I am this one, you have been mistaken, please let me go!" Rachel wept and started to back up on all fours across the muddy, wet grass.  
  
"No, I am pretty sure I am not!" He bared his teeth and made a growling noise.  
  
"ahhhhhh!!!" Rachel's scream pierced the night like a sharp knife.  
  
"Now you will meet the same fate your worthless bitch of a mother did!" the man smirked, Rachel was huddled against a grave stone when suddenly the man just burst into a pile of dust. With her arms she shielded herself and looked to her savior.  
  
"No one touches my daughter!" Angel said firmly, a stake in hand.  
  
"Daddy?" Rachel said, tear streaking down her face, mud and twigs scattered on her face and clothes.  
  
"Angel took her in his arms and lifted her up cradling her against his big chest. "Daddy's here and always will be from now on!" He put her shaken form in his car and began to drive home. It was the most silent and the longest ride Rachel had ever had.  
  
As they got to the door Angel lifted her in but as soon as he reached the threshold, Rachel got up and straightened up and held up her hand out against his firm chest.  
  
"Thank-you, for um saving me, seems like u and mom were famous for that!" She smiled.  
  
"We are your parents, and despite what you think we love you to death."  
  
"You've proved that point!" Rachel rolled her eyes.  
  
"Rachel, those things I said I didn't mean them at all." Angel said quickly  
  
"I think we both said some things we didn't need, but I have to admit, I am fifteen turning sixteen and what you said is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me. We used to be really close dad. Tonight, I think it was a break through and we have a lot of work to do before we can become all chummy again and we will have to work at it."  
  
"Just let me get you settled in peanut!" Angel touched her arm but Rachel moved back.  
  
"I love you dad, but I don't have to like you." With that Rachel closed the door and left Angel out in the cold, where he had been for the past few years of her life.  
  
TBC  
  
OKAY that took a while to write I agree but please review I think this was a big turning point and I need feeback!! Thnz luv sarah! 


	30. Catch 22

Catch 22  
  
A/n: U MITE WANNA GRAB A TISSUE!!!  
  
"Peanut wake up sweetie, pancakes are on the island and Kevin will be here in fifteen! Don't forget to brush your teeth and lock the door before you leave! I will be back by five tonight and hopefully supper will be on the table ready and waiting!" Angel said with a smile shouting up the stairs fondly, to his only daughter. Rachel was probably in the bathroom doing her routine brush of the hair and apply of the make-up. Women, who understood them anyways.  
  
"Okay daddy," Rachel came bounding down the stairs and gave Angel a quick peck on the cheek, "Have a good day at work and behave!" Rachel scolded teasingly!  
  
Angel looked taken aback but his mouth twitched into a large grin, "Hey who is the parent here?"  
  
"you are but you haven't been for a while I am just getting used to living with my real father," considering him as her parent was a bit of a sore subject but needless to say the two were extremely happy together and had been so for the past two months.  
  
"Now, as I said, no boys in the house, no skirts above the knee and definitely no going out at night, you heard what Giles said!" Angel said sternly.  
  
"Yes daddy, I will see you at five" Rachel put on one of her girlish smiles and shut the door behind her dad. Racing up the stairs Rachel hiked up her skirt, applied a bit of rouge lipstick and made her hair fall in long messy tresses. He sure acted like her father but things weren't going to change too much, she had a reputation to uphold.  
  
As her father had mentioned Kevin was there on time and wanting to go as soon as he could. Him and Angel didn't really get along. Maybe it was Angel's hate for Kevin after catching the two of them on the couch together or the fact that Kevin was still so mad at Angel for leaving Rachel all those years ago. It really was a mixture of feelings. As Rachel came gliding down the stairs his breath hitched in his throat. It always did that when he saw her. She was only fifteen about to turn sixteen and he was seventeen going on eighteen, and even though he had dated so of the most intimidating women, i.e Courtney, she still made him weak in the knees.  
  
"Hey baby!" Rachel rushed over and plopped down in the front of the car and they sped off into the rest of the day. Together they had overcome a lot of things including Rachel's road to recovery with her father. After that night, the one break through, Rachel and her father had had counseling and some good old fashioned bonding time until it was apparent that both of them had found their lost love. It was only shortly that she and her father were having long talks about nothing but everything at the same time. It was that night at the kitchen table that really changed everything. It was what made Rachel know that she belonged with him.  
  
"flash back"  
  
Rachel had just come home from her volleyball practice and needles to say she was definitely wiped out. She dragged her feet over to the couch and just plopped right down, abandoning her book bag by the door. Kevin had dropped her off and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek then sped off. Willow and Xander were out that night, or so she remembered. Willow had a doctor's appointment for the baby and she had told them many times before that she could certainly handle herself for all of four hours seeing as they had to go into L.A to get to the doctor.  
  
After Rachel had curled up on the couch like a small child, the door had slowly creaked open, fortunately not disturbing her peaceful slumber. A man, tall and dark, had entered the room and shuffled across the living room, where he found her on the couch. He stopped. Had the girl not had chestnut brown hair he would have mistaken her for the younger version of his beloved wife. Leaning over the small girl he extended his hand and caressesed the side of her cheek. It was so warm and soft. Finally the man was able to break away and find a blanket for the sleeping bundle. After finding one in the main hall closet he laid it gently across the girl's sleeping form and was abut to leave when a small hand whipped out of the covers and wrapped tightly around his wrist,  
  
"Daddy?" she wasn't sure if it was him but it seemed as though she just knew the intruder wasn't there to be harmful.  
  
"Yes peanut, I'm here, I knew you were going to be left alone tonight so I decided I should check the house, make sure you were alright," He had said with an uneasy smile and began to leave.  
  
"Wait!" She blurted out, "Do you think you could tell me about, about her?" She said uneasily hoping she wouldn't have to explain who she meant, he always got that much darker when she was mentioned. "It's just that, I don't remember her at all and for all I have heard she was a wonderful person but, I want a straight answer and who better to ask than you? I think I deserve to know."  
  
"Of course you do." He was still looking sad but Rachel decided to ignore it and lead him to the kitchen where he took a seat and she began to prepare some tea. "Rachel, your mother was many things. Lover, friend, protector, savior, but the one thing she liked best was mother. I think that if she could have traded it all she would have had you stay as a baby forever. She just loved being a mother, especially your mother. I remember when she talked to you when you were only a half pint, she would get all glowy and her eyes had this untouchable sparkle that was only there for you. We had the best times, us three. We went to the park and had picnics and you had your very first steps right next door at Giles' old house. Oh, how Buffy doted on you. You were lavished with all things pink and I have to admit I liked to spoil you too. You were a very special baby and for some reason Buffy knew that better than all the rest. Her last words were about you. She said, "Protect her, because some day she is going to change the world." I will take those words to heart. Your mother, Buffy Anne Summers O'connor and you, Rachel Kathy O'Connor are both fighters and that is what I love most about you two. There isn't much more to say, Buffy was Buffy, Buffy was your mother and Buffy was..." he faltered, his vocal chords tied in a knot and his voice cracked, "my heart."  
  
With that Rachel leapt into her father's arms and just tried to consol him the best she could. No one had ever spoken about her mother like that and it broker her heart to see how much he really missed her. She could then finally have some sort of understanding as to what happened and why he left. She was proud that her mother was who she was and all the night they sat together crying in love for the woman that was lost in battle.  
  
End Flash back  
  
"Rachel, earth to Rachel," after coming out of her memories, Kate and Ally her two best friends were staring at her with worry etched on their faces.  
  
"What's up with you girl, you have been acting really strange lately!" Kate, who knew her best, announced.  
  
"Ya, really strange!" Ally hunched over her book nose deep in words.  
  
"I know I am sorry I just feel like something is going to happen very soon." It was like a knowing feeling in the pit of her stomach. Like her and her father didn't have much longer, that something was coming and that she was to play a pivotal roll. Sure she'd say that and they would put her in a nuthouse.  
  
"What like get a B on a test for once!" Kate let out a snicker.  
  
"Yea," Rachel rolled her eyes and decided to keep her mouth shut about her, "feelings".  
  
"So, got any plans tonight?" Ally finally discarded the book.  
  
"Ugh, well family dinner with my dad he is coming home early for me and we are going to have supper together!"  
  
"oh, Rachel! Come on! You always have to have dinner with your dad lately!" Ally pouted and Kate nudged her in the side, "Ow!"  
  
"No, that's cool, it's good have family dinners, I totally support that!"  
  
"Thanks Kate but I am getting a bit annoyed by it too, I think we have worked out the issues already, it's time for a little space you know!"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't mind spending all that time with your dad!" Kate blushed.  
  
"So that's why you are always coming over!" Rachel let out a smirk and buzzed by her two friends, "well ladies I have one more class to go and I am out of here so I will talk to yall' later and hopefully we will be able to meet for the Bronze tomorrow night?"  
  
"Sounds good!" Kate cheered.  
  
"then, maybe we could have a sleepover at your house?" Ally also blushed!  
  
"Would you also like a picture and an autograph to go with that!" The two girls looked at her seriously and Rachel just let out a loud life at their reaction and kept teasing, "I was joking, I am not giving you my dad's picture, besides he is like ancient."  
  
"thirty-three-ish is not old!" Kate mocked.  
  
"old enough! Bye girls and oh by the way Kate you have some drool on your chin!" Rachel loved to poke fun at the girls' crushes on her father. Honestly what did they see besides a handsome muscular guy. Yep it's always fun when all the girls at school think your dad is the number one hottie!  
  
As Rachel was walking down the hallway she got the weirdest feeling that something was watching her. No not something, someone. The more she walked the more she felt someone's eyes boring into her. She quickened her pace and decided to get to class as soon as she could. She swung into her seat but couldn't shake the feeling all day long.  
  
When Rachel got homes she called Willow to check on her pregnancy and then did her homework. By the time that angel had arrived home she had fallen asleep on the couch in a fetus position.  
  
"Sweetheart, come on wake up! The couch isn't too good for that neck of yours!" All Angel got for a reply was a groan of protest, so with steady arms Angel picked up his almost sixteen year old daughter in his broad arms and carried her up to her bedroom. As soon as he let go of her sleepy filled body, she instinctively curled into a ball and clutched the blankets. Angel sat lovingly at the side of her bed and stroked the strands of hair that grazed her forehead.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"Yes sweetheart?"  
  
"Tell me again, tell me what she looked like?" Angel suspected she was halfway between sleep and talking.  
  
"She was a mere four year old and I, being the strong and manly six year old that I was at that time grabbed her small little hand and led her away to get some ice cream with your uncle Will trailing behind us. She always said she didn't like the chocolate and that Vanilla was best for her, but the chocolate always suited her Angel. We grew up from them on and it wasn't until she was fourteen that I started to notice her long golden hair and her eyes as fierce as the war god himself..." Angel trailed off, she was asleep and all was well again. With a peck on the forehead, Angel left the room shutting the door behind him. Now it was his turn to cry himself to sleep. --------------------------------------  
  
It was a week until Rachel's Sixteenth birthday and Giles was getting worried. Not only had Rachel not been trained to protect herself until that night, she was still not aware of her crucial destiny. If Giles didn't act fast the whole world would be in ruins. So he picked up his brief case and headed to Willows.  
  
Meanwhile, Xander and Willow were setting up the babies crib, and palying around with the baby monitor.  
  
"Repeating, Mrs. Harris, can you hear me?"  
  
"Roger, roger, Mr. Harris.!" And Willow fell back in a fit of giggles.  
  
"and baby harris? Can she or he here me?"  
  
"I think he can!" Willow smiled and blushed as Xander slowly started to pick up on what she had just let slid.  
  
"He? We are going to have a son?"  
  
Willow just nodded her head in approval, "just call it witches intuition?"  
  
Suddenly Xander jumped across the room and planted a big wet kiss on the mother to be's round belly.  
  
"A son. I am going to have a son."  
  
"yea and hopefully he will be better at sports than you are!" Willow stuck out her tongue just as the bell began to ring.  
  
"I think that's Rachel, she said she might come by to help us out with the baby furniture."  
  
"Alright, now you just rest, I'll get it!" Xander rushed over the the wide oak door and opened it slowly to reveal a figure that seemed a little less teenager and a little more tweed.  
  
"G-man! How goes it?" Xander said with a smile. When the smile was not returned, Xander's face became quite serious and led Giles to the living room.  
  
"Xander, Willow, I am afraid I have some bad news."  
  
"So I guess this isn't a social call?" Willow said with faint traces of hope in her quivering voice.  
  
"I am sorry. I seem to have very lousy timing but it is very important. It is a week until the Savior's sixteenth birthday."  
  
"The savoir? Can't you just call her by her name, she is a person you know Giles." Xander was hurt that a man he had known forever would be as inconsiderate as to mention his Rachel like that.  
  
"I know." Giles bowed his head in shame, "it's just easier to regard her as that because I know the inevitable and it only hurts more to think that she is the daughter of my some-what adoptive daughter."  
  
"Well face the facts her Giles, she is a person and this isn't right. Why can't the pwers ever depend on a pig or a goat why does it always have to be the innocent child?" Willow exclaimed after holding her breath for several minutes.  
  
"It is because she is so innocent and pure that the powers choose her. Trust me if everything were that simple we wouldn't be have these problems. You know what she has to do." Giles eased himself down. He knew this wasn't going to be an easy conversation. However, this was just for Willow and Xander, wait until he would have to break the news to Angel.  
  
"No." Xander stood up and shook his head. "No, you can't do this. You can't just ride in here like you are all high and mighty and take an innocent girls life away all because it was written by a bunch of dead morons. Giles, she is like our daughter, I will not let you sacrifice her."  
  
Giles kept his eyes on the ground. "You are going to have to Xander?"  
  
"Oh yea and why is that?"  
  
"Because if she does die Xander, he will." Giles cast a look in Willow's direction, and Willow clutched her stomach.  
  
Xander stepped back in denial shaking his head, his eyes empty. "No, no?" Xander shook his head in disbelief. If she didn't die his son and wife would. How could he choose? His flesh or the girl he had nurtured for her entire life. Willow broke down in sobs and realized that come what may she had to protect the infant growing inside of her and Xander knew it too so they were both silenced into guilt and heartbreak.  
  
"I think it's time we told Rachel and Angel." Giles cleared his thoart.  
  
"I love Rachel make no mistake but Giles we involve Angel and the whole world goes down. There is no way in hell he will let them do what they are going to do to her. I am sorry Giles and I know it is wrong but if this prophecy is meant for Rachel then it is only meant for Rachel and it is her decision to do what she wants with it but as soon as we involve Angel there is no way this world can be salvaged." Xander needed to protect his son as much as this was killing him inside. The selfish part of Xander knew that one death was better then the deaths of the whole world.  
  
"He's right Giles, Angel must not know until it is too late for him to pull anything." Giles nodded in agreement.  
  
"She is coming by soon for the baby stuff, we can tell her then." Willow supplied.  
  
"Get ready, because today, war starts." Giles rubbed his forehead and Willow left the room.  
  
When Rachel finally got there she opened the door with the key she had already been given awhile ago to find a very morbid living room. Willow and Xander sat in totally silence and she assumed that they were waiting for her to come in. So she tediously pulled off her shoes and joined them on the couch when she noticed the man in tweed sitting in the opposite armchair.  
  
"What's going on."  
  
Willow spoke calmly, "You might want to sit down." And from that point on Giles took it upon himself to explain that the week before her birthday was to be her last. At the end of his long speech and continuous sobs from Willow and the shamed look Xander had that was wracked with guilt, Rachel seemed eerily calm. Though her eyes remained empty. Giles finally came to the end of his discussion and he too had to remove his glasses and wipe the tears from his eyes. All of them had expected her to stomp around, throw things, hit stuff, rebel anything that showed a little emotion then the empty void she was. All eyes were on her when a single tear fell from the corner of her big grown eyes. With a quivering mouth she opened her lips to speak for the first time since her arrival. IT put everyone on the edge of their seats.  
  
"Will it hurt?" 


	31. Something of my own

Something that's Mine  
  
It's like what they had always said, once you tell yourself a lie over and over again you start to believe it yourself. Rachel took in the news of her predestined future with an eery calmness. She was the only one. Willow was devasted or so she appeared, shaking in the corning with Xander's soothing hand rubbing her shoulders. Even he couldn't stay strong enough to hold a straight face and eventually he caved and was racked with sobs or guilt and despair. But she didn't. Was that normal? Did she want to die? No not really she just knew like there was something in the pit of her stomach that this was her destiny. Her destiny. She liked that, for the first time in her life she had something that belonged just to her and no one else. The only one. There it was again that sense of being special in every way, being like her mother.  
  
Of course there was Kevin and how she would miss Kevin but he was never truly hers alone, he had been Christina's, Roselands, Ashleighs and god knows how many other guys he had been with. Her father was never really hers to begin with, his heart belonged to her mother and her mother to him as Willow's was to her unborn child. So this destiny, as gloom as it may be was something she did not fear but embraced, well for now anyway.  
  
So what do you say when you were just told you would have to sacrifice yourself for the rest of the world. When you are told demons really do exist and are after you alone. That you are the only solution to the problem, that you will never see those you love ever again including Kate and Ally and the man she came to love, Kevin. That the dad she just got back would lose her to the same thing that claimed his wife. That for the first time you might actually get to meet your mother up there in paradise when this is all over. What else then the facts.  
  
"Will it hurt?" It just came out, it wasn't meant to hurt anyone or to be the victim it was just a statement, just a fact I needed to know.  
  
Giles, this man I was told was like my grandfather took off his glasses and rubbed them furiously with the silk like piece of material and willow's sobs just got harder. I sobered up and rephrased my question.  
  
"giles," I said patting him on the leg gently to assure him I was alright, "what will happen."  
  
"It says here that you will be lured to a vampire nest and that they will kill you and it will stop the end the world. How? We aren't sure yet. When it happens it will just happen, but if you day before then, the world as we know it will be in peril."  
  
"So, I have to survive until this "sacrifice" and all the beasties in town will be looking for Rachel Meat in the meantime?"  
  
"Exactly." Giles nodded with concern.  
  
"okay." And that was it. It was a signed sealed deal, I would save the world, die and see mom all in one day. And who ever said life was boring in Sunnydale?  
  
With that simple phrase Willow ceased her sobs and Xander tore his head away from the shelter of her arms. With question in their eyes they looked at Rachel in disbelief.  
  
"okay, I will do it." This time more confident.  
  
"Rachel, sweetie we know, we know this is hard but honey you don't have to do it and are you feeling alright?"  
  
Rachel sighed with a smile, she was going to die and she just couldn't mourn it, it was like this was her greater purpose she had been searching for so that her mother's death wasn't in vain. "I am positive, well hey I figure I don't die I will die along with the rest of the world, so why not do it sooner, die, and have the rest of the world live?"  
  
"are you human, are you sure your not some saint incarnate?" Xander sounded somewhat serious and Rachel giggled.  
  
"Smile Xander you are about to be a daddy!"  
  
"Thanks to you kiddo, but you know in my heart you are like a daughter and I will be damned if I am going to say that I will be happy you are sacrificing yourself."  
  
"Rachel, there's more!"  
  
"More?" Her eyes bulged, what more could there be she was going to die and all.  
  
"Your father, you mustn't tell him until it is too late to stop it, if he knows..." Giles trailed off.  
  
"He will try to stop it, I know, that's why I don't plan on telling him at all."  
  
'What, oh honey what ever your father did he deserves to know to say goodbye to mourn, you can't just fall off the face of the planet." Xander explained.  
  
"He will be at more peace if he believes it was an accident, he can't lose both of us to the supernatural, it would destroy him." Rachel looked sad since receiving the news.  
  
"Rachel..." for the first time Willow spoke in a hushed tone, "Xander and I can only pray that our son is as brave, crouageous like you."  
  
Rachel's heart melted, she knew how hard this was on everyone what they couldn't figure out was why it wasn't on her.  
  
"I have some homework to do so I am going to leave, if I don't want to die before next week I better ace this chem. Test or dad will!" She laughed and gathered her things giving willow a brief hug as well as Xander. When she got to Giles she hesitated but alarmingly he grabbed hold of her and squeezed till she had no breath.  
  
"Ugh right-o so see you tomorrow." And he stepped out just like that.  
  
Rachel looked to willow for an explanation, "he was your mother's adoptive father, you are like a granddaughter." Rachel made an O with her mouth and silently left the house returning to hers.  
  
"daddy? Daddy are you home?" she looked around the vacant area and to her dismay he was not around. She had been wanting to spend as much time as possible with him before she died.  
  
"O well," She sighed and decided to pick up the phone and do the first thing that made her want to change her decision. She called Kevin.  
  
"Hello is Kevin there?" she asked her voice still struggling with the decision.  
  
"hello?" A deep manly voice replied.  
  
"Kevin." It was raspy.  
  
'Rach, honey are you arlight? Where are you?" He knew right away something was wrong.  
  
"I am at home, everything is fine." Boy was this going to be tough.  
  
"So was there something you wanted to talk about, formal maybe?"  
  
Rachel's heart clenched, formal it was two weeks away she wouldn't make it by then, her first formal and she would have to miss it.  
  
"Kevin we should talk."  
  
"well I think that is what we are doing, but define talking?"  
  
"Kevin I want to break up." The phone went eerily silent, too silent and it was making her heart break.  
  
"You want to what?" He shouted.  
  
"I know you heard me," she sighed.  
  
"I heard you but I am having a hard time processing it."  
  
"I just need some space right now a lot is going on."  
  
"Well I can help you through it."  
  
She wanted him o gosh did she want him to but she couldn't do that to him, make him love her and then just die like that maybe if she broke up with him he would resent her maybe her passing would be that much easier on him. "You can't, I want you to, but you can't,"  
  
"Do you love me?" he asked and waited, he waited so long he thought she had hung up.  
  
"No." That was it, it was long and silent so silent almost untouchable and then she hung up she couldn't wait for his response she couldn't hear him, not now, Not now that she lied.  
  
If life wasn't hell after that then what was. It was clear that Kevin was over her and had moved on to Regina Roberts head cheerleader. Oh yea smooth Kevin get to me by dating the biggest air head of life. O well as long as it wasn't Christina she was definitely okay. Her friends noted that she had been very distant lately but choosed to ignore it as they knew finals were coming up and everyone was feeling the stress while balancing their shopping for dresses for formal.  
  
"Oh my god you would die my dress is straight out of a vogue magazine, its pale pale blue and is as light as air with frills on the capped sleeve." Ally bragged.  
  
"Well mine is just to die for it's a little more, well sexy when I say sexy I mean skanky, its jade colour you know that funny looking colour of green and it has dark black beads at the bust. The back is cut just above my behind and comes with a flapper purse it really is awesome." Kate smirked and Ally just huffed.  
  
"Rach, what's your dress look like, you would look slamming in a white dress with your tan skin and chestnut hair."  
  
Rachel smiled nervously, she had seen a nice white dress that was her mother's when she went to her formal with her boyfriend at the time Riley. It was very cute and had an empire waistline but what did it matter.  
  
"I am not going." She finally told them and watched as all three gasped.  
  
"not going? What are you taking about not going you are one of the most populare girls in the school you are so going to get queen and Kevin will get king for sure."  
  
"you don't know? Kevin and are aren't dating anymore and I am not going to formal because I don't want to end of story okay?"  
  
"Okay, okay! We get it." Kate put her hands in the air defensively.  
  
"Good, now what's for lunch?" Rachel swiftly adverted the topic.  
  
And then it was Wednesday her second last full day on earth. 'What to do, what to do?' So Rachel went home and was able to catch her dad before she was out the door.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"Yes peanut?" Angel turned and smiled to his his daughter and it broke her heart, she was his light she was his buffy, it was going to destroy him.  
  
"You think we could stay in tonight just you and me and watch some movies?" Angel glared at her, this was not normal almost 16 yr old teenage girl behavior.  
  
"Don't you have plans with Kevin?" Rachel shook her head.  
  
"Okay I will order pizza you get the movie!" HE was beyond happy that she would want to spend time with him.  
  
"Sounds good I am just going to go and change be down in a jiff!" And she ran upstairs. Rachel put on some sweats and jogged downstairs with the princess bride tucked firmly underneath her arm.  
  
"So what flick is it tonight?"  
  
"Princess Bride what else?" She got a groan from Angel.  
  
"what?"  
  
"Your mother made me watch that move a zillion times."  
  
"Then I guess once more can't hurt?" Rachel smiled and flopped down on the couch next to Angel.  
  
Halfway through movie Rachel shifted, "dad, I want to let you know, I forgive you." Angel paused the movie, had he heard right?  
  
"You fo-orgive me" he stumbled over the words.  
  
"You may never forgive yourself but I forgive you and I want you to let it go, I love you dad and I forgive you." She said with a simple shrug of her shoulders. It was best to get it all out before she had no time left.  
  
"Oh Rachel." He swept her small frame up in his big embrace and they dosed off.  
  
Tomorrow was going to be her last full day. 


	32. The Heart of Hell

The Heart of Hell  
  
Rachel awoke beneath the heavy arm of her father on the couch. She had forgotten her and Angel had fallen asleep on the couch after her confession. She couldn't not forgive him before, before, well you know it just seemed so natural anyways. As much as she felt security in the arms of her daddy Rachel had to get moving if she was to do all the things she wanted to. Regrettably Rachel lifted her fathers arm off of her torso and watched it sag to the cushion above his head. Both of their chocolate locks were in an unruly mess and before anything was started that was to be fixed. She may be a corpse in another day but she would no sacrifice fashion.  
  
As she was about to jut up the stairs she stopped in front of the big gaping window in the living room the window panes blessed with the beauty of the rising sun. Her last sunrise. It was funny how everything becomes so much more important when your days are limited. She could intimately describe the faint orange, the bursting pinks and shades of mellow yellow with such accuracy. It was too bad she didn't have an English essay due because this new found skill would be sure to ace the task. Just as she pondered the sun a car pulled up in the driveway, with a sense of curiosity Rachel came to the door.  
  
"Hello? Who is it?" Rachel was frightened to open the door because she was very aware of what Giles had said about how she was a target but there was something about that voice, it was like she had heard it before but it just didn't register.  
  
"Sweetie just open the door, put your trust in me." A calm and cool voice drifted to her ears and Rachel was mesmerized by the strangers voice. What was even weirder was that this stranger didn't feel like a stranger at all. All of these senses made her hand drift to the door and open it to whatever stood on the other side. As soon as the barrier of the door was out of the way Rachel almost shrieked.  
  
"Now Rachel, that's not a way to greet your mother." The woman with the golden hair and green firey eyes wore a smile that twisted into a grin. It wasn't the kind of grin she would have pictured her mother to bear, this was malicious and dare she say it, evil?  
  
"What? How? Mom?" Rachel had tears spilling from her eyes but she wasn't to wake her father in fear of him finding out about her supposed destiny. So she shut the door behind her and continued to cry.  
  
"They sent me back to you sweetie, so I can warn you." The woman or more so mirage's hand touched Rachel's forearm and the touch almost burnt her so she pulled away not fully trusting what she saw.  
  
"Warn me? Well about what." She couldn't say much, the wheels in her head were spinning out of wack. Should she hug her or should she go back in the house?  
  
"Tonight darling, tonight you must kill yourself before they can use you, that Giles he lies to you he really wants what they want to kill and be murderous, to end this world. If you go to the ritual tonight you will become a murderer again." Rachel stood aghast. Had her mother just said the one thing she feared the most? Was it true? Rachel couldn't help but fall against the door in a fit of sobs.  
  
"Again, what do you mean by again?" Rachel's eyes were filled to the brin of her eyelid with a sappy liquid, her silver tears.  
  
"Crying isn't going to help you now girly, mommy has seen what a bad girl you have been. I really sacrificed myself for this a cry baby? God sometimes humans are so stup—"With that Rachel had titled her head and was on her feet, silver tears dryed from her cheek.  
  
"What did you say?" The lost little girl routine she had been pulling was gone and now resorted to an angry teenager and clever warrior.  
  
"I- I said that I really sacrificed myself for a cry baby?" Her mother or rather this thing was stumbling, her mother wouldn't stumble, her mother would have hugged her, her mother wouldn't have called her a murderer. If her mother was as great as her dad claimed then her mother wouldn't have told her to kill herself.  
  
"No, after that." Rachel stepped forward getting closer and closer to the thing's fake nose.  
  
"Fine, you got me, good job you wretched girl, but don't think this is over!" The thing paused, "Its only beginning," And the image of her mother was now replaced by her grandmother joyce who had passed away recently, and a rueful smile stretched across her face. With that the thing disappeared.  
  
Although she had discovered that it was not her mother and only a thing that was using her body to convince Rachel to commit suicide it still struck with her. That was the first time she had every met her mother since her death and even before that she could never really remember. Suddenly everything was becoming so real. She had to get to Giles and tell him about the visit, it looks like more than demons are coming after me and this one's big, she thought idly.  
  
"Giles open up!" She banged on the door repetitively, "Please, Giles it's important, put down your tea and scones and get your British ars over here!"  
  
Giles came to the door in an old silk robe and bunny slippers, colour me surprised. He had a pot of tea on and two French toast were neatly arranged on the table. At least someone is having a good morning, Rachel huffed under her breath.  
  
"Come in, we can discuss this over some tea," Following Giles into the cramped apartment Rachel took a seat on the old couch situated in front of a stack of books.  
  
After telling Giles the story even he was reduced to a tear or two. Rachel hadn't wanted to make him upset but it seemed that event he idea of Buffy coming back was somewhat painful to describe.  
  
"That's absurd, there is no demon I can ever recall that could posses the ability to evolve into the shape of other people."  
  
"Not just any people Giles, Deceased people." Rachel crossed her legs.  
  
"Hmm, I shall consult my books, you may read your mother's diaries if you would like, yes?" Giles handed her a stack of books and she wandered over to the couch again.  
  
"Oh joy reading," Rachel huffed and Giles gave her a pat on the head before joining her on the couch. After several minutes Rachel jumped from the couch.  
  
After hours of flipping through meaningless passages about her goo goo gag a affections for her dad she finally found something worth mentioning." Listen here," And she tilted the book to a more convenient angle, "Today was the best day of my life and the worst in all respects, I went into premature labor today and that frightened me most, if I were to lose this miracle child I would never forgive myself. She hadn't even come into the world and I was in love with her. During labor I passed out or I think I did I can't remember I was all so confusing I wasn't even sure if my baby made it. I was in a dream, well I hope it was a dream but I know otherwise. Know one will believe me and I don't want to burden my Angel with the paranormal. I was in my head I think and there was this little girl and I think it was me as a little girl and on the other side there was my mother and she was calling for me to go towards this bright light. I told the child not to because the baby could die if the light was what I thought it was and that's when that thing that was my mother morphed into nothing so that all I could hear was her voice she told me that I would die before my child would have to face her and all that echoed in my mind was, "The first" Then I was awake and all I saw was Angel and the baby. I don't know if I should tell Giles, but I think something big is about to happen, lord protect my baby for if she dies not only shall I but the world in return, - Buffy Anne Summers." By the end of the reading Rachel was beginning tog et teary eyed for her mother and for the love these words meant to her. They had found their convicted villain and all she could do was wait and she thought to herself, it's good to be a child born on the heart of Hell. 


End file.
